Ari grabs a piece of paper towel from the counter, dries her hands then takes a few steps toward me. “Is your dad here?” she asks, taking hold of my hand.
“No. He and my mom don’t live here anymore,” I tell her, trying to contain my emotions, I’m so consumed with feelings I don’t know where to put them. He named his daughter after me. He told her he still loved me. He wanted to raise his family with me. He’s trying to get me back. All these realizations and thoughts surprise, scare, and excite me.
“I have an idea,” she replies and then she’s walking out of the bathroom, leaving me behind once again except this time, I’m left behind with a million emotions I hadn’t bargained for.
It takes me a whole ten minutes to put myself back together. I had to reapply the little bit of makeup I put on because it was all messed up and nothing else could fix it. I knew I shouldn’t have worn makeup, but I didn’t expect that I’d be crying tonight.
There are a lot of things I didn’t expect.
I clear my throat one last time and then walk out of the bathroom. Right as I walk out, I almost run into Emely. “Ouch,” she says.
“I didn’t even touch you,” I tell her.
“Sorry, force of habit,” she shrugs.
“Were you searching for me?” I ask.
“Yeah, I finished the call and you weren’t in the gym or your office. I thought you’d ditched me.”
“I can’t leave this party… I’m the principal.”
“Right right. So I decided to check the bathroom again.”
“How was the call?” I ask, trying to distract myself.
She makes a sour face. “I have to fly out tomorrow. I have to go back to Mexico because the client is being difficult and they need someone to manage him.”
“What are you a client-crisis-responder?”
“I guess. Enough about work, how come you were still in the bathroom?” she asks. “Were you still crying?” she adds.
I nod. “I was but not for what you think…”
“What happened?” she asks, curiosity painted on her face as her eyes look at me expectantly.
“I’ll tell you when we get home. I’d rather not open up the floodgates again. It took me a long time to not look like I got run over, so let’s just talk about it later.” I need to get back to the party and show face, talking to Emely about my conversation with Ari would just rile me up all over again.
I need to calm down.
29
AMARI
“Ms. Santana,” a voice I’ve come to recognize calls my name.
I turn around to find Christian and Ari standing right next to each other and in front of me.
Trying to avoid looking at him in the eyes, I bring my attention to his daughter. The child he named after me.
“Yes, Ari?” I tell her, lowering myself so I’m face to face with her. Even though I’m not looking at him, I can feel him. The air crackles with so much tension that I can’t be the only one feeling it. But I’m not about to try and figure out if it’s affecting him by looking him in the eyes. That’s always been a dangerous thing.
“Remember how you were crying earlier?” she asks and I’m hit with embarrassment.
“I wasn—” I start but pause, realizing I don’t want to lie or make her out to seem like a liar.
“I saw you crying when I came into the bathroom. And then, when I was telling you the story, I could see you wanted to cry again,” she adds. Kids never miss a thing.
I close my eyes and open them back up then nod. “You’re right. I was crying. I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize.”
I smile at her so she sees it’s all good. “I’m getting better though,” I tell her.
“I thought you should dance with my dad?” she says and I cough to the point I find myself chocking.
Feet shuffle, and seconds later, Christian’s hand is extended toward me as he hands me a cup of water.
“Thank you,” I say after I take a sip and control my coughing.
“My dad is such a gentleman,” Ari says looking back at him. “We agreed that if I saw someone I thought he should dance with, that he would. So, I think he should dance with you,” Ari says, smiling at me.
I take another gulp of the water, and realizing that’s not enough, I drink the whole thing. “It’s your day. You should be the one to dance with him,” I tell her, trying to reason with her.
I wait for Christian to say something. To tell her he doesn’t want to dance with me. That he’d rather dance with anyone else. But instead all he says is. “I’d love to dance with you,” and those words are my undoing because all of a sudden I find my hand in Ari’s. I raise my eyes and meet Christian’s and sparks fly when Ari’s hand connects his and mine to each other. She lets go and all I have left is my hand in his. Christian’s hands feel different than they used to, rougher. Stronger.
“See, my dad would love to dance with you. Will you dance with him?” she asks, looking up at the two of us.
I nod. Realizing there’s no way out, but even if there was, I don’t want to take it. Not when my heart flutters at the feel of Christian’s hand holding on to my own. He grips tightly, silently reassuring me he won’t let go this time. Funny, I wanted nothing more than to escape him, but now I want nothing more than to get lost in him.
“Only for one dance,” I tell her, but it’s more for me. More than one dance and things can get dangerous. More than one dance, and I won’t be able to stop myself from kissing him right at this school dance in front of everyone.
“One dance for now,” Ari says with that devious smile Christian’s always had.
Christian lowers himself and kisses his daughter’s forehead. “Don’t go too far,” he tells her.
“I won’t, Daddy. I’m just going to go talk to a few of my friends,” she says, pointing behind her to a group of fifth graders who are giggling as they look in our direction. “I bet you they’ll think the two of you are dating,” she adds and the coughing fit starts again. “Gotta go,” she says when her friends signal for her to come over.
“Do you need more water?” Christian asks, his left hand coming right below my chin as he turns me to face him.
I slowly bring my eyes up to his. I shake my head to answer his question when I can’t formulate any words.
“Are you sure?” he asks when my coughing continues and his eyes feel like they’re looking into my soul.
I finally stop coughing. “I’m good,” I tell him. Without releasing my hand, he pulls me over to the dance floor. Like in every cheesy movie, the DJ somehow decides that this party doesn’t need the kind of music that makes you jump up and down but rather the one that slows everything down. Making it all happen in slow motion.
Christian smiles at me and the floor beneath me shakes with impact. “Are you ready?” he asks, closing the distance between us. “I’ve missed this,” he whispers in my ear, sending shocks of electricity through my entire body.
“Missed dancing with me?” I ask, my voice belonging to a less confident girl. One who’s warring against her emotions.