“Missed having your hand in my own,” he adds as he brings our hands to his lips and kisses mine. “Missed the way your eyes get bigger when you’re nervous,” he adds, placing my hand on his chest. “The way my heart rate increases when you’re near.” I feel the beating of his heart beneath my hand. Even with the sound of the music, the yelling and shouting of the little girls and their fathers around us, I can feel his heart beating. Erratically. Rushed. Like it’s riding a rollercoaster. I’m right there with him.
“I missed this too,” I tell him, surprising myself with my honesty.
“Missed what exactly?” he presses, our feet moving to the music.
“Missed you. Us,” I tell him candidly.
“If you give me a chance, you don’t have to miss us anymore.”
If I gave him a chance… what? He could win me over again? Does he even have to? I’m already his, always have been. Even though I’ve wanted nothing more than to be released from the hold he’s had on me, I’ve never been freed and that’s partly because I don’t want to be. “I’ll give you a chance,” I tell him, hoping he doesn’t make me regret my words.
As if he’s listening to my thoughts, he makes me a promise. “You won’t regret it, Amari.” His assurance brings a little bit of peace, but still the doubt creeps in. He’s made promises to me before that he’s broken, what makes me so sure he’ll keep this one?
Unexpectedly, as the song is about to end, Christian’s lips find my own and I’m lost in another song altogether, except this one isn’t being played by the DJ. No, this song comes directly from two hearts that are finally beating together and creating the perfect melody. I’m lost in the familiarity and strangeness of his lips, of his touch. I’m drunk on a mixture of the Christian I knew and loved and the new version of him, which is a mystery I’m giving myself the chance to discover.
“I knew it was you,” a voice says and we pull apart immediately like teenagers who were just caught doing something they shouldn’t. When we look down, we find Ari looking back up at us.
“You knew it was who, what?” Christian asks, not at all phased by the fact that his daughter, and probably the entire elementary school faculty and staff, as well as dads and daughters, just saw us kiss.
Ari smiles knowingly. “When you told me the story about the Amari you loved, the girl that got away, I knew it was her.”
Christian looks at me and then at his apparently wicked smart daughter. “So, you set this up?” he asks, his hand finding mine naturally, like we’d been doing it for years. Like we never stopped.
“You were taking too long to get her back. I had to do what I could to make it happen,” she adds and I stand there with a smile on my face as I appreciate the genius child in front of me.
Christian kneels down in front of her. “Thanks for the help, kid. I knew you were smart.”
“I’m your daughter after all,” she tells him.
“This is true,” he tells her, kissing the top of her head once again and my heart is full of appreciation and love.
“Amari… I mean, Ms. Santana,” Ari corrects herself and I stop myself from laughing. “My dad loves you. Do you love him?”
As if I’m in an interrogation room, Ari and Christian look back at me waiting for my answer like the fate of the world depends on it. “I do… I love him. I never stopped,” I admit to the two of them.
“He named me after you, so clearly he never stopped loving you either.”
Clearly.
“I never could stop,” Christian adds.
A new song starts playing and the eyes I noticed looking at us a few second ago finally start looking away. “We can figure out the whole Ms. Santana, Amari, Mom thing later, but can I steal my daddy for this song? It’s my favorite.”
I nod. Stunned by her words. Her honesty. The way she makes things that seemed so complicated be so simple. “Don’t worry, he’ll be back,” she adds and then he’s letting go of my hand and walking with her to where a dance circle has appeared in front of the makeshift stage.
I stand there, my mind foggy about everything that’s taken place.
“You didn’t want to talk earlier, but we’re definitely talking now,” Emely says, coming out of nowhere. Of course she saw everything. My best friend doesn’t miss much.
EPILOGUE
A little over a year later
PART I
AMARI
The doorbell rings and I leave the kitchen and head to the door. “Hi,” I greet Christian’s mom.
“Hey sweetie,” she gives me a kiss on the cheek. “How’s it all coming together?”
“Thanksgiving is a big responsibility!” I tell her. Last year, we got to do Thanksgiving at her house and everything went so well. This time around, we offered to do it at our place. Yes, ours. Because Christian, Ari, and I now live together. We moved into my old childhood home. It took a lot of begging to get Christian to put his house on the market, but mine was bigger and we would need the space.
“Don’t I know it. I’m glad I get to pass it on to you,” she laughs. “I brought some wine.”
I take the bottle from her. “We’ll be needing that for sure,” I tell her.
“So where are Christian and Ari?” Ms. Cole asks as we start making our way to the kitchen.
Oh yes. Those two. “I kicked them out of the house while I finished getting things ready. They’re picking up my mom and dad at the airport.”
“Oh! Yes. Christian mentioned they were coming.”
“Did he tell you he was the one who invited them?” I ask.
She smiles. “Your parents were really kind to him when you left.” Apparently, while I was gone, Christian met my parents. He did some work at this very house, on the back deck. They invited him in for a snack and they got to talking. They even met Ari and had them both over for dinner every so often. When my parents called Christian out on asking too many questions about me, he told them what was going on. Everything that went on with us.
I was again mad at Christian for a little bit. I was even furious with my parents, but that didn’t last. My parents didn’t know about Christian back in high school because I kept him from them for fear of what they’d say when they met him. They wanted to let my choices be my choices, but I guess they understood why I wasn’t coming back home more than I thought. They said the reason they didn’t sell the house was that they hoped I’d come back. They hoped Christian and I made our way back to each other.
To say I was surprised is an understatement. I guess that’s how Christian kept tabs on me after all.
“Yeah, Christian told me all about it. My parents did too when they found out we were back together.”
“How did they find out you guys were back together?” she asks.
I give her a knowing look. “Your son.”
“That’s my boy,” she replies proudly.
Ms. Cole takes a seat at the kitchen table. “So, big news tonight, huh?” she asks as I check on the turkey in the oven for the millionth time today. I really want to make sure everything’s perfect.