He pulls away and brushes his thumb across my lips before placing one last kiss and whispering, “thank you.”
D is sitting on my bed in tears, and I haven’t got a clue what I’m supposed to do. I’m standing here like an idiot, just watching as she falls apart, and she hasn’t uttered a word since I opened the door, and found her tear stained.
“What’s going on, D? Tell me how I can help you,” I say, fidgeting on the spot as I bounce on the balls of my feet.
“Bradley s-s-said no. I c-c-can’t come with y-y-you.” It’s strange hearing someone else stutter, especially when it’s Daria.
“I can’t believe he won’t let you come, but I don’t understand why that would make you so distraught.”
She takes a deep breath, wipes frantically at her face. Trying to stop her tears and wipe them away at the same time.
“It’s been so different this year, ever since I saw him at the retreat. Things have changed and I don’t know what to do. It feels like he’s getting bored with me, and I didn’t think it would happen. I thought he loved me, that he wanted to see where this could go.”
“What did he say?” I take her hands in mine as I sit beside her on the bed.
“He said he doesn’t like shopping and he’d rather stay here, and I guess that’s okay. I just… it feels as if we are growing apart and I don’t know how to stop it.” Her bottom lip is trembling again, and I can see more tears forming in her eyes.
“Maybe you should just talk to him, tell him how you are feeling and see what happens. I know you knew him before coming here, but it was a long time ago, people change, girl. It doesn’t mean you won’t work, but maybe it won’t be the way you first pictured.” Is that the right thing to say? Fuck, I have no idea.
“Yeah, I will. Thanks, homegirl.” She nods her head and gives me a watery smile as she stands and gives me a weird little wave.
“Hey, D.” She looks at me with a smile and I just let my words pour out of me.
“Sometimes, I really hate Emmet.” Her eyes widen at my sudden change and her head tilts to the side slightly.
“Not that long ago, me and Emmet got into something. I told him he needs to be more than he is now because I deserve nothing less and he told me I’m not worth shit. I couldn’t believe it, all I said was that I deserve nothing less than him being a better version of himself, more than what he is now at least. I don’t know why I expected any different.” My shoulders slump forward and her hand falls away as she climbs to her feet.
“Luna, Emmet is right.” Her words have my head springing up. I can’t believe she just said that. Really? Damn, girl, you really are moronic at times.
“How can you say that? You agree with him.” I shake my head, hoping it will help to chase away the confusion that I’m feeling at her words.
“You are in Harkwright Academy. In this, place you aren’t worth anything. We’re here for their entertainment and pleasure. Just because a few of them have given you attention, doesn’t mean you’re better than everyone else here.” Her voice is rising and I don’t understand why she’s getting so worked up. “If we were anywhere else, then yeah, I’d think that was awful, but we’re not. You signed away your right to having your feelings hurt when you hit submit. It’s about time you realized that. Besides, what Emmet said is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Maybe you should re-evaluate what you allow to hurt you.” She picks up a vase and throws it across the room, and I can’t help but jump at the impact.
“D, what’s wrong? Why are you being like this?”
“Because you’re not the only one with problems, Luna. And sometimes, it’s more than just having more than one guy want you. For fuck’s sake, I jumped at being your friend because you’re nice and considerate, but this new Luna doesn’t care about me. You’ve asked me a couple of times what’s wrong, and that’s it. You didn’t even put in a lot of effort, even now. I’m sitting here in tears and you turn it back to your mercurial problems in no time, yet I’ve been here for you through everything. Without a single complaint, and I’m falling apart, Luna. I am drowning and you haven’t even realized.” her voice cracks as her eyes shine.
I stand up and she moves away, her eyes narrowing on me. “I can’t do this right now, I need to leave.”
“D, I…”
“I’m asking you to leave me alone, or can’t you respect that simple request?” I step back as my heart splinters, and I watch her leave my room. I’ve been a terrible friend. What if I can’t fix it?
There’s only two days until Christmas and classes are over until January. It’s hard to keep busy, but D and I have been making homemade decorations and hanging them in our rooms. I have also been baking like crazy, Christmas cookies and pudding. I’ve even made my own custard to go with it.
A knock sounds at my door and I run my hands over my black blouse and dark brown leather pants. I’ve put on the leather jacket as well, but I have no idea if I’ll be warm enough. Snow is in the air, I can smell it, and if it does come down, I know I will freeze my ass off.
I open it to find Tucker standing there in a pair of jeans, black shoes, and a dark pea coat. He gives me a slight smile as I leave the room, and he places his hand on the small of my back as he leads me down to the car.
We climb in and buckle up, the car pulls away from the Academy, and starts to wind down the road until we come to the security gates. They’re still as foreboding as when I first arrived, and it’s not surprising that no one ever tries to break in.
We drive for longer than I can count and I don’t have a watch or anything to keep check of the time, but it feels like this journey is going on forever. It doesn’t help that he is yet again on his phone, and Darius keeps staring at me through the rear-view mirror.
“Are you physically attached to that thing?” I blurt it out and he slowly lowers it to his lap, locking the screen, before shifting to look at me.
“How much time did you spend on your phone before you came here?”
“I didn’t, I’ve never had one. It was a payphone or nothing, and we would only use that when it’s absolutely necessary. We didn’t even have a landline or an internet connection.” I can’t seem to stop talking and he screws his face up as he stares at me like I’ve grown another head.
“You’ve never had a phone? That’s insane. How do you chat to your friends or make plans with people?”
“My friends are in the Academy, D and Maddox. It may be pathetic, but I’m not a social butterfly. I’m an introvert and keep myself separate from others. Except from my mom and Poppy. I’ve been picked on a lot in life because of my stutter, and it’s easier to not get to know people.” I close my eyes, honesty is great, but I hate how I always seem to share more than I want when I’m around him.
“Fair enough. Although, I’d suggest you get one sorted when you leave here. So you can keep in contact with them.” His screen lights up and frown lines appear on his face as he stares at it intently.
“Is everything okay?”