He pulls back and smiles down at me and then the wolf whistles start to pierce the air.
“The mighty Tucker kissing a girl. This is a surprise,” calls out Jake, and his voice is enough to ruin this moment for me.
“Fuck off, Jake, and mind your damn business,” he shouts back, before he takes my elbow and leads me up the stairs.
“Hey, you. That was a surprise,” I say, and it’s coming out a lot more breathy than I intended. Not that I intended to say it in a breathy voice or anything.
“Well, what’s the point in keeping it hidden? I’ve already broken two of my rules since you came on the scene,” he says dismissively, and I can’t help but wonder what other rule he broke for me.
“You don’t have to break your rules for me, I don’t want you to change who you are.”
“I’m not, but sometimes rules have to be changed or at least adapted, it’s the way life is. It doesn’t concern me, so don’t let it bother you. Besides, I’ve had a crappy couple of weeks. Being back here is surprisingly relaxing,” his arm winds around my back, until he pulls me closer.
We walk into my room, and I place my baked goods on the side. I’m glad he’s back, and I guess I’m also happy he’s going to keep me to himself. A part of me hates it, but I do like how it simplifies matters. This way, Aeron won’t be hurt anymore than he already has been, and that whole harem matter can be laid to rest. It was ridiculous to even consider it, those things are only meant to happen in books. It could never happen in the real world. Could it? No, and I need to stop thinking about it. It’s over and done, finito, dead in the water. All of those marvelous ways to say it’s never going to happen.
Great, now I’m rambling in my head, is that a sign of insanity or not? I’m a little unclear of what the signs are. Shit, I’ve been quiet too long, I need to say something. What am I going to say? Argh.
“So, did you have a productive time?” Why do I feel so lame lately? Everything I say sounds so stupid out loud.
“I guess so, I just wish things could be simpler at times. I wonder if I wasn’t a Harkwright if I’d still be having all the issues I am now. Then again, I wouldn’t be in this situation if I wasn’t, and I’m not sure that would be a good thing either. What about you, how was New York?” He sits down on the sofa and leans his head back against the cushions with his eyes closed.
“It went okay, although they made it clear they didn’t think I would get anywhere. Apparently, a hundred k isn’t enough to get started with. They make it sound like it’s pocket change, and yet, to me, that is a lot of money to be walking away with. I know I won’t have it all, but surely there would be enough so I can open my bakery wherever I choose to do so.” I need to lower my voice, and stop getting so worked up about this.
“You’ll figure it out, Tiny One. If anyone can, it’s you. Don’t worry about it yet, you have a whole year until that can be your new reality, I’d enjoy the dream instead of being weighed down by everything that could go wrong.” He really has that much belief in me, be still my beating heart. That may be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. And it came from Tucker. The one person who always manages to slay me with his words.
“Thank you, I don’t think I realized how much I needed to hear someone say that to me.” I sit down beside him and watch how his lashes flutter against his cheeks. The way his chest moves steadily, and the slight smile gracing his lips. I shouldn’t stare, but I can’t help myself.
“I can feel you staring at me, stop being a creeper.” His smile turns more solid, and I can’t help but chuckle under my breath.
“How can you even tell?”
“It’s a gift of mine,” he says in a sleepy voice, and I run my fingers through his hair. He sighs and shifts until his head is resting on my shoulder.
“Do you want to lie down in my room?”
“No, I’m not tired. I’m just going to lay here for a minute or two.” His voice is heavy with sleep and it isn’t long before his breathing turns shallow. I just stay like this, running my fingers through his hair, and wondering what is happening here.
It’s been two hours, and I’ve only just figured out how to extricate myself without waking him up. I hope he’s been sleeping okay while he’s been away. I’ve never known him to fall asleep on me before, I think I kind of like it. It makes him seem more vulnerable, it’s definitely not a side of him I’m familiar with.
A knock sounds at my door, and I rush to answer it so it doesn’t wake him up.
“D, hey. Are you okay?” I ask, and she shakes her head.
“Can I come in for a minute?” she asks in return, and I open the door fully, and point to my bedroom.
I write a quick note to let Tucker know that I haven’t gone anywhere, before joining her and closing the door.
“Sorry, I didn’t want him to wake up,” I sigh. I stand against the door, and she sits on the bed, staring at her nails.
“It’s okay, I didn’t realize he was here. This will teach me to turn up uninvited.”
“You are always welcome here, invite or not. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel differently.”
“I hate this, Lu. I’ve lost Bradley, Jake, and you. I have no one else here, I just feel so alone.” Her head falls into her hands, and I move to sit beside her.
“I remember the feeling well, but you still have me ,D. Even if I’ve done a terrible point of showing that to you. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone here. You were so good to me when we first met, let me be here for you. Please.” I place my hand on her back, and she relaxes beneath me.
“That decision I was struggling with, it was whether I should sleep with Bradley. It didn’t feel right, and now I know I was right. I should never have given myself to him. He just threw me away like yesterday’s trash.” Her voice is shaking, but she wipes at her face to look at me. “It has me questioning everything. I thought doing that was the biggest mistake I’d ever made, but what if it wasn’t? What if I chose wrong when I listened to him years ago? Lu, what if he turned me away from the best guy I’d ever known, and I chose wrong all those years ago?”
“What do you mean? I thought Bradley was your first love?” I ask, as I rub soothing circles into her back with the palm of my hand.
“He was my first boyfriend, but he wasn’t my first love. I’ll skip over the boring details, so here are the cliff notes for you. I had this guy who was my best friend until my feelings turned deeper. I was going to tell him how I truly felt, when Bradley told me that he didn’t like me in that way. That I was nothing more than a sister to him, and he was already fooling around with other girls. I was thirteen, and it broke my heart. But instead of asking him, I believed Bradley. I didn’t want to risk embarrassing myself, but what if he lied? I ruined a friendship because of what he said and now, I’m second guessing every decision I ever made.” She looks at me with sad eyes, and my heart is going out to her.
“You can’t do anything about what happened in the past, D. I wish you could, but hindsight is evil.” We both share a laugh at that one. “If only you could ask your old friend, at least so you could get a bit of closure. Is that even a possibility?”