“I mean, I guess so. But it’s been so long, won’t I just be making a fool out of myself?” she asks, and I don’t want to say no because I don’t know what he would think.
“I can’t say, but if this is something that you feel you need to know, then what is a little embarrassment compared to clarity? Do whatever feels right to you, that’s the only advice I can give.”
“Thanks, Lu, I appreciate it.” She smiles and then her eyes dart to the closed door. “Soooo, what is going on with you and the guys? I feel so out of the loop.”
“I don’t even know where to start, but let’s see. Tucker claimed me and told everyone that he isn’t going to let me go before graduation. So, Emmet made a joke about having a harem and then flipped a lid when Tom and Tucker didn’t say no to the idea. Aeron professed his love to me and has since avoided me like the plague. Oh, and I told Tom I loved him when I thought he was asleep, but it turned out he wasn’t. And then, he threw it back in my face when we argued over me not risking my future just to have a few moments with him. Seeing as Tucker suddenly decided he wasn’t up for sharing me after all.” Wow, I feel a little breathless after all of that.
“First of all, that is a lot to process. Secondly, damn, girl. A harem? Now that’s the stuff romance novels are built on these days. Could you imagine having one filled with Harkwright guys? At least your babies would be pretty.” I push at her shoulder and she swats me away.
“Oh, yeah, about that… I kind of have a thing for someone else as well.” Even though this room is soundproof, I still whisper that part.
“Shut the front door. Who?”
“Darius, my bodyguard. He is so perfect, D. he makes me feel normal, and he listens to me. I know it’s wrong, I just wish I could switch my feelings off. I’m relieved he isn’t around, to be honest. It just complicates things even more.”
“Oh, homegirl, what a tangled web you weave. Please tell me that sums it all up though. Because my head can’t take anymore.” She’s smiling now, and I’m so glad.
“Pretty much, I had a boyfriend for a while, until I realized what love really felt like. The breakup didn’t go to well. And now I have to avoid a certain area of this place.” I look up at her through my lashes, as she gapes at me.
“Let’s save that one for next time, I’d hate for Tucker to walk in and hear any of this. Thanks for talking to me, Lu. I’ve really missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I reply. Then we hug and cry together, and suddenly all is right with the world.
I wake Tucker up with a chicken risotto, and he practically inhales it. He is wasting no time tucking into it, and it’s nice to see someone enjoying my cooking. It always fills me with a warmth, and a sense of satisfaction.
“You’re going to make people fat, I can just see it. You’ll have people lining up for days to try your food,” he says simply.
“I’m not knocking it. But why are you being so nice to me?”
“I got to spend the day with my favorite person before I came back here, and it always puts me in a good mood. Even feeling as tired as I do cannot ruin it. Don’t worry, I’ll go back to my usual self in no time.” He winks, and I stick my tongue out at him.
“I don’t mind how you act, Tucker. Although, I won’t lie, I do like this version. What do you like? The old me, or the one I’ve been recently?”
“A mixture of the two. Confidence suits you, but you wouldn’t be Luna if you didn’t stutter and blush furiously. I guess most people would find it endearing, I just see it as you.” He finishes off his food, before clearing his plate away, and then he leaves it in the sink.
“Who are you in love with, Tiny One?” he asks with his back to me, and he’s knocking me off kilter.
“Why would you think I love anyone?”
“Aeron said so. Apparently, it’s obvious. I hadn’t noticed, but I have been preoccupied since being here.”
“Tom.” It comes out in a sigh, and he turns to look at me, before nodding his head.
“Do you want me to release you, so he can claim you?” His voice is devoid of emotions, and his shutters are well and truly in place.
“No.” It comes out rushed, I didn’t even need to think about it. “Maybe a month ago, I would have said yes. Now though, I feel so much and it isn’t just with him. It’s confusing, and I don’t need to make it harder on myself. Maybe it would be easy to be with him, but I can’t pretend that he’s the only one I would want.” Does that sound bad?
“I’m not okay with the whole harem idea, and I’m not willing to share. I do understand it must be hard for you, though. So you don’t need to fear being caught doing anything against the rules. I won’t have you kicked out, not if you actually love the fool.” It’s gruff and hard, and I can feel water pricking my eyes.
I get to my feet and walk over to him. I place my plate next to his in the sink, before palming his face.
“I’m only with you, Tucker, and it isn’t only because of the rules. I’m happy with this.”
“Okay, I’ve got to go back to my room for a while. Don’t forget to wash up.” He smirks and then leaves me standing here. He is such an arrogant asshole.
It’s been three days since I told Tucker I’m happy to just be with him. Emmet isn’t back yet, neither is Tom, but I think Aeron may have stayed behind. I want to come up with a reason to speak to him, but I can’t think of anything, or at least, anything good.
I sit in the canteen during a study break, and I seem to be the only one here. Aside from Aeron, and I guess that is why he is on my mind. D is in class and I have no idea where Tucker is.
“Hey, Little Zero, it’s been a while.”
“Hey, yourself, how have you been?” It feels like I’m having a conversation with an ex, that’s how uncomfortable this is.
“Not too bad, I’ve been meaning to speak to you, actually. I just didn’t want to do it with an audience.” His eyes glance around the empty room as he says it.
“I’m free now.” I pat the seat beside me, and he takes it with another quick scan of the room.
“I know you are aware of how I feel, but there is something else you need to know. Nothing happened that morning you found me in One’s room. I didn’t go with any other girl while you were mine. She gave me the option. I just didn’t take her up on it. I should have said something before.” His hands fall on top of mine, and I don’t pull away.
“Why didn’t you, Aeron?”
“I wanted you to think that something had happened. I was self destructing, and I didn’t like the way I was feeling about you. You’ve met my mother. Why would I want to put anyone through that ordeal? Even worse, I wouldn’t want anyone to be stuck with a screw up like me. I thought I was doing the right thing, and now I don’t have you, and every other girl pales in comparison. So yeah, it turns out I’m faithful, even when I have no reason to be.” He laughs sardonically, while shaking his head.
“Selfishly, I hate the idea of you being with anyone else. You’re not a screwup, though. You are capable of so much, and I’m still here for you. I always will be, even if I can’t be with you. Just know, given the choice. I wouldn’t choose, I don’t think I could.” He leans his cheek against mine and we sit here like this.