After cleaning the kitchen, he pulled me by my hand. “Come on.” I followed him into his bedroom, glancing around at the simple furniture, the bookshelves overflowing with hardbacks and paperbacks, the small desk with a laptop sitting open on top, the bed made up with a navy comforter and a stack of pillows against the headboard.
Gabriel led me straight to the bathroom, where there was a large tub. He ran the water and I took a seat on the side, rolling up my yoga pants and swinging my legs over. I laughed. “This is definitely something I’ve never done.”
Gabriel grinned as he rolled up his jeans and stepped into the tub, kneeling. I laughed again. “You’re getting your jeans all wet.”
“I don’t care. Sit back. Let me pamper you.”
I leaned against the wall, watching him as he took the cover off a new disposable razor and lathered his hands with soap. I sighed. Just the feel of soaking my feet in the warm water while I relaxed felt so good. He rubbed the soap gently on one leg, and I watched his hands slide over my skin. I couldn’t help thinking of the work he did. This is what the puppies and rabbits and cherubs must feel like. Cared for. Cherished. Brought to life. This is what all those flowers and leaves and twining vines that used to be square lumps of rock must feel like. Set free. Renewed. Made beautiful beneath his capable hands.
I swallowed, the moment suddenly feeling so poignant, so intimate, so erotic as his hands glided down my legs, massaging gently until I moaned. I saw Gabriel’s Adam’s apple move as he, too, swallowed. His expression was so focused, so intent on what he was doing.
He glanced at me as he picked up the razor, and his pupils looked slightly dilated. It occurred to me that this wasn’t only the first time he’d touched my skin with his hands. This was the first time he’d touched any woman. Tenderness exploded in my chest as I watched him drag the razor slowly up my leg. I felt breathless.
The razor moved gently up my skin, and his fingers followed behind it, ensuring he didn’t miss any spots. The knees of his jeans were soaked now, but he didn’t seem to notice. Steam rose in the air, and I realized I’d never been touched this way. Not once. Not ever. Caressed. Loved.
Gabriel rinsed the razor and turned the leg he’d shaved from side to side, assessing his work the way he did when he sculpted. His fingers moved to my anklebones and then down to my feet, where his hands massaged me lovingly. It felt so good I moaned again, longer this time. Gabriel’s eyes shot to mine, looking slightly glassy. “You’re so beautiful, Eloise. Every part of you.” He ran his finger over my anklebone again and up the arch of my foot. “You’re a work of art.”
A work of art.
I’d been told I was beautiful before. I’d been told I was gorgeous, sexy, irresistible, but somehow I’d never allowed those words to penetrate. They’d just been … words. It was as if they’d sat there on the surface of my skin. But I felt Gabriel’s words seep through my pores, into my blood, and deep to my bones. Right into my soul. I felt his words as if they were a benediction. And he’d only been talking about my ankle.
Butterflies fluttered in my tummy, and my clothes felt too tight, my skin too sensitive. With every movement, my T-shirt brushed over my nipples and made them feel tight and achy. A steady drumbeat of arousal was vibrating in my core, and my underwear was wet and too restricting.
“Gabriel,” I whispered. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to come up out of the shallow pool of water and lean over me and kiss me and then scoop me up and bring me to bed, but I didn’t know how to ask.
It looked as if he was turned on, too, so why didn’t he? He didn’t have to wonder if I was on birth control. He knew everything about me in that regard after caring for me while I’d been too sick to care for myself. What was it? What was stopping him? Did he worry if I was clean? If I slept with the men from the club? That I was tainted? I had made lots of stupid choices in my life, but I’d never been unsafe. Should I reassure him of that?
Or did he hesitate because of his own inexperience? Was he worried I’d say no? That he wouldn’t know what to do?
He ran his lathered hands up my other leg and then dragged the razor up it as well. I wanted to arch my back with the sensation, suddenly so overstimulated, I thought I might just slide down into the water and kiss him myself. Uncertainty assaulted me, though, and so I sat motionless as he finished the job and then rinsed my legs and my feet, standing and stepping out of the tub where his soaking wet pants dripped on the bathmat.
He grabbed a towel, and when I swung my legs out of the tub and over the side, he blotted them dry.
I watched his face as he did so, and he looked so intense, so focused. I thought for sure he was going to ask me to stay the night with him or that he would make a move of some sort. And so when he leaned up and kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “Good night,” I froze and blinked.
Gabriel stood and walked stiffly out of the bathroom. I followed, whispering, “Good night, Gabriel,” as I passed him at his bedroom door. I hesitated a couple of seconds too long, giving him a chance to ask me to stay, and we both stared at each other for several beats before I turned my head and walked out. I heard him release a shaky breath behind me.
I returned to my room and took a cool shower and then got in bed, still feeling frustrated and confused. As I lay there in the quiet, I realized that I didn’t know what it was like to want like this. I’d never experienced it before. I’d never even known what wanting was, not really, and I was suddenly … amazed. And something warm and tender moved through me. Oh God. Gabriel had given this to me. And though it made me feel slightly crazed, it also made me feel powerful and alive.
I sat up in bed, a slow smile moving over my face as I gathered the sheet to my chest. Was he waiting for me to be ready? Was it another gift Gabriel was trying to give to me? The experience of knowing I wanted a man and offering myself to him, rather than only ever being taken? But wasn’t it the same for him? I groaned. Of course it would be just like Gabriel to have been ready for weeks and to be waiting for me to know I was ready, too.
I got out of bed, nervous and unsure, and yet filled with a yearning so strong I was consumed with it.
I opened the door softly and stepped into the hallway, looking at his closed door. My nerves were like a buzzing in my veins, and I almost turned back, but I gathered my courage and walked quickly to his door, turning the knob and stepping inside.
His room was dim, the only light on next to his bed. He was lying under a sheet, his chest naked, with a book in his hand. When he saw me, a worried frown came over his face. He sat up on one elbow. “Ellie? Are you okay?”
I nodded jerkily, my heart beating so loudly, it seemed to echo in my ears. “You’re reading—”
He laid the book aside. “No.” He shook his head. “I’ve read the same sentence fifteen times now.”
“Oh …” My voice came out in a croaky whisper, and I cleared my throat. Gabriel was so still, waiting. “I want you,” I said in a whispered rush of words. “And I thought maybe you might … want … too.” I swallowed, pressing my palms against the closed door at my back.
A look of such raw tenderness came over Gabriel’s expression that I stopped breathing for a second before my breath resumed in a quick rush of air. I wanted to drink that look in, to make it part of me forever. “I do,” he said. “I do want … too.” His small, crooked smile, filled with love and a glint of teasing, made my shoulders relax.