My eyes drift to Viv and then slowly back to Sawyer. “You’re both adults.”
I see the hint of guilt in Sawyer’s eyes, and even though I knew he cared about Ash, I didn’t realize he was human. He always seemed like a cocky asshole. He turns to look over his shoulder at Viv. “I’m gonna go.”
She nods her head slowly at him. “I’ll see you soon.”
His confidence is back as he squeezes her much smaller hand in his and winks at her. “Yeah, you will.”
The smile on her face is full of both hope and sorrow before he places a quick kiss on her lips and gives me a wave before exiting through the front door.
“Sorry, Viv. Didn’t mean to ruin your night.”
She shrugs her small shoulders and takes a seat on the couch. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t . . .” She smooths her hair down. “I didn’t mean to lose control like that.”
I take a seat next to her, intrigued and still high from my conversation with Hayden earlier. “You did with Asher too, right?”
Her right eyebrow lifts in a question. I know I'm being totally inappropriate, but whatever. We’re family, and maybe I'm tired of holding back so much. “What exactly are you asking?”
I bite my bottom lip and then slouch back into the couch. “No offense, Viv, but you and me . . . we’re kind of cut from the same cloth. Wealthy, spoiled, uptight, perfect girls.”
She doesn’t object as she thinks that over and leans back next to me. “Yes?”
“But you . . .” I turn my head to look over at her, “you somehow let go. I guess our parents would say you ‘acted out.’”
“You mean sleeping with Colt and getting knocked-up in high school?”
I nod my head and smile. “That and then, you know, sleeping with Asher when he was living with you.”
Her eyes didn’t show pain when she talked about getting pregnant young, but I definitely see the anguish in her eyes when Asher is mentioned. “Yes. I don’t understand what you’re asking though.”
“What made you let go and just do what you wanted to do?”
Her head finally pivots to face me, and she tilts it slightly, showing understanding. “I just did it. I don’t know how to explain it. With Colt . . .” I know I flinched when she said his name, and she places her hand on my shoulder gently. “With him, it was like the perfect storm. We were both these seemingly perfect beings who were close to breaking, and we just used each other.”
“And with Asher?”
I hate the pain his memory causes her. “That was different. Wrong. So wrong. But so right too.”
My heart aches for her. I know she loved my brother. Maybe she still does. “And Sawyer?”
She smiles, her cheeks blushing slightly. “Sawyer was definitely a surprise. I didn’t expect to like him. He’s not sweet or really all that nice.”
I laugh. “Not at all.”
She laughs with me, not offended. “No offense to your brother, but after Asher, you would think I would go for someone sweet and attentive, you know? But—”
“That doesn’t turn you on.” I interrupt.
“Not at all.” She smiles and then shrugs. “But Sawyer is different.”
“Than Asher?”
She nods, and I think things are going to get awkward if it’s a sexual thing, which has me slightly concerned. “He wasn’t sure he would be good at a relationship, but he wanted to try anyway.”
“He had the balls to be with you.” I smile. “Hot.”
She giggles and then sighs. “Very.”
“Asher . . .” I suddenly feel the need to defend my brother, but I don’t know what to say. She drops her hand from my shoulder and looks straight ahead.
“Asher doesn’t want a relationship. He was very clear about that from the beginning. I was stupid and fell hard for a boy who didn’t want me.”
I don’t know how to comfort her. “I think he does.”
I watch her swallow the sadness. “It was primal with Asher. Sexual, but . . .”
“No real feelings?”
She faces me again, her face sad. “I don’t know. We cared about each other.” She repeats herself again sadly, “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry Viv. You seem happy with Sawyer though.”
“It’s nice with him. Kind of comfortable, but not in an unsexy way.”
I nod. “Are you guys serious then? Like officially?”
She shakes her head from side to side. “No. We’re still taking it slow.”
It didn’t seem too slow when they were going at it on my couch, but I don’t disagree as we sit there in a comfortable silence for a minute.
“Why the questions about losing control?”
My mind immediately goes to Hayden. “I’ve never allowed myself to do that. Everything has always been according to plan.”
“I highly recommend letting your hair down and just going after what you want in the moment.” She laughs softly. “Just make sure you have some sort of protection.”
I laugh at that and my eyes drift toward the hallway leading to Sebastian’s room. “It worked out for you.”
“Absolutely.” She smiles with pride, and I lean my head on her shoulder.
Maybe I’ll take her advice though and finally let loose.
“You’re kidding, right?” I straighten my back and try my best to remain professional as the red chairs for the hotel bedrooms are delivered and Gretchen stands with one hand on her hip with her judgmental bitchy face staring at Hayden.
“Do I ever kid?”
Hayden’s voice is stern, and I fight a smile when Gretchen’s mouth turns from scowl to pout.
“It’s too bold, Hayden. It will turn guests off.”
“It’s fucking red. A dark, classic red.” Hayden’s eyes don’t meet mine, instead they stay on Gretchen. “It was a good call. Otherwise the rooms would be all gloom and doom.”
I feel a sense of pride but don’t say a word, which is not my style as Gretchen huffs and brushes by me, her shoulder making quick contact with mine as she throws her hissy fit.
Hayden and I are left alone in one of the suites. His eyes stay trained on the red chair in the corner.
“Do you actually like it?” I move to stand next to him, enjoying his expensive cologne far too much. “Or do you just like riling Gretchen up?”
He turns to face me, his lips pulled in the slightest grin. “Both.”
I smile. It’s been two weeks since our candid discussion in this same hotel, and we’ve both been all business since. Although, we haven’t spent much time alone. Most of our conversations have been through emails.
“It looks good.”
“The rooms are nearly complete.”
He nods approvingly. “Restaurants are next.”
“I’m ready.”
He smiles and my eyes subconsciously move to the scar on his hand I can’t stop thinking about.
“Lola.” His voice is deep and commanding as my eyes lift.
“Yes?”
“I’d like to take you somewhere tonight. Are you free?”