He scoffs, and I see the walls he’s trying to put up. “That shit is over.”
“No, it’s not. You’re both hotheads, and you’re both pissed for your own stupid reasons.” He’s not smiling now, his grin having fallen as soon as Asher was mentioned. “I know how much you cared about him, so for you to betray him . . .”
“I didn’t fucking betray him.”
I hold up one hand. “You went out on a date with Viv.”
“Yeah, like a half a year after he told her he would never commit to her. He tossed her to the side, made her feel like she was nothing to him.”
Oh, he has it bad. He stops talking, and I clear my throat and study his face. I don’t think this is just a pissing contest like I initially thought. “You really don’t think she meant anything to him?”
“I don’t know. All I know is we were all friends. They stopped fucking. We all were hanging out, and then somehow, I ended up alone with Viv a few times and . . .”
“You really care about her, don’t you?”
“I’m a fuckup, Lola.” He shoots me a pained expression that makes my stomach hurt. “I don’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt Asher. I wanted to fucking tell him before I even went out on a date, but Viv was hesitant. She wanted to see if there was anything between us first.”
That’s exactly what I would have done too. But it may have done a lot more damage than good.
He reminds me so much of my brothers. “He’ll forgive you.”
He cocks his head to the side, not believing me. “No. He won’t.”
He might be right. “You aren’t a fuckup, Sawyer. You’ve done some bad shit, but who hasn’t when they’re young and dumb?”
“Not you, Lola Sterling.”
I smile at that and shake my head. “I’ve done plenty of damage. Just don’t hurt her.”
“I won’t. We’re taking it very slow.”
I raise my eyebrow and nod to a purple hickey on his neck. “Not all that slow.”
He grins and covers the spot with his large hand. “I won’t hurt her. And I don’t even know what last night really meant anyway.”
“Don’t cheat on her.” He has a reputation, and we both know it.
“Not possible, Lols.”
I move back to pick up my coffee and take a sip, looking over my mug at him. “And why’s that?”
“She doesn’t want commitment. At least not yet. So, there’s no way I could cheat.”
“She doesn’t want commitment? Or you don’t want to commit?”
He takes his own mug of coffee in his hand. “We aren’t there yet. Taking it slow.”
“Fucking other people?”
Unbelievable. I swear. They’re all going to kill me with their blatant stupidity.
“If we want to, yeah.” He shrugs casually, and it’s infuriating. I hate standing by, knowing people I care about are going to get hurt, but what can I do?
Like Viv said, their happiness is up to them.
Even if they’re being fucking idiots.
“You’re really okay with her sleeping with someone else? And she’s fine with you putting your dick where you like?”
Okay, so I'm still not great at staying out of it.
He takes a drink of coffee, but I noticed him cringe slightly when I mentioned her with someone else. “I’ve never done the commitment thing. Not really, Lola. We have to take it slow or I’ll fuck it up. She knows it, and so do I.” He takes another drink. “And besides, I’m not sure she really wants only one dick at this point.”
“So it’s casual.” It’s not. I see the way they look at each other. There are feelings there.
“Yes. It’s casual.” Liar.
I sip my coffee, deciding this is not my battle. “Okay. Just be careful.”
He nods. “I will.”
“Make her some breakfast though. She deserves to be spoiled.”
He grins and gives me the “aye aye, captain” salute with his hand. “Yes, ma’am.”
I roll my eyes and go back to my room with my coffee. I take a shower and get ready for the day, saying a quick goodbye to Viv and Sawyer, who are sitting together at the kitchen table eating when I go outside through the side door to check on my flowers before I leave. I hear a car approach and walk to the front of my house, gasping when I see my youngest brother climbing out of a car at the end of my driveway.
No.
Asher walks up my driveway, swinging a bag over his shoulder and looking broody and pissed-off as usual. I meet him halfway and look back toward the front door, where Sawyer and Viv are inside.
I turn to face Ash. “What are you doing here?”
He looks at me like I’m insane. “I’m taking your advice and being a good uncle. I miss the fuck out of Baz.”
I feel awful, seeing the loneliness and sadness in my little brother’s eyes. “I’m sorry. Of course. I just meant you didn’t say anything about coming to visit.”
“I thought it was an open invitation?”
“It is.” I want him to know that he’s always welcome. “It’s just . . .” I look nervously at Sawyer’s car parked on the street.
When I look back at Asher, his eyes have followed mine, and they darken, looking up toward the house. “Sawyer’s here.”
It’s not a question. He knows. And it breaks my heart.
“Yes.”
His jaw tightens, and I see darkness brewing, battling with the light. This is why I didn’t want him and Viv together because of this look on him . . . He looks way too much like our father.
“I’m not here to see either one of them. I’m here for Baz.”
Great. I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes. “Baz isn’t here.”
The fury inside him only intensifies. “What the fuck do you mean he’s not here?”
“He’s at Mom’s house. He stayed the night with her.”
He scoffs, and I hate the bitterness I hear in his tone. “So they could fuck? That’s great. Why did he have to go to Mom’s? You couldn’t watch them while Sawyer spent a couple of minutes inside Viv?”
“Asher . . .” I hate when he gets like this.
“What?”
“Viv is a good mother, and you know it. Don’t do that.”
On the outside, I know he seems like a grown man, but my brother has so much growing up to do. “I never said she wasn’t.”
“I know, but it kills her to be away from Baz. She didn’t just pawn him off on Mom so she could get laid. She let our mom take Baz so Mom could spend time with him. She trusts few people with that kid.”
He looks vulnerable as he swallows tight and grits his teeth. “I miss him.”
I pull him into a hug, trying like hell to comfort him. “I know. He misses you too. A lot. He talks about you every single day.”
Asher hugs me back, holding me to him. “When is he supposed to be home?”
“I’m not sure, but we’re all supposed to have dinner together, so you’ll come over for that. Okay?”
He releases me and tries to steel himself, trying like hell not to show any emotion, but I see it. “Okay. But not with fuckface.”