My hand rests on Hayden’s lower back, uncertain of what to say. “I’m so sorry. I thought she would at least give you a chance.”
His body turns to face me, his head tipping down as he uses his finger to lift my chin up. “I’m happy to be here with your family. I don’t do anything I don’t want to.”
I don’t completely believe him. Part of me knows he’s here for me. I keep my voice low, staring into his eyes, “We can make a break for it. Grab wine and run.”
He smiles, looking behind me at the table. “I think I'm done running.”
My chest flutters with hope, which should frighten me, but he kisses any fear away with the briefest meeting of our lips, and then he takes my hand as we make our way to the table. I sit down, and he sits between my mother, who’s at the end of the table, and me.
Tony sits at the other end, and Vivienne takes a seat next to Baz across from Hayden. Everyone fills their plates, and my mom turns to Hayden. “How did you find Penelope? If you’ve never met. How did you know to look for her?”
I don’t want him to be uncomfortable, but he doesn’t seem to falter. “I was looking for our mother.”
“You hate your mother, though,” Asher says as he takes the slice of turkey off his fork with his teeth, staring him down, not trusting him.
Not surprising.
“I do.” Hayden again does not flinch. He turns back to my mother. “She wasn’t a mother, but she was still my mother. I guess curiosity got the best of me.”
My mom nods. “Where you come from is important.”
Lincoln hasn’t said much, which, depending on his mood, isn’t really that odd for him. He stares at Hayden, studying him. “Why didn’t you just come and knock on our door? Tell us who you were?”
“What’s the fun in that?” Asher snorts as he takes another bite, the bitterness in his tone heartbreaking to me. I look at Baz, who’s none the wiser to all the tension at the table as he drinks his chocolate milk happily, humming a song to himself in his own little world. He reminds me so much of Asher at that age, carefree and happy until his teen years, a couple of years before all our lives changed forever.
I sometimes wonder what I could have done to keep him that carefree kid.
“Asher,” I warn, “Hayden is here as my guest not someone else for you to punish.”
His shoulders shrug. “Oh come on, Lols . . .” His head tilts to the side, and I want to kick him, but I remember I’m an adult nearing thirty. “Hayden here looks like he likes it a little rough.” He nods to Hayden’s eyes, still purple from my fist.
I cringe. My mother didn’t mention that when she was looking at his face earlier, and Asher didn’t say anything until now. For some stupid reason, I really thought it was going to slide by.
“I can take anything thrown at me.” Hayden’s eyes lock on my little brother’s. “Especially for her.” He looks at Lincoln. “My mother was awful. You being with Penelope, I'm sure she’s told you stories. Since she was in foster care, I'm certain our mother was the same with her. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know her or her to know me.”
“So, you lied,” Asher states simply.
“I did.” Hayden’s eyes turn to me.
“I’m glad you did it that way.” Everyone at the table is quiet, but I don’t care if they hear this conversation or not. “If you’d have knocked on their door and told them you were her brother, that could have been it. She may have shut you out forever, and I wouldn’t have gotten to know you.”
Asher groans and I look to him. “Who the hell are you?”
“Can you please not teach Baz any more fun words?” Vivienne speaks up, her back straight, but she isn’t looking at Asher. I don’t think she really can yet.
Asher smiles down at Baz, softening only for him. “Sorry buddy. That’s a ‘no no’ word.” Baz just goes on about his dinner, ignoring the boring adults, but then Asher’s anger comes back to me. “You’re saying you are totally fine with him lying? Getting into your pants and then revealing this huge secret after the fact?”
“Asher,” My mom sounds exhausted.
But I’m going to handle him. “He didn’t lie. He hired us for a job. One we were capable of handling. He had every right to get to know her.”
“By lying,” Linc adds.
“Are you still lying?” Asher asks, taking a drink of a beer he doesn’t need.
“No,” Hayden answers quickly and firmly. “Everything is out in the open.”
“I believe you.” I smile at him.
I smile at my mother when I hear her voice. “So do I. Not everything is black and white in this world, boys.”
“Peas are green.” We all turn to Baz, who seems to have tuned in. He looks up at Asher. “I still don’t like peas, Uncle Asher.”
I see Hayden grin and feel him relax next to me as I smile at Baz. Asher laughs, mussing his hair. “I don’t either, buddy. Not at all.”
Vivienne is still extremely tense and takes a bite of peas. I think Lincoln is trying to help when he looks at Ash. “I think we’re supposed to encourage him to eat his peas.”
Oh great. Here we go. Why the hell can’t we just have a normal dinner without these two trying to tear each other apart?
Asher’s smile seems happy, but you never know with him. It’s usually deadly. He tilts his head and looks at Linc, pretending to talk to Baz, when he’s really talking to Lincoln. “Uncle Linc loves to eat P. I bet he could all night.”
I cringe and glare at Ash as he uses Penelope’s nickname in a crude wordplay. Linc growls, “Damn straight. Every night.”
Of course, Baz doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, just scrunching his little nose, thinking Ash is talking about the vegetable he despises. “Yuck.”
“Yuck is right,” my mother says.
I look between my brothers. “Really? Our mother is here.” I nod to Hayden and Penelope’s brother.”
“Her maybe brother,” Asher is quick to add, tipping the beer in his direction.
Hayden doesn’t take the bait, and my mother clears her throat. “Okay. Subject change.” She turns to Asher. “How long are you staying?”
Baz’s little head turns to Asher. “Always.”
Shit. Bad subject, and my mother flinches, knowing her mistake.
Asher looks down at Baz, ruffling his hair. “You know I have to go back to Kansas soon.”
Baz shakes his head, and I feel horrible. “No. You stay with me. Don’t go.”
Vivienne and Asher’s eyes meet briefly as she places a hand on his little arm. “He’ll call you, sweetie.”
Baz jerks away from his mom, folding his little arms. “It’s not the same!” He looks at Asher. “Don’t go.”
“I’m not going anywhere tonight, buddy. Okay?”
Baz is smart and knows what that means. “You don’t go ever.”
I see the heartbreak on Asher’s face, and it shatters me. “I have to.”
Baz jumps up from the table. “I’ll go with you then.”