“Well, thanks.”
“But I had a talk with them about being too aggressive with you.”
I shook my head. “That’s unnecessary. If I want to play like one of the boys, I have to be treated like one of the boys. I can handle an elbow to the face or stomach or being knocked on my ass once in a while. Really not a big deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me.” He took another drink then looked out the window.
“Well, that’s sweet.” I’d never met a man so gorgeous and so kind at the same time. He was easy to talk to, easy to connect with. It was the first time I’d had a conversation with a man that was enjoyable without leading to sex. Just being with him…was fulfilling.
He glanced at his friends at the table. “Looks like they’re hitting it off.”
I turned when Kat laughed loudly at something Nathan said. “You can join them if you want. I should probably get home anyway.”
He turned back to me. “I’d rather talk to you. I see those assholes all the time.”
“I feel like you see me all the time too.” I’d seen him several times that week, and I’d see him tomorrow night as well.
“Really?” he asked. “I feel like I don’t see you enough.”
My heart started to ache all over again. Was he purposely making this hard for me? Making me want him even more than I did before?
He spoke again before I could dwell on what he said. “I think they’re getting along pretty well.” He glanced at Kat again. “Maybe this is the beginning of something.”
“Is Nathan a playboy? Just looking for a fling?”
“Not necessarily. If he really likes a woman, he does the relationship thing. So, it just depends on how well he likes her.” He took a drink. “You know, not all men are serial playboys only after one thing. There’re a lot of guys out there who want monogamy, a deep and meaningful relationship.”
“Not the hot ones,” I said with a laugh.
He cocked his head slightly.
“Why commit to one woman when you don’t have to?” I asked. “Men are all the same.”
He swirled his glass, the scotch spinning around. “I respectfully disagree.”
“Well, I haven’t met one so…”
His eyes narrowed, and he stilled his glass. “You’re looking at one.”
I released another chuckle, assuming it was a joke. “Come on, Dax. I saw that gorgeous woman all over you, and you ditched her without thinking twice about it.”
He was still for a long while, like he needed time to process what I said. “I literally met her five minutes ago. She was our waitress, and when she got off work, she joined us and bought me a drink. Doesn’t make me a playboy.”
I wasn’t sure why we were arguing about this. “Just forget I said anything.” I grabbed Kat’s glass and took a drink.
“No.”
Now I stilled, unnerved by the authority in his tone.
“I was a loving and committed husband in my marriage. I didn’t even look at other women. Yes, there were offers left and right, opportunities that never would have made it back to my wife, but I remained faithful because I made a promise. I’m a man of my word. If I say something, I mean it. My fidelity wasn’t just based on loyalty and obligation either. I simply didn’t want to be with other women. I was happy…at the time.”
Now, I felt like shit. “Dax, I’m sorry—”
“I know you’ve been burned pretty bad. I get it.” He raised his hand slightly. “But I’m not him. My boys over there—” he nodded “—they aren’t like that either. Not all men are sneaking around in the dark, looking for the next opportunity to be a faithless piece of shit. There are good men out there. I’m one of them. So, I’m not going to sit here and let you stereotype me as some serial pussy-chaser.”
Fuck, I’d really messed this up.
“Yes, I fool around, hook up, live the bachelor life. But when I find a woman I really like, I step up.” He grabbed his glass and downed the rest of it in a single drink, his eyes furious.
“Look…I’m sorry.”
He wouldn’t look at me. “I’m going to cut you some slack and forget this conversation happened next time I see you.” He turned back to me. “But you need to move the fuck on. You left that piece of shit a year ago, and you’re allowing your entire view of the world to be based on one jackass. My wife was a fucking piece of shit who took me for one hell of a ride, but I know not all women are like that.” He stared at me, nostrils flared, his eyes darker than before. “I know you aren’t like that.”
I closed my eyes, feeling lower than dirt.
He slammed his glass down and slid out of the booth. Without saying a word, he walked out and left the bar.
I sat there, feeling like shit, feeling absolutely terrible. I dragged my hands down my chest, felt the pit in my stomach grow, and then forced myself out of the booth to go after him.
The guys and Kat all turned to us, knowing something had happened.
I looked up and down the sidewalk until I saw him, about to cross the street to the next corner. I walked quickly in my heels, not making it through the crosswalk in time and choosing to run the red so I could reach him. “Dax.”
He stopped when he heard me. He took a breath before he slowly turned around and looked at me, his eyes still angry. His hands slid into his front pockets, and he stared me down.
I’d been so focused on chasing him down that I didn’t know what to say when I finally caught up to him. “I’m really sorry about everything I said. You’re right. I was being a jackass. I’ve been such a jackass since we met. I…” I took a deep breath and let my eyes fall, feeling vulnerable for the first time in a year. “I really, really like you. I haven’t—”
His hands slid into my hair as his chest pressed to mine, his mouth landing against mine. In the middle of the sidewalk with people walking by, he kissed me like we were alone in a dark room. His arm wrapped around my back, and he tugged me closer, giving me the best kiss of my life. His masculine hands held me against him, his eager lips made love to mine, and he seized me like I belonged to him.
He pulled away just as quickly as he’d rushed me. “You want me? Then you better fight for me. Because I’m not going to wait around forever, Carson. Either move on from the past and try with me…or I’ll move on and all we’ll ever be is friends.”
Fifteen
Carson
I sat in the armchair in the living room, holding a beer on my thigh even though I hadn’t taken a drink. Time passed and the evening grew later, but I stared at the blank TV screen, unsure what to do with myself. I had work to do on my laptop, emails to write, a life to live.
But I was frozen to the spot.
I kept reliving that conversation over and over again.
It made me cringe.
Charlie walked inside, in gym clothes because he must have gone out for a workout. He immediately left his shoes by the door and moved farther into the apartment. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
He grabbed a water from the fridge then looked at the contents inside. “What do you want for dinner?”