Once I was outside, I made my way over to my truck and climbed inside. I started the engine and gripped the steering wheel as I took in a deep breath. The realization that I was taking Eve to the dance washed over me.
I’d done a good job of forgetting what had happened between us at the dance studio. But now, sitting here and preparing to go see her, all of those feelings and desires washed over me. Hearing her telling me to touch her. Her putting my hands on her waist. Her staring up at me with those big, dark eyes...
The desire that coursed through my veins had felt hot, like lava.
For a moment there, that desire had melted away my determination to stay away from her. I could barely remember my name, let alone the reasons I was supposed to keep my distance. Everything in me had ached with the overwhelming need to pull her into my arms, to give into the feelings that I had for her.
In that moment it had all seemed so clear. So simple. Eve was the air that I needed to breathe and no matter how hard I tried to stay away from her, it was impossible.
So why fight it?
Without her next to me, I was lost. Even now I felt like something was missing. Like I was wandering and aimless without her at my side.
For a moment there, I’d very nearly forgotten my promises, forgotten the future I’d been working so hard for… For a moment there, I’d forgotten everything but Eve.
But then we were interrupted and cold, harsh reality had returned with a sickening rush. Trenton, my promise, my plans to leave town as soon as I graduated...they hadn’t gone anywhere. I might have forgotten them when I was holding Eve in my arms, but they came back and hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks.
The moment passed and I was left right back where I’d started. I owed it to Trenton and her family to stay close and keep her safe. And yet, having her near was torture. I knew I couldn’t have her but I wanted her. It was this strange push and pull sensation that left me confused and broken.
And Eve seemed to pick up on that. How much she understood, I didn’t know. But from the way she talked, the way she acted, the way she forced me to touch her…
She knew I wasn’t immune to her touch, she had to see that I was affected by her presence.
She had to realize what she did to me.
Except, I was beginning to think that she’d been misreading my reactions to her this entire time.
Am I that repulsive to you?
I flinched at the memory of her words as I met my gaze in the reflection of my truck’s rear view mirror. The fact that she thought I felt she was repulsive made my heart break and I desperately wanted to correct her. I wanted her to know what I thought of her, but how could I do that without breaking my promise to Trenton?
I was standing in the middle of the two of them, being pulled in both directions. I wanted Eve. I wanted every part of her. But I’d made a promise. And I needed to be the guy who kept his promises. I needed to be the kind of guy my mother wanted me to be, who Trenton believed I could be…the kind of guy who might someday deserve a girl like Eve..
Right now, being a good guy and seeing through my promises was winning out over my desire to be the guy who dated Eve.
She was worth more than a convict’s son or a jock with anger issues.
I wasn’t the kind of guy she deserved. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
I let out a huff of frustration. If I kept up this train of thought, I’d be out of the truck and bailing on this dance any second now. I started the engine and drove off to Eve’s house. After all, I’d made a promise to take her to this dance, and I was a guy who kept his promises.
It didn’t take long before I was parked alongside the curb, staring into the lit up windows. I took a deep breath and climbed out of the truck. There was no way I wanted Mr. Lawson to find me in the same spot he had a few weeks ago.
Even though butterflies were assaulting my stomach, I made my way up the walkway and to the front door. I was mid-knock when the door opened to reveal Mrs. Lawson and her extremely wide smile. I took a step back. Her enthusiasm surprised me.
“Cooper!” She reached out and grabbed my arm. She then positioned herself behind me and began pushing me into the house. “Eve just finished up and will be down in a minute. You can wait inside.”
I was already standing in the foyer when she finished her last sentence. It made me chuckle. Mrs. Lawson was a go-getter. She rarely asked and waited for anything. And with the way I was feeling lately, the indecisiveness, it was nice to have someone make all of my decisions for me.
I listened to Mrs. Lawson as she talked about dress shopping and Eve’s hair for the next few minutes. The mindlessness that came from this conversation was helping me relax. But one glimpse of Eve as she descended the stairs and my entire body tensed again.
My lips parted as my gaze locked with hers. Her dark hair was pulled up, exposing her fair skin and long neck. She was wearing a light blue dress that didn’t have lots of frills. Instead the fabric was soft and laid against her body perfectly. Her long legs were accentuated from her heels and I only allowed my eyes to linger there for a moment before I dropped them to the floor in front of me and swallowed hard.
This was a mistake. A huge, colossal mistake.
“Eve, you look beautiful,” Mrs. Lawson said as she linked arms with me.
Her touch startled me and I brought my gaze over to study her. Had she sensed my desire to leave? That any second, I was going to sprint away from here and never look back?
“Doesn’t she look beautiful?” Mrs. Lawson asked as she peered up at me.
Realizing that she expected a response, I brought my gaze back to Eve and held it there for a moment. The ache inside of my chest was almost more than I could bear. Of course, Eve was beautiful. She was kind and sweet. Seeing her with the women of Hazelcrest had almost broken me. And then watching her stand in front of me, begging me to touch her—talk to her—it took all my strength not to pull her into my arms and show her exactly what I thought.
“Yes,” I finally said. It was one word. One utterance from my lips, but it meant everything. Everything that I wanted to say was wrapped up in that response. I clenched my jaw as Mrs. Lawson seemed satisfied with my response and began puttering around Eve, adjusting her dress and fixing a ringlet that had come loose from her hair.
No one seemed to notice how my response had affected me. Or that I’d basically declared my feelings for Eve. No one, except Eve. She was studying me with her eyebrows drawn together and an intense look in her eyes.
My entire body heated from her stare. Did she know? Had I made a mistake?
Thankfully, Mrs. Lawson took over the situation and demanded that we stand together while she took a picture. I kept my distance from Eve as I stood next to her. It was hard to smile, but eventually, I faked it enough to satisfy Mrs. Lawson.
It only took ten minutes before Eve declared that she was done and we left. The ride to school was quiet. I kept glancing over at Eve, wondering what she was thinking. Did she want to talk to me? Should I talk first?
My mind was swimming as I sat next to her. By the time I pulled into the parking lot and killed the engine, I was an emotional wreck. There was no way that I was going to last the night. I might as well throw the towel in now.
Eve didn’t move to climb out of my truck. Instead she sat there frozen like a statue. I studied her, wondering what she was thinking and fearing that she would tell me at the same time.