Breakfast. We’d gone to the diner for breakfast and she’d barely poked around at some eggs and a little bacon. We didn’t get dinner after she’d finished dancing the night before either, just went straight into the hospital to see Speck, so she's only eaten that breakfast in the last two days.
She must be fucking starving.
“Angel, listen to me and listen good because I’m only saying this once. You’re going to start taking care of yourself right the fuck now. You’re going to tell me you’re hungry when you need food and you’re going to stop taking the fucking high road. I’m not a fucking mind reader.”
She half nods and shoves the last of the burger in her mouth, glancing at the one I made for myself.
“Eat it. I’ll get another one when I’m done in the shower.”
By the time I get out of the shower, Angel is asleep in my bed with nothing but my hoodie on. It’s a fucking tempting sight and I have to force myself out to the kitchen to eat something. I’ve barely had an hour's sleep in the last two days and I’m running on fumes. Keely and Hawk have taken the night shift with Speck to give us the break because they both know how long and hard Rue and I have been working.
Here’s hoping Rue is actually getting some sleep too and not just obsessively watching Poe breathe through her bedroom window like a psychopath.
I eat in the kitchen so I don’t get dragged into having a drink with any of the guys here. They’re all used to me drinking and partying and fucking my way through any situation the club is in so there’s no doubt there’ll be questions if I go straight to bed.
I couldn’t care less.
At this point, I’m sure half the guys already know I’ve been ‘struck. Axe sure does but he’s been good about keeping his mouth shut, probably thanks to all of the death threats I sent him when I put him on Angel duty.
When I get back to my room, Angel is still asleep but thrashing around a bit. Fuck. I can’t remember the last time I slept next to someone and that shit doesn’t look comfortable. Her arms keep flailing about and her legs are kicking… looks like she’s fighting some asshole off.
I don’t like that.
Not one bit.
I climb in the other side and try to get comfortable, not touching her in any way because I’m proving to her that this isn’t just about the good sex.
I’m just a little pissed she said the sex was just good.
She fucking gushed, the wet spot on my bed was a fucking lake, that’s more than just good.
It takes me a good hour to fall asleep but when I finally do, her body calls to mine like a silent siren’s song. I only know that I’ve reached out for her when a strangled scream lets out of her throat and she scrambles away from me, straight off of the bed and onto the floor.
My brain is still half-asleep but even dumb, deaf, and blind I’d know exactly what the fuck that reaction meant.
Someone’s hurt her. Hurt her real bad.
My mind goes fuzzy as my rage tries to win out over the hazy sleep.
She’s barely awake as she pulls herself up into a sitting position against the wall, her chest heaving and her hands clawing up her arms like she’s trying to gouge my touch out of her skin. This high-pitch keening sound starts up but the wild and frantic look in her eyes makes me sure she has no control over it.
“Angel, it’s me. I’m not going to hurt you, sweetness.”
The nickname slips out.
This entire fucking thing has caught me off guard.
I’ve gone from wanting to hate fuck her right out from under my skin to wanting to break any man that’s laid hands on her in anger before.
She’s still freaking the fuck out so I carefully, and slowly, get up off of the bed and walk over to the bathroom to grab some pants and clear my head.
I get her cleaned up with a warm washcloth. Her fingernails are destroying the skin of her arms, gouging at her own flesh like she’s trying to dig something out.
I’m done messing around.
I’m finding this motherfucker and I’m killing him.
Slowly, after I’ve cleaned her up and tucked her into my chest, her breathing evens out before turning into quiet sobs.
I can’t handle that either.
“You’re back then? I’ve been trying to get you to talk for over an hour.”
Her voice comes out in a little whimper. “I’m—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
I cut her off because the thought of hearing her lies right now has my gut churning with rage. “Yeah, I get that. You gonna tell me who the fuck I’m killing for this?”
She tenses in my arms but I don’t let her go. I’m not going to either, not until I have some answers. “You told me we were going to wait. I just… I need more time.”
“Angel, you’ve got to fucking answer me. Where was your old place, who did you live with there? Thorn said you told Alby it wasn’t this one hurting you so who was it?”
She turns to press her face into my chest a little more and I have to focus on my anger at the claw marks up her arms not to just say, fuck it, and spread her out. “I told you I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Thank fuck. “Then who kicked you out?”
She shakes her head. “No one, Tomi, please. I’m so tired, I just want to get some sleep.”
I try not to fucking yell because that’ll only have us going backwards. When I stand up and tug her towards the bed she pulls away from me.
“It’s the bed. I can’t—I can’t sleep in it. I’m sorry, I’ll take the couch.”
Fuck that.
I grab her hips pushing her towards the bathroom. “Just go get a glass of water.”
When she’s gone I pull everything off of the bed and onto the floor. I’ve slept in a lot of questionable places in my life, spending a night on the floor won’t fucking kill me.
Hell, I probably won’t even notice.
“What are you doing?” she whispers and I ignore her, lying down amongst the pillows.
“Get your ass down here. No, you’re sleeping right here where I can hold you. Right. Close your eyes and stop fucking thinking.”
It hasn’t taken much to notice she does best when I give her firm instructions. Clear and to the point, it’s like her brain switches off and she just gets her ass moving.
Her heart races when I get her bundled into my chest but it doesn’t take long before she’s asleep, her body finally relaxing fully and the thrashing over with.
I sleep like the dead.
So does Angel.
Maybe we were made for each other.
Chapter Twenty Five
Angel
It doesn’t matter how many times I try to sleep in the bed with Tomi, we always end up on the floor.
He pointedly doesn’t ever try to initiate sex and it’s suddenly all I can think about around him. His shirts just get tighter and tighter as the nights go on until I feel like I can count every last one of his abs.
Yup, he has a six-pack and one of those Adonis belt ‘V’ things that look photoshopped in photos.
It’s wildly unfair, especially now that sex seems to be the last thing on his mind.
I wonder what it would be like to be with him and then sleep together afterwards? What it would be like to finish and not feel… dirty afterwards.