Jesus.
The last night before he leaves for the run, I wake up on the floor again. Tomi’s arm is under my head like a pillow and the thin blankets from the bed thrown over us both, my face is pressed into his chest and his chin resting on the top of my head as he tries to soothe me. I’m shaking so bad that his arms are the only thing keeping me from vibrating all the way out of the damn room.
This is getting fucking shameful.
“It’s okay, sweetness. Everything is going to be okay.”
His voice is a slow, soothing sound and the rasp of it speaks of a shitty night of sleep.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble and his arms tighten around me.
“Don’t start with that shit, Angel. The only thing I need you worrying about is telling me who the fuck did this to you. I’ll fucking end the gutless cunt.”
The trembling gets worse and a sob bursts out of my throat, no matter how hard I try to swallow it. His arms turn to stone around me, crushing me to him as I dissolve into sobs, tears sliding down his chest as I just break the fuck down.
I’m waiting for him to get angry and leave, just walk out and forget about the stripper that was hot enough but too much fucking work. I mean, he’s gotten the notch in his belt from fucking me already. What else is he around for?
“Angel, sweetness, please stop crying. I can’t fucking take it, I’m gonna fucking kill every man you’ve ever fucking met if you don’t stop soon, baby.”
I can’t stop.
It’s like the dam has broken and now all of the tears I refused to cry when I ran away are flooding out of me. I try to pull away but he doesn’t let me, just pulls me into his body even tighter so we’re as close as two people can get. Fuck, it’s as if he wants to absorb me completely until we’re one person.
My dad used to say my mom was the other half of his soul and being together was as close as a man came to feeling whole again.
I don’t know why that popped into my head.
Fuck.
I can’t handle him holding me like this on the off chance this doesn’t work out because when he knows everything he’s going to hate me. I need him to stop right the hell now. “I’m fine. I just—I need a second. Let me go clean up.”
“Angel, you’re shaking too fucking much to get up. Just go the fuck back to sleep and we can sort it out tomorrow.”
I settle down a little but his words come back to me.
You’re mine.
Maybe I am his, maybe I can trust him and when I tell him everything he’ll be… okay. He’ll still want me.
When my phone pings and wakes me a few hours later, I wriggle away from him to see who the hell would be messaging me.
Your truck is done! Tell Tomi to let you out from your tower for the night and come get her.
I let out a sigh and text her back, a smile on my face.
“Should I be fucking jealous over who’s making you light up like that or what?” Tomi grumbles and when I glance down at him, he’s frowning and scratching at the shadow of a beard that’s starting up on his face.
“My Chevy is fixed. I can grab her on the way to work tonight, Poe’s going to bring me the keys.”
He huffs and sits up, his back popping and crunching. I wince, it’s my fault he’s gotta be feeling sore. It must be guilt because I say to him, “It was my dad’s truck. It means a lot to me.”
He tenses up a little but doesn’t make any other reaction. “Oh yeah? It’s a beauty, ’69?”
I nod and pull my knees up to my chest. “Yup. It was his baby, I got it in his will. He died of cancer when I was nine.”
He nods and stands up, holding out a hand to help me up. I take it and let him pull me up, pulling me into his chest. He’s only got a pair of boxers on, all of his tattooed skin on display and I kind of feel like he’s teasing me with his nakedness.
“Listen, Rue is staying home to keep an eye on things while we’re gone. He’ll be splitting time between the hospital and The Boulevard. Axe will be there for all of your shifts too, so you go to either of them if anything is up. Anything at all, Angel. Promise me.”
I nod and when he swoops down to kiss me I push up on my tiptoes to meet the kiss. Jesus, the first time he’s doing something and I’ll be late to work if we do anything more than just this kiss.
He groans into the kiss and pulls away from me, grabbing a box from his desk and handing it over to me.
“What’s this?” I say but the box is clearly holding an iPhone.
“I need to be able to get hold of you while I’m gone. Keep it charged and on you.” He pulls away from me properly and grabs up the bedding from the floor and throws it all back on the bed.
“I can’t afford this kind of phone, I can get a cheaper one,” I mumble and walk into the bathroom for a shower.
He walks in behind me. “I added you to my plan, take it. We’re talking about where the fuck all your money is going when I get back Angel, no excuses.”
I shrug and fuss with the hem of my shirt before I lift it over my head. I’m a stripper for fuck’s sake and yet here I am, blushing like a fucking virgin because his eyes drag over every inch of skin on show as I stand there in nothing but a pair of skimpy panties.
He grabs my hips and drags me in close to his body, his eyes focussed entirely on my nipples. “When I get back we’re talking about it, Angel. We’re talking about the money, your ex, who the fuck beat you, and where the hell you’re living. Non-negotiable. I’m going to your new place and I’m setting up security there, I’m sleeping in your fucking bed, and we’re going to figure this shit out.”
I tilt my head up to meet his lips when he leans down to kiss me. He’s gentler this time, still commanding and brutal but the sharp edge is missing. Like maybe this time he’s not trying to punish me, only possess me.
My legs are shaking before he straightens up. He reaches up and cups my cheek, stroking a thumb across my skin and staring at me like he’s trying to memorize every detail of my face before he goes.
It makes my heart thump in my chest in fear.
Where is he going that he thinks he might not make it home?
“You’re coming back, right?” I croak, my voice all gravelly from his kiss.
He smirks at me and rubs a thumb over my bottom lip. “Course I am, sweetness. Can’t get rid of me that easy.”
I smile at him and then, on instinct alone because I have no real clue on how the fuck to flirt with him, I suck his thumb into my mouth and watch as his pupils blow out wide, swallowing the brilliant blue of his irises. He groans and shoves me back into the tiled wall, one hand grabbing at my face to keep my mouth locked around his thumb and the other sliding down to cup my pussy through my panties.
“We don’t have time to finish this tonight, sweetness, but when I get home I’m gonna give you something to swallow. Fuck, this pussy is everything a man could ever want and it’s mine, you hear me? If you’ve been lying to me about having an old man you better lose him before I get back. When I’m home, we’re making this shit official.”
I can’t speak around his thumb so I nod slowly. I’ve never felt this way about a man before, I’d never had the chance, and maybe he hasn’t been the kindest or the sweetest choice but he’s the only one I’ve ever wanted.