“Then maybe a Motlander would be a better match for you.”
“You mean someone like Oliver or Lachlan?” She reached for a pancake and tore it in half before picking off a small bite. “No thanks. When I marry, I want us to have a sex life and I’m not turned on by their type either.”
“Then what is it you want?”
“It’s hard to explain because even though I resent it when a man tries to control me, at the same time I fantasize about a confident man I can have wild sex with. I’m not like Aubri, I don’t want to be the aggressor in bed.”
I was just about to take another bite of pancake but lowered my fork. “You think Aubri will be aggressive in bed?”
Freya shrugged. “She has always tried to outdo the men so I wouldn’t be surprised if her sexuality was dominant as well, but that’s just me assuming. For me, I’m searching for a unicorn.”
“What’s a unicorn?”
“Oh, it’s an expression. A unicorn was a type of gorgeous horse that had a horn on its forehead. You sometimes read about them in literature and see them in old movies. They’re believed to have died out. The same seems to be the case for men who fit what I’m looking for. The Nmen are too bossy and demanding while the Motlander men are too gentle.”
“All of them?”
“At least the ones I’ve met. Nmen are raised to take charge and lead. And the worst part is all their ideas about what a woman should and shouldn’t do. If I marry one of them, I’ll have to set my foot down daily and fight for my right to be independent. The thought alone is exhausting.”
“So what are you going to do?”
Freya lifted her shoulders and hands in another shrug. “For now, I’m choosing not to think about marriage.”
“But last time we met, you and Aubri said that your families were getting impatient and that they were pushing you to find husbands. It’s been a year and a half. I can’t imagine things have gotten any better.”
“They haven’t.” Freya sighed and gathered her brown locks of hair in a makeshift ponytail that dropped as soon as she let go. “I’m hoping that one of the others will marry soon and take some of the pressure off me. I’m crossing my fingers that Thor will hurry up and marry a sweet Northlander bride. It would appease the traditionalists in our country. Maybe then I could be free to marry who I want.”
“If you can find him.”
“Yes.” She swallowed another bite of pancake and looked down. “If I can find him.”
“Or you could do like us French and not marry at all.”
Planting her chin in her right hand, Freya looked at me. “I hope it doesn’t end with that because I want a family. I grew up seeing how my parents are best friends and I want that for myself.”
“Then don’t give up hope.” I straightened up a bit. “You just have to find someone like Jonah. He’s that perfect blend of intelligence, confidence, and kindness. I always thought Mila was lucky to find someone like him.”
“You think Jonah is hot?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “Sort of. Obviously, we stay away from romantic entanglements at home since it’s banned. But after listening to you and Aubri talk about your future husbands since I was twelve, I think you should go for someone like Jonah. He’s handsome, warm, and intelligent.”
“Hmm.” Freya thought about it. “I don’t see Jonah being aggressive in bed though, do you?”
“Not exactly. He seems like a gentle soul.”
“My point exactly. What I need is a wise and mature Motlander outside of bed to be my best friend, but an Nman as my lover.”
“Then who would you marry?”
Freya laughed. “You’re so sweet, Belle. You didn’t think any Nman would agree to be my lover, did you? I told you they’re controlling and possessive. They want the whole package.”
I thought about how wrong she was. Mason had made it clear that he couldn’t marry me and all there would ever be between us was sex and secrets.
With a grin Freya pushed at my shoulder. “Can I tell Jonah that you think he’s hot? It would make his day.”
I laughed with her and was happy that I hadn’t told her about my secret attraction to Mason. “I doubt Jonah even knows my name, Freya. He’s a powerful council member who is married to the love of his life. Why would my opinion matter one bit? And it’s not like I’m lusting after him. All I’m saying is that if you don’t like Northlanders, then your best option is someone like him.”
“Are you done?” Freya asked with a nod to my half empty plate.
“Yes, thank you. It was delicious.”
With a speculative expression, Freya took out our plates and rinsed them off.
“What? I can see your mind is cooking up evil plans. Spit it out.”
“Belle, have you ever considered moving?”
I played with my fingers, noticing that my nails had grown too long. Working with babies, I tried to keep them short to avoid ever scratching one of the little ones by accident. “I’ve told you, Freya, it’s not possible. With our limited number of citizens, every person counts. Remember I told you how our government was originally afraid that the summits were a way for the Motherlands to lure away some of our brightest people? That’s why they made the Motherland Council sign a contract to guarantee that we would always return home after gatherings. They even made the five of us swear our loyalty in a public ceremony.”
“You were twelve, Belle, and you had no idea what the world had to offer back then.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the sink.
“Besides, my father never signed an agreement like that. You could stay here if you wanted to.”
I shook my head. “No one has ever moved away. If I did, I would be considered a traitor and my government wouldn’t allow Celeste, Victor, or the others to come to these summits ever again. They’ve always been suspicious of outsiders to begin with.”
“But how can they trap you like that? You should have your freedom to leave if you wanted to.”
Feeling the pressure of the national loyalty that had been ingrained in me from early childhood, I looked down and muttered, “I don’t want to leave. Old Europe is home to me.”
She studied me for a long second. “Be honest, Belle. Between you and me, could you never see yourself live somewhere else?”
I didn’t answer because there was no reason to dream about things that would never come true, no matter how much I wanted them to. Then I asked, “Could you?”
“Yes.”
“But you like it here, don’t you?”
“Of course, but I could see myself being happy in other places as well.” Wiggling a finger at me she tilted her head forward. “What I could never do is live in a country that didn’t support my right to personal freedom and love.”
I got up from the chair and moved to the sofa. The conversation was draining to me. “Love. What does that even mean? You Northlanders have such a weird concept of what you think love is. In the rest of the world we don’t associate love with romance. I love every single one of the babies that I care for. I love my friends. You never hear the Motlanders long for romantic love, do you? They form deep friendships and that’s enough for them.”