“I’m curious, Mason. How are you holding up? It must have been scary for you to crawl through that tunnel,” Doreen asked and waited for my answer with her head tilted to the side in what I reckoned was her expression of empathy.
“I’m an Nman. We don’t get scared.” It was utter bullshit because I’d been scared shitless. I would just rather suffer someone ripping off all my fingernails than admitting to that out loud.
“Fear isn’t weakness. It’s meant to help you survive,” Victor pointed out from his position at the dining table where he sat with a chessboard in front of him. He hadn’t participated much in the session and his game with Lachlan was long over. Now he was playing himself, it seemed.
“I’ll admit that I get scared.”
Aubri, Thor, and I all gaped at Indiana, who had raised his hand and spoken.
“Good for you. That’s the spirit,” Doreen praised him enthusiastically. “This is a safe place and none of us would ever think less of you for expressing your fears. They’re natural.”
Harper leaned closer. “Can you tell us what scares you?”
“Sure.” Indiana scratched his beard. “My fear is that we’re going to sit here all night talking about emotions. Actually, it’s like something from my worst nightmares.”
I laughed and shoved his shoulder. “Fuck, you had me worried for a moment there.”
The Motlanders didn’t look amused and scowled at Thor, Indiana, and me for laughing.
“We’ve told you before. It’s very unhealthy for you to cling to your toxic masculinity. Men have as full a range of emotion as women do, but you’re insisting on pretending that you don’t just so you can live up to some artificial standard of bravery,” Holly preached.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. What about Victor, Simon, and Isaac? You haven’t heard them share their feelings much, have you? Are you going to yell at them too?” I asked.
Holly turned to the French. “What’s your position on toxic masculinity?”
Victor gave a bored side glance. “I don’t have one. If the Northlander men want to act all macho, I don’t give a shit. Nor do I care that Lachlan and Oliver are hiding behind the women most of the time. Each to his own.”
“But do you encourage boys to be emotional in Europe?” Harper inquired.
“Ask Belle. She works with children,” Celeste suggested.
“I work with babies and hand them over when they’re a year old. We don’t think much about gender at that point.”
“Good, you shouldn’t. Gender doesn’t matter,” Holly pointed out.
Thor cut through. “It does to us. We raise boys to be boys and girls to be girls.”
Holly raised her brow. “But what about those who don’t identify as either?”
Thor played stupid and antagonized her, “What do you mean? Either they are born with a dick or without.”
“Oh, sweet grace, I can’t believe how limited you people are – to press innocent children into outdated gender roles that will make them grow up and oppress those who don’t fit into your traditional view on what’s right and wrong.”
“Hey, we don’t oppress anyone. Up here people are free to live the way they want to, unlike in the Motherlands where you still wrinkle your nose and point fingers at people who choose to live a full life.”
“A full life? And what’s that supposed to mean?” Holly and Thor were going at each other, and I exchanged a smile with Indiana because one of our favorite things in the world was to mess with the Motlanders.
Thor squared his shoulders. “A full life means freedom to drink alcohol, swear, fart, burp, and have a family.”
Holly raised her arms and opened her mouth as if she was about to argue her case but then she gave a sigh of resignation. “I’m not even going to try and reason with you, Thor. Your views are so antiquated and irrational that all I can do is give thanks to the border wall between us.”
He pointed to his chest. “I’m the irrational one?”
“Yes. To think that you’re the son of the great Pearl Pilotti is beyond me.” She shook her head.
“Ahh, and there you go again, bringing my mother into this even though I’ve told you every year not to do that. Do me a favor, Holly. Next time you read a steamy novel or see a horror movie, think of me, will you?”
“I would never pollute my soul with a horror movie. And I don’t read steamy novels. From what I understand they’re supposed to make you feel aroused, so thinking of you would defy the purpose.”
“Holly!” Doreen clasped a hand to her mouth. “That was highly offensive.”
Holly’s shoulders sank. “Yes, I suppose it was. My apologies if I hurt your feelings.”
Thor scoffed. “You couldn’t hurt my feelings if you tried. I don’t bone my bear thinking about you either, so we’re good, but the fact that you could read a steamy novel or watch a horror movie if you wanted to is because of us Nmen. We inspired Jonah Cervici to fight for freedom for his people. You Motlanders can even get drunk in restricted places now. None of that was possible before we influenced your council to put some more trust in their citizens. So, don’t talk like you’re the progressive ones and we’re old-fashioned when it’s the exact opposite.”
I almost wanted to applaud my future ruler for taking on the hypocrisy of the Motlanders, but before I had a chance to support Thor, Freya rose from her chair.
“It’s such a treat to hear both of you argue with passion. You do your nations proud. But maybe we got a bit off topic and since it’s getting late, I wanted to ask if anyone else feels the need to share their emotions about yesterday’s unfortunate event.”
Everyone was quiet, except Thor, who pushed out from the wall he’d been leaning against. Crossing his arms, he rocked back and forth on his feet. “I just want to say that yesterday was a great example of why Nmen should rule the world. We don’t leave anyone behind.”
The Motlanders exchanged glances and Doreen muttered low, “Unless we talk about gender neutral people.”
“What was that?” Thor narrowed his eyes. “We would have gone out in that storm to save any of you, even Holly and Victor.”
“Hey!” Victor frowned and rose up in his seat. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, come on, you know you’re fucking annoying.” Thor threw a hand through the air and glared at Holly, silently saying that so was she.
Getting up from his chair, Victor moved around the table and walked closer to Thor. He wasn’t as tall as any of us Northmen, but he was the tallest of all the French and Motlander men. “I find it interesting how those of us who oppose you the most annoy you.” Tilting his head to one side, Victor folded his arms and tapped his fingers on his elbow. “Could it be that you’re a sore loser?”
“I never lose!” Thor claimed. In that moment, Freya closed her eyes as if she knew her brother had just made a wrong move on the chessboard and was about to be squashed.
Victor’s lips twitched. “You lose your cool. You lose your patience and because of that you often lose a discussion. You debate with your emotions, Thor. And to your point that Nmen make the best leaders in the world, I have to correct you. We French are no doubt superior. While your people were left with forests and lands to build a life after the Toxic War, we French were left buried underground in a hostile environment. We found a way to not only survive but to grow as a people and thrive because we didn’t have endless wars like you did. We chose leaders based on their intelligence and ability to make decisions from a place of sound logic and rationale.”