“I think I should be asking how I was for your first time,” I teased with a smile. I kissed him gently, trying to convey everything I felt into that single moment. “You were wonderful.”
There, wonderful, that’s a much better choice than awkwardly saying fantastic.
“Good, and to answer your question, it wasn’t what I imagined.” I tried to keep the frown from curling my lips down at his words, but his cheeky smile told me I had failed. “It was way better than I could have dreamed up.”
“Meany.” A giggle escaped me, relieved to know he’d enjoyed it. A gust from his AC filled the room, causing a shiver as the cool air brushed against my sweat coated skin. “But we should probably get dressed since it’s kind of cold in here.”
“Clothes, then a movie with cuddles? Like we originally planned,” Kingston offered before moving. A bright smile spread across his handsome face when I nodded.
Movie and post-sex cuddles with my laidback boyfriend?
Yes, please.
“Is that you, Emma?” my mom called when I walked into the house, her tone surprisingly not cold or flat.
That’s a first in… I don’t even know how long.
How sad is that?
“Yeah,” I responded, realizing I hadn’t actually said anything to her question. Heading up the stairs, I glanced around the living room and kitchen, but they were empty. I leaned around the corner, finding my mom standing near the bookshelf, flipping through the pages of one of her event packets. “What’s up?”
“Sam and I will be going out to dinner this Saturday,” she revealed, her tone semi-distracted as her eyes scanned the pages. “We’d like you to join us.”
“Oh, uh, sure,” I stumbled over my words, once again stunned that she’d requested nicely instead of demanding. “Where are we going?”
“The steakhouse over on Washington Street. Figured you can’t go wrong with steak in Nebraska,” my mom joked, finally looking away from her packet. My chest squeezed when she smiled at me. Being so close to her without high-strung emotions or stilted conversation was just odd, and while I hadn’t missed the lack of tension between us, I couldn’t help but feel closed off.
One too many conversations gone horribly wrong to truly enjoy it, I grumbled, hating that I’d become so cynical toward my own mom. But this could be a step in the right direction…
Hopefully.
“That sounds delicious. What time? I was going to go to the mall with Lyla earlier in the day, and I don’t want to be late,” I explained, trying to push past the unseen barrier I’d created in my mind. She’s just Mom, and she’s been going through a lot. Doesn’t mean all conversations will go badly, I tried to convince myself.
“I think we had decided on five-thirty or six, but I’ll have to double check. What are you and Lyla going to get at the mall? Anything fun?”
“Lyla wanted to look at some of the spring sales to refresh her wardrobe.” Stepping fully into the room, I leaned against the wooden door that was propped open. Relax, Emma. “She’ll probably want to look at the prom dresses that are out since she loves all things sparkly,” I explained, fudging the truth a bit. Lyla did love all things colorful, glittery, and pretty just like I did, but we weren’t going to be looking at them just for that.
“Ah.” My mom’s mood changed immediately, her smile flattening and the glimmer of humor in her gaze fizzled out. “You know I don’t support you going to prom with those boys, Emma Brooke.”
So much for the possible step in the right direction.
“I know,” I murmured, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. The glare she was giving me was a reminder of just how much my mom hated my boyfriends. I never wanted to know what she’d do if she found out about us having sex. Panic constricted around my chest, the thought of how much trouble I’d be in was nearly crushing me, so I took a few deep breaths subtly. The slow inhales helped ease the tightness but did nothing to make me feel better about my mother.
“But you know… they do treat me really well. They don’t make me feel bad about myself like Tyler did, and they support me in everything I do, like a band of my own personal cheerleaders.”
“You don’t have to like Tyler or talk to him. I learned that clearly didn’t work the last time I tried to get you to talk to him like a considerate human being,” my mom explained sharply. “But you’re still my daughter, and dating three boys—including one who’s currently doing community service for an assault charge—” As soon as she said that, the panic dissipated and anger swept in.
How dare she, I fumed. Jesse didn’t just attack some random asshole; he was saving me. He wasn’t just some criminal. He was sweet and caring, and hell, valedictorian for crying out loud. Even if he wasn’t, there was no reason for him to be treated like a lowlife when he wasn’t one. The brief moment of hope and excitement I finally had when I came in was ruined in less than five minutes.
“—is unacceptable,” my mom continued without a second thought. “I’m trying to be as lenient as I can, but I simply can’t give my approval for you to go to prom with them, but I know you’ll just do whatever you want to despite what I say.” The bitterness in her tone was harsh and cold.
And just like that, the cynical barrier that had formed around my mind and heart solidified as though there was now a thick concrete wall guarding me from her judgment and undeserved jabs. If only it were real, maybe this wouldn’t hurt so much.
“All right, Mom,” I whispered, dipping my head and retreating from the room. Turning on my music once I reached my room, I let the melody and beats wash over me. She might not support me, but I knew what I wanted. The soreness radiating through my body as I walked to my desk amplified the sentiment steeling my resolve.
She doesn’t have to like it, but it’s my life and I want to spend my life with them.
16
March 21st
Did you know the prom industry makes over four billion a year? Yeah, me neither.
#DressShopping #GirlsDay #StressfreeSaturday
“Shopping time!” Lyla practically shouted when she hopped out of the car. Shaking my head, I followed suit before leading her over to where Stella was meeting us. “Are you excited, my little Emma bean?”
“Definitely. I just wish my mom would stop being such a… ugh,” I grumbled, unable to come up with a word to describe how she’d made me feel over the last few months. Yanking the door open, I stepped into the mall’s air-conditioned entryway, enjoying the wave of brisk air. “Honestly though, I’m way more excited to be shopping with you and Stella. I think it’ll be fun.”
“It’s just what the next episode of The Lyla Teachings calls for,” she teased, practically skipping down the walkway to the food court. “How to pick the perfect dress for your figure, walk in heels without falling flat on your face, and—”
“I swear to God if you say butt stuff, I’m going to leave you here,” I cut her off, laughing at her tiny pout.
“I totally wasn’t going to say that…” she muttered indignantly, sticking her tongue out when I gave her a skeptical look. “And butt stuff. There! Now let’s see you leave my butt behind now.”