“No. I’m pretty sure my dad violating my privacy is very important and illegal.”
“Your dad has made a living doing illegal stuff. That’s not why I called. I need you to listen. He’ll be out of the shower soon.”
“Where are you at?”
“His place. We sparred and now we’re going out for dinner since Luke is out of town for a conference. Just. Listen!”
I narrowed my eyes. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“I was using your dad’s computer to check on something at work, and he had a notification pop up. A notification about you. I managed to erase it to buy you some time, but he’ll eventually come across the information.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He gets notifications about your medical records and the—”
“He’s hacked into my medical records?” My face soured as anger climbed up my neck. He knew no boundaries.
“Livy! I don’t have much time. I heard the shower go off. You’re pregnant. Please tell me it’s Darren’s baby.”
I said nothing because I knew I didn’t hear her correctly.
“Livy?”
“I … I’m not pregnant.”
“The blood test you had two days ago says otherwise.”
“Then it’s the wrong person’s records. I’m on the pill. I haven’t had sex in four months.”
“Have you had your period in the past four months?”
“Of course.”
Wait …
I had no fucking clue. I didn’t have regular periods. And when I started training so intensely with Jessica and my dad after the Abe incident, I would often skip periods, sometimes several months.
“You’re sure?”
“Pretty sure.”
“You don’t keep track?”
I rubbed my temples. “No … I … they’re irregular and all over the place. But I promise you, I’m not pregnant. I broke up with Darren. I haven’t seen him since I moved here.”
“To be clear, because I’m going to have to hang up in less than a minute, you haven’t had unprotected sex since you moved to Sacramento. Correct?”
“I’m. On. The. Pill.”
“Condom, Livy! Did you have sex without a condom?”
I swallowed hard. “Yes.”
The line went dead, and I assumed my dad had emerged from the bathroom and she had to disconnect the call. It was a routine physical. I had no complaints. They were going to run an STD test after I confessed I’d had sex without a condom with someone who wasn’t my partner. The doctor said a pregnancy test would be a good idea, but I’m pretty sure I declined it.
Confidentiality … or so I fucking thought. Of course I was pissed off at my dad, but I didn’t have time to give his massive invasion of my privacy the attention it deserved because Jess thought I was pregnant.
I was not pregnant.
No way.
I know I didn’t ask for a pregnancy test. The doctor must have ignored me, adding it to the lineup of STD tests. When did a fetus become an STD?
Fetus … baby …
Nope. It had to be a mistake. I. Was. On. The. Pill.
Not to mention, it really did take an act of God for me to have a regular period, which meant it had to take an act of God for me to get pregnant.
God wasn’t that cruel. He had better things to do than facilitate the meeting of an egg and sperm in me after all that I’d been through in my young life.
With shaky hands, I brought up the number for my doctor, a hot doctor Tricia recommended when I asked for a referral.
“Hi. This is Livy Knight. I need you to give me my test results from my appointment Monday. I don’t see anything posted to my app.”
“What is your date of birth?”
I clenched my teeth.
Just tell me if I’m pregnant!
I gave her all my information and waited on hold … and I waited … and I waited.
“Sorry, there’s a glitch in the app. You can go onto our website and access all of your test results there.”
“Am I pregnant?”
“I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to share any information with you over the phone.”
“Can you at least tell me if they ran a pregnancy test? Because I didn’t ask for one.”
“Again, all tests and results can be viewed if you log in to our website. And your doctor will be calling you soon to discuss them.”
I ended the call without a goodbye. Then I went to their website and logged in to my account, with no clue how to quickly find my answer.
“Shit …” There it was right there on the screen.
I … was … pregnant.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Six positive home tests later (because those official medical lab tests could not be accurate), I conceded … I was pregnant.
I didn’t want a child, not like that. Not by myself. Not if my life could possibly be in danger.
“You don’t have to keep it.” Jessica handed me a cup of tea the day before Thanksgiving. I went straight to her house before I went home.
Dad knew.
He didn’t say the actual words. He texted “get your ass home.”
I ignored him for five days, packed my bag, and drove to Jessica’s house.
“It’s Alex’s baby, isn’t it?”
I winced before blowing the steam. “Why do you have to call him that too?”
She shrugged, angling her body at the opposite end of the sofa. “It’s been his name for five years.”
“You knew.” I tried to hide my disappointment, but it was hard to do.
“I knew. And I would have told you had I thought it was safe and in your best interest … emotionally.”
I stared past her, out the window to her view of the bay. “I love how everyone thought they knew what was best for me … a grown woman.”
“I’ve made some impossible decisions in my life. I’ve had people keep secrets from me in my ‘best interest.’ So I’m not going to waste my breath trying to convince you that you shouldn’t be mad, hurt, and disappointed.”
“Did you meet his wife?”
She nodded.
“Should I hate her?”
Jessica chuckled. “You slept with her husband and got pregnant. If their marriage was a typical marriage, I’d say she’d have every right to do physical harm to you. But I honestly don’t know what their marriage is right now. Five years with a stranger makes them anything but strangers. She’s pretty and likable. He’s handsome and a man … with needs.”
“Wow … you are a ray of sunshine on my life right now.”
“Livy, I won’t lie to you to save your feelings. Your life? Your sanity? Yes. But not your feelings.”
With a sad smile, I met her gaze. “Is it fair to him to keep the baby if we can’t be together? If he can’t be part of his child’s life?”
“Well, that’s a loaded question. So many assumptions. First is assuming you tell him about the baby. Second is assuming you tell him and choose not to be a family.”
My eyes narrowed. “I don’t have a choice.”