‘I wish I could fly back with you. I have no idea how long it will take to sort everything out. I’m a little nervous about meeting your family, to be honest.’ His frown shows me he’s serious.
‘Hey, there’s nothing to worry about. I’ve kept it simple, but they know me so well and it’s more about what I haven’t told them, than what I have actually decided to share. I’ve told them you’re special and you are. It will be easier when they can see us together and really get to know you.’
‘I understand.’ Ronan scoops me into his arms, giving me a lingering hug.
‘Planning a new future takes time. I simply have to be patient, but it isn’t going to be easy.’ He gazes over my shoulder.
‘Look, we have company!’ Ronan releases me, pointing to a swan on the river in front of us. It glides easily, head erect and proud as it scans around attentively. ‘See that little island in the middle of the river? Just to the right of that bush there’s what looks like a pile of moss, old leaves and twigs. If you look closely, I think that’s a nest. Yes, look, his partner is looking after their clutch of eggs. It won’t be long before they have a bevy of cygnets.’
‘That’s so lovely to see. It’s peaceful here; not too commercial considering it’s also a campsite.’
‘There’s another bridge further down and what looks like an information board. Come on, let’s wander down and take a peek.’ Ronan yanks on my hand playfully. ‘This is perfect, isn’t it?’
‘Simply perfect,’ I repeat, but really what I’m thinking is that he’s perfect.
I love his natural sense of curiosity and how inspired he is by the things around him.
‘This looks interesting,’ Ronan says as I try to slow the thoughts tumbling through my mind.
The river diverts to the other side of the mill, the main part heading off to the right and a smaller, shallower arm wending its way beneath a stone bridge. We stop to read the story and discover that a hefty grant a few years ago allowed the site to be developed in sympathy with the surroundings.
‘It sort of restores your faith in human nature, doesn’t it?’
‘Money makes the world go around, I suppose, but it’s wonderful when organisations can work together. This is a beautiful spot and it hasn’t been spoilt.’
Ronan turns to look at me, leaning against the trunk of an old oak tree.
‘France is in my blood; it always will be. But spending time with you has made me realise that the only thing that really matters is being together, Lexie.’
I had assumed he’d been walking along just taking in the view, but clearly his mind is still preoccupied too. The look on his face makes me draw closer to him and he throws open his arms, pulling me into a tight embrace.
My days here are numbered and now it’s beginning to hang over us, ominously.
‘I feel that way too, Ronan,’ I half whisper. ‘A part of me wants to stay here forever, even though I know that’s not possible. No matter how hard it’s going to be to leave you, I simply don’t have a choice in the matter. Aside from my work commitments, I have to be close to my family as we’ve always been there for each other. Well, most of us have.’
‘Come on, let’s head inside for a pre-lunch drink and you can tell me the whole story. It’s time I found out what I’m about to get myself into, don’t you think?’
Although I was hoping to avoid this conversation today, I can’t put it off any longer. Or pretend that what’s in my past hasn’t given rise to trust issues.
Ronan stoops, his lips softly touching mine, and I’m confident that we have a real shot at this. For two people with complicated lives and backgrounds, it’s going to be a test. And, yes, making a commitment is scary, admittedly, but this feels right and nothing is going to get in our way. As I told Maisie, one day someone will come along who will be a keeper, and now that time has come for me, at last!
I sip my half a glass of white wine slowly, in between downing probably the sweetest-tasting water that I’ve ever sampled, which is drawn from the local well.
‘Is this amazing, or what?’ Ronan enthuses.
We both plumped for the palourdes au gratin, which turns out to be baked clams in garlic butter and breadcrumbs.
‘These are deliciously sweet, offset by the richness of the garlic.’ I find myself reaching for my wine glass, then decide that I don’t want to overpower the flavours in my mouth.
‘Okay, time to tell me all about this brother of yours. You said he was successful?’
‘Yes. If you think having lots of money in the bank, a huge house – which is now in the UK, I might add – an American wife and twin boys is the benchmark for having made it. I’d say Jake has ticked off most of his life goals. World domination next.’
The minute I stop speaking I realise how that sounds, but I wasn’t being sarcastic. Not having met Jake, Ronan wouldn’t understand that, of course. I wouldn’t want Jake’s lifestyle; it’s simply not me.
‘Sorry. Let me backtrack a little.’
I lean my knife and fork against the plate for a moment.
‘Jake was a director of a big production company and he offered me a job as an assistant producer. I jumped at it, but then he knew I would, as that was my dream. I had a falling out with my boss, who spoke to Jake, and Jake fired me without even asking for my side of the story.’
I have no intention of letting this spoil my lunch, so I resume eating, waiting for Ronan’s response. He finishes the last mouthful on his plate, wipes his mouth on the linen napkin and sits looking at me for a moment or two.
‘Maybe there was more to it and it was a case of the politics behind it. Obviously, I don’t know him, or the details, but you’re his sister and the fact that he didn’t listen to you seems a little bizarre.’
I nod, fearing that already this mouthful of delicious food has lost a little of its appeal.
‘Business comes first over everything else in Jake’s life. It wasn’t solely about the fact he didn’t talk to me, but about the announcement he made implying that I was being let go because I wasn’t up to the job. It wasn’t just humiliating, it shut down so many avenues for me. I had to take the first thing I was offered just to be able to continue paying my bills. It was yet another job as a presenter and for me that was going backwards. Overnight my dreams fell apart and it’s taken five years of research, and every penny I have saved, to grab this opportunity. That’s why the project with Elliot is so important.’
I can see that Ronan is a little shocked by my revelation.
‘I knew this project was a big deal for both you and Elliot financially, but I hadn’t realised quite how crucial. I can see now why you’ve been so worried. But you said your brother went to the States?’
‘Yes, he’d already accepted a job and left for LA a week later. He was promoted to deputy CEO and put in charge of the American subsidiary of the company.’
Ronan frowns, raising the wine glass to his mouth and taking a sip. He glances at me over the top, looking distinctly uncomfortable as he can see how difficult it is for me, raking over old wounds. I put down my knife and fork, then take a sip of water. Talking about Jake is a mistake, but I’ve started, so I have to finish.