When tears start to burn my eyes, I slam my fist against the steering wheel over and over until my entire hand feels like it’s on fire. Good. Physical pain is so much easier to deal with.
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. If I’m really going in there, I need to get a handle on myself. When I open my eyes they drift to the door of her shop again. There’s a poster for Walker hanging on the glass. With determination in my step, I get out of the car and walk inside.
The bell chimes above the door, and I come to a stop at the counter. I spot the top of Tess’s head leaned over a rather large guy in a chair toward the back.
“I’m all booked today,” she calls over her shoulder. The buzzing of the gun doesn’t stop, and I step closer to watch her meticulously color in a line.
I run my hands down the front of my jeans and take a breath. “Bishop?”
The gun buzzes a little louder and the guy in the chair jumps. “Ouch! Watch what you’re doing, will ya?”
Tess laughs under her breath, wiping the blood with the rag in her opposite hand. “Relax, tough guy. It couldn’t have hurt that bad.”
His eyes widen and travel over to me with scrutiny.
The dark hair cascades down her back in waves now. It was always a stark contrast to her porcelain skin and striking blue eyes. That’s what happens when you get your hair color from a bottle, I guess. The colorful tattoos in a sleeve down her arm draw me in next. When I left, she only had a few. Now I think she has more than I do.
I want her to look at me. I need to see her face so badly it hurts.
“Bishop, will you please just talk to me?”
She laughs darkly. “I have nothing to say to you.”
I sigh. “Well, that’s too bad. I have a lot of things I need to say to you and I’m not leaving until I do.”
I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans right as she finally glances over her shoulder at me. The connection was brief, but it was enough to send my heart rate into overdrive.
She turns back to her client and the buzzing resumes.
“You should leave. It’s what you’re good at.”
I grunt in frustration. “You know that’s not true. I didn’t have a choice.”
The guy in the chair moves to push up from his seat, looking between us. “Listen, if you’re going to have a fight with your boyfriend, maybe we should reschedule.”
Tess huffs and shoves him back down into the chair. “He’s not my boyfriend, and I’m almost done. Sit down and quit being such a pussy.”
The large guy begrudgingly concedes and I fight the smile on my face. I like that she still has a spark to her. I also kind of hate it because it’s the reason she’s being so stubborn right now.
“I’m not fucking around,” I say, stepping closer. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me. I’ll wait outside if you want, but I’m not going anywhere.”
This gets a reaction out of her. She puts down her gun and rips her gloves off in one quick motion. She takes determined steps toward me and folds her arms when she comes to a stop.
“You want to talk, Perry? Fine, we’ll talk.” She plasters a fake smile on her face. “It’s real nice of you to show up here two months after you got out of prison. Thanks for thinking of us.”
Her words immediately make me feel like shit. I know I should have come sooner, but I couldn’t bring myself to face her.
“I’m sorry…”
She holds her hand up. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I’ve heard that so many times in the past few months that it literally means nothing to me. It doesn’t make me feel any better, it doesn’t change the fact that my entire life was ripped away from me, and it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the fact that you finally decided it was time to grace me with your fucking presence.”
My eyes cast downward for a moment. I lower my voice. “I loved him, too.”
Instead of sadness, I see fury in her eyes. I don’t have time to react before her fist flies into my throat. So far, this is going exactly how I expected.
2
Sorry, Not Sorry
Tess- Now
The pleasure it gives me to hear Perry gasping for air is alarming. I don’t know what came over me, but I don’t feel bad about it. Ben, the guy in my chair, has a look of disbelief on his face as he grips the handrails.
Still trembling with the adrenaline coursing through my veins, my eyes flick back to Perry. He’s still shaking his head, clutching his throat.
“Damn, Bishop. You have a good arm.” His voice is strained, but I swear I see him smirk. That pisses me off more.
“I mean it, Perry. Get the hell out of here.” I point to the door and he shakes his head again.
“Not happening.” He pops his neck against his hand before landing his eyes on me. A strange feeling comes over me and I can’t bring myself to look away. He was always someone I could count on no matter what, and when I needed him the most, he wasn’t there. I don’t think I can ever forgive him for that.
Regaining my composure, I square my shoulders. “Do what you want.” I turn to walk back to Ben. “It doesn’t matter what you say. You’re wasting your breath.”
I reach for my gun again and Ben shoots up from the chair. “No way, Tess. Your way too wound up to be poking at me with that needle.” He draws his hand across his throat. “I’m done for today.”
My eyes roll. It’s always the largest guys who are the most scared. “Whatever,” I call to him. “Call me next week and I’ll fit you in so we can finish.”
The door chimes in the background, but I keep my focus on cleaning up my equipment. He was my last appointment for today, so I have little chance of getting rid of Perry by being busy again. It’s been several minutes, but I can still hear his footsteps move across the concrete floors from time to time. Unable to stand it anymore, I get up to see what he’s doing.
His eyes are fixated on the wall of photos I have out front. They’re sporadically placed behind the chairs in the waiting room. Most of them are of art shows and conferences Walker and I either went to or competed in. The others are of us. By us, I mean everyone how we used to be. Walker, Jeremy, Perry, me, and even that bitch Sloan. There was a time when you were unlikely to get a photo of Perry without Sloan. That’s the only change I can be thankful for.
He stands by one of them longer than the others. It was the summer before we lost Jeremy and all of us were down at the lake for the weekend. That was the best summer of my life, and I’m pretty sure he’s thinking the same thing.
“We never did get that golf cart out of the lake,” Perry says with a small laugh, motioning to the picture.
I bite my lip so I don’t smile. “Yeah, well you were the one who drove it there. I’m surprised you didn’t drown.”
“I almost did,” he says, turning to me. His eyes are lit up with amusement and for a brief second I forget why I’m mad at him. That second passes quickly. I turn my eyes to the floor and cross my arms.
Perry steps around me and stops in front of the one from their senior prom. I wasn’t a senior, but Walker took me as his date. He also took me for the next two years after that until I graduated. I know for a fact Perry is focusing on Sloan. If I remember correctly, they broke up that night at the after party—and got back together about three days later.