I shake my head. “No, baby. You want me… you take that ring off.”
Sloan seems conflicted, but then twists the multi-carat sparkler off and lets it clang on my dresser. “Better?”
This time I nod. “Yes, much.”
She steps over to me and begins to remove my pants while I kiss my way down her neck. When she gets them off, I kick them to the side and grab her by her hips, pushing her onto the bed. She leans up on her elbows and watches me while I lick a trail up her leg to her panties. I hook one finger inside, pulling the fabric to the side.
I pause, looking up at her. “Did you say that you miss me?” I lick once slowly up her center and stop. She reaches down to the stubble on top of my head.
“Yes, Perry, I miss you so much.”
I smirk and drag my tongue through her slick folds once more. She releases a frustrated cry and bucks her hips along my face, but I hold her down.
I tilt my head. “Do you love me, Sloan?”
This time the pleasure in her eyes turns into something else. She closes them so I can’t see and whispers, “Yes.”
Unable to tell if she’s lying, I move away from her and grab a condom out of my bedside drawer. Her eyes open again when she hears the foil packet. I position myself in front of her and watch her face.
“You want me?”
Instead of a yes or no answer, she whispers to me again. “Always.”
Even if I believed her, which I fucking don’t, I roll the condom over my dick, anyway. We’re both adults now. We both want this. I don’t need any kind of validation from her in order to get off. This isn’t about love, and I’m not stupid enough to believe it could be.
Sloan’s eyes are closed when I lower myself between her legs. I kiss a trail between her breasts and up to her lips before inching inside. She moans into my mouth and I thrust the rest of the way in. This causes her eyes to pop back open, her mouth parting with a sharp breath. She watches my face for a moment, searching for the regret we both should feel.
It isn’t there and I lean down and catch her lips, drowning her moans with a kiss. I don’t stop even though she doesn’t belong to me anymore. Maybe she never did, but right now I don’t care. I want her more than I want to be good, and if I’m really being honest, it’s always been that way. Two people unapologetically wrong for each other but can never stay away.
When her eyes drift closed once more, I kiss up her neck. My teeth graze her skin as she cries out my name. A whisper on her lips I’ve heard a thousand times. It haunts my dreams like a nightmare, reminding me of everything I lost.
Her moans get louder and it makes my movements more forceful. I can’t be slow with her. I’m thrusting hard, the bedframe screeching in protest. She grips my chin with her nails, pulling me to her mouth with wet, desperate kisses.
One of my hands grips the headboard while the other clutches her hip so roughly it will no doubt leave a mark. A reminder she can take home to her fiancé so she remembers how wrong this is.
“Perry,” she breathes when I slow. “Don’t stop.”
I raise my head to see her face and the pleading in her eyes. Her fingers dig into my back and I give in to her. I pick back up a punishing rhythm and all of her tight muscles clench around my cock at once. My release comes before hers and I empty inside of her with a strangled grunt. She continues to cling to me as I give her two more thrusts before pulling out.
With a chaste kiss to her lips, I slide off the bed and walk straight to the bathroom to clean up. She’s still curled in my blanket as I step back into the room and reach for my pants.
“Are you leaving?” she asks, leaning up on her elbow.
I nod. “Yep. I have dinner with my parents.” I pull on my shirt and she is still staring at me.
“And you’re just going to leave me here?”
While buttoning my pants, I shrug. “Don’t you have like a fiancé waiting at home or something?”
“Real nice, Perry,” she sneers. She throws the blanket off of her and fluffs her hair. “Shall I tell him how I spent my afternoon, or would that be too much?”
I roll my eyes. “It was your choice to come here. You knew what was going to happen.”
She pulls her dress up and adjusts the straps. “Really? I knew I was going to come here and realize that I was still in love with you?”
The anger on her face doesn’t match her words. I can’t seem to form sentences. I spot the cigarette that must have fallen from behind my ear and reach for it. She rolls her eyes when I light it and take a much-needed drag.
Sloan crosses her arms. “Well?”
I laugh. “Well, what? You want me to tell you I spent the past two years pining away for you and how this evening all my fucking dreams finally came true?” I narrow my eyes at her. “Because I won’t.”
She shakes her head, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. “You don’t mean that.”
I snub my cigarette out in the ashtray and walk over to her. “You know how I feel about you. I’ve made that very clear to you many, many times, but I refuse to be your dirty little secret while you prance around acting like your life is perfect.”
She wipes her eyes and reaches for her bag. When she turns back to me I take a deep breath. “It’s not perfect.” She laughs once. “My life is far from it. I’m not lying when I say I miss you. I do. I miss you every day and I can’t stop. I know that’s not fair, but it’s the truth.”
I bite my tongue. There are so many things I could say that would send her out of here hating the asshole that I am, but I can’t. She knows what to say to keep my heart beating just a little faster than it should. She’s been doing it since we were fifteen and it works as good now as it did then.
She runs a hand through her hair and pauses at my door. “I had a feeling you’d still be angry when I talked to Tess earlier this week. She didn’t seem too thrilled about me asking about you.”
My eyebrows pull in. “You talked to Bishop about me?”
She nods, pulling her sunglasses down. “Yeah, at the drug store. She’s really having a hard time.” She leans over and squeezes my arm. “I’m glad she still has you.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. If only that were true.
Sloan leans up on her toes and kisses my cheek. Her lips linger longer than usual. I turn my face quickly and catch her lips. Surprised, she touches her lips with her fingertips when I pull away.
“I love you, Sloan.”
She gives a sad smile before turning and walking out of my door. I close it behind her and slam my fist against the wood. So far, out of the two problems I’ve been trying to make better, I only made them worse.
5
Vices
Tess- Now
Being jolted out of sleep at two in the morning is nothing new. The thing is, it hasn’t happened in years. I glance at the clock beside my bed and sit up, rubbing my eyes. My phone rings again and I reach for it. I answer without checking the display.
“Yeah?”
There’s a pause.
“Um, Tess. It’s Phil down at The Watering Hole. I have Perry here and I know it’s late but I also know he’s on parole so…”