She looks out of the open door and back to me with a stunned expression.
“You can’t be serious. I’m wearing wedges.”
I get inches from her face. “I don’t give a fuck if you have to walk barefoot. Get the fuck out of my car.” My voice is a low growl and she flinches back from me.
With a huff, she grabs her handbag and steps out onto the sidewalk. I reach over and pull her door closed. She glares down at me through the window.
“Seriously, Perry? You can’t just leave me here.”
Her voice is muffled by the closed window, and I stifle a laugh. If I wasn’t so angry, I would have. Instead, I lock the door and peel tire all the way down the street. I catch her fumbling in her purse through the rearview, obviously calling for a ride. When she’s out of view, I slam my fist into the dashboard.
My anger now is mostly directed toward myself. I’m tired of being stupid because of her. If I let this continue, I’ll never be happy.
I let those thoughts consume me as I drive to the shop across town. I’ve been putting this conversation off with Tess for as long as I can. I’m leaving tomorrow and if I don’t hash shit out with Robby first, I’ll be worried the entire time. He’s unpredictable, and I can’t take any unnecessary risks when it comes to keeping Tess safe.
She’s standing behind the counter with her head lowered over her sketchpad when I stroll through the door. Tight, inky curls are clipped on top of her head and she’s wearing a studded black tank top and body-hugging distressed jeans. Her dark red lips pout when she sees my face and she drops her pencil.
“You look troubled,” she says, concern etching her brow. “You okay?”
I nod, but the knot in my stomach clamps tighter. It’s not about Sloan at this point and I have no intention of bringing it up right now. I rest my hands on the counter across from her and meet her gaze.
“You have anything to drink?”
She laughs. “What? Like booze?” She pulls out a bottle of Jack from under the counter. “I have this for when the tough guys get a little squirmy. They bleed more, but complain less.” She shrugs one shoulder and I finally crack a smile.
“That’ll work.” I take the bottle from her hand and twist off the cap. “You’re gonna need one too.” She watches me take about two shots worth and slide it over to her.
She pauses with the bottle poised at her lips. “This sounds serious.”
“It is.”
Tess takes a long drink, wincing as the harsh liquor hits her stomach. “Okay, let me have it.”
“Tess, I mean it. This is not a joke.”
She studies my face for a moment and then sighs. “I’m with you.”
I glance back to the door. “You have any more appointments today?”
She shakes her head.
“Good,” I say and then walk over to lock the deadbolt. I peek out into the street for good measure and then walk back to her. She looks nervous now, and my heart is already breaking for her. I take a breath. “This is about Walker.
Her shoulders visibly tense, but she keeps her eyes locked on mine. “What about him?”
“It’s about the money. The money he never delivered to Robby.”
She blows out a shaky breath. “It’s okay. I knew eventually this would happen.”
I see the worry on her face and round the counter so I can be closer. I place hand on her shoulder, looking her directly in the eye. “You don’t have to worry about all of it. I have half of my own still stashed at my parent’s house.”
Tess huffs a bitter laugh. “Well, I have all of it. More than all of it. I never spent a dime he made from Robby.” She pulls away from me and wipes under her eyes. “Did you honestly think I didn’t know?”
“I wasn’t sure. He wasn’t always…well, he had a lot on his plate toward the end.”
“Just say it how it is,” she spits back at me. “He wasn’t honest. He lied to me, Perry. All the fucking time.”
Her sudden burst of anger surprises me. I assumed she knew some things, but there was always so much he kept from her. It put a strain on our relationship as well. I never lied to Tess and keeping something so important from her felt wrong to me. Walker started to resent my loyalty to her.
My eyebrows pull in. “You knew?”
“Of course I did. He was my husband after all.” She wipes away another tear as they start to flow faster. “I don’t think he wanted to tell me, but I don’t think he had a choice. There was too much money to hide anymore.”
My eyes drift away from hers, my jaw tensing. “I fucked up. I know I should have never left him alone in this.”
“No, don’t do that,” she says.
Her hand is on my arm, but I refuse to look at her. “Do what?”
“Don’t put this all on you. You didn’t have a choice when you left. He had a choice to keep doing it and he didn’t listen.”
“But it’s my fault he was doing it in the first place,” I grit out. My nostrils flare and I take a step back lacing my hands on my head. “If I never went to prison, I could have stopped this. I could have prevented it from going further.”
“Perry, stop,” she pleads, stepping closer to me again.
Her hands land on my waist and I lower my arms around her. I press my cheek to the side of her head and hug her to my chest. “It was my job to protect you,” I whisper.
When I still won’t look at her, she grabs the sides of my face so I have to.
“Perry, look at me.” Our gazes connect and I see the firmness in her eyes. “You protect everyone. Walker, Mack, even that bitch Sloan. But who protects that big, dumb heart of yours?”
“It doesn’t—"
She clasps her hand over my mouth so I can’t finish my sentence. “I do,” she says, and then releases me with a small smile. Her arms come back around my middle, holding me to her. “It’s my job to protect you whether you want it to be or not.”
I bury my face into her neck, the severity of our situation hitting me harder than I expect. “I fucking love you, Bishop. Do you know that?”
She nods into my chest and I thread my hand in her hair. I lift my head and kiss her temple. “I’ll never let anything happen to you. I can live without a lot of things, but I can’t live without you.”
Her fingers dig into my back to clutch me tighter, and then she whispers, “I love you, too.”
22
Because I Had You
Tess- Now
It takes a little while for Perry to calm down. When he’s upset or angry, he always has trouble forming a logical thought. I knew Walker went ahead and made a deal when Perry went prison. It extended his role with Sam and Robby and also pulled him deeper into their world. Without Perry around, nobody was here to rein him in. That was his downfall.
We’re driving to my parent’s house across town. Shortly after Walker died, I had to move the money. I was afraid someone would come for it and kill me for good measure—but they never did. Evidently, Perry made a deal of his own with some acquaintances on the inside.
He’s chain smoking beside me in the car and hasn’t said much since we left the shop. I decide to break the silence first.