Clearly, she wasn’t the kind of woman who would kill a man unjustly. If she’d been pushed to the point of murder, it was certainly warranted. Cam hated that someone had hurt her so much she felt her only escape was to kill.
His plan would only work if she was mad enough to fight with him and she felt comfortable enough to give him a good blistering. Once she could yell at him without fear, it would mean she was no longer afraid of him. Or so he hoped.
Mari had been badly mistreated and did not trust his kindness. Gentleness alone wouldn’t work with her. He had to earn her ire and argue loudly with her, in order to prove he would never resort to violence.
No matter how much it went against everything he’d ever done in the past when it came to women. His father had always told him women were to be honored and respected. He was never to lift his hand to a female or anyone smaller than he, except in battle for his clan.
“A large body doesn’t mean you are a strong man if you use it to intimidate others. Being able to use your body to fight your enemies, while keeping your heart kind, is the truest meaning of strength.”
Cam thought his father had the right of it. He would never raise a hand in anger to his wife. Or any other person. He just wished there was a way to convince her of that. Not touching his wife was taking more strength than he might possess.
At some point during the night she’d scooted closer, and he’d wrapped his arm around her to hold her. He wanted her badly, but he would wait until she felt safe.
Her whimpers and tossing woke him, and he pulled her from the depths of her bad dream. She cried and shook against him, and he held her as tight as he could without crushing her, hoping to help hold her together. He worried she’d shake apart into tiny pieces if he let go.
When she quieted, he stroked her hair. “Is it better now, Mari?”
“Can you hold me a little longer?”
“I’ll hold you as long as you need, lass.” Forever.
That thought made him shudder. She’d only been here a few days, and already he feared he was slipping into unwanted feelings.
He’d not wanted to marry, yet he was wed and at ease with it…because he thought it would be in name only. But now he was trying to earn her trust so they could share more intimate pursuits that had nothing to do with either of their names.
And tonight he found himself forgoing his interest in the flesh to simply hold her and offer comfort. Worse, he was content with the contact and didn’t wish for more at the moment.
He was in dangerous territory. If he wasn’t careful he could find himself feeling things he never intended, never wanted to feel.
…
At first light, Mari slid out from under Cameron’s heavy arms and left for the kitchen. She didn’t want to be around when he woke up in a foul mood with a headache and stomach issues. Although…he’d spoken to her in the middle of the night as if he was as sober as she. Maybe the whisky worked differently on a man of his size.
She liked helping in the kitchen. Her sister spent a lot of time there, though Kenna had promised her husband she wouldn’t lift a finger while in her condition. The women told stories and shared tales. Occasionally they’d complain about their men or their bairns.
They never asked Mari probing questions or hinted that they knew why she was living there. She suspected if she told them, they would listen and keep it to themselves. She just hadn’t grown accustomed to having friends yet.
Her maid, Lucy, had been her only true friend. There had been women from court, but she couldn’t call them friends. They were catty women who had preyed on gossip and were just as happy to make something up if it was a dull day.
It was nice to be accepted as she was.
She was about to ask the women if Scottish men did not wake up ill after drinking, when she remembered her sister’s advice from the day before.
The letter.
Good lord. She’d forgotten all about it when Cameron stumbled in the night before. Even now, it was sitting in their room for him to find when he woke.
She jumped up. “Excuse me, I forgot something very important. I’ll be right back.”
She opened the door and only got a few steps from the kitchen when she encountered Cameron coming toward her. He was smiling, which was more than she’d expected in his state. He was also clean and bright-eyed, despite being up earlier than drunken men generally rose. He seemed to have suffered nothing for his indulgence the night before.
“May I speak with you, Mari?”
“Of course.” Her voice cracked with nervousness.
Had he found the letter? Had he read it?
He didn’t look angry…far from it.
He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I wondered if you might want to go for another ride with me this morning, since we didn’t see much yesterday. We can take a meal with us and eat it by the river if you’d like.”
After what had happened the day before, she hadn’t expected him to want to try again. Too overcome with emotion to speak, she just nodded and hoped he could tell how pleased she was to be invited. Especially since he was in a good mood with no signs of overindulgence from the night before.
The morning sun exposed the hints of red in his brown hair as she followed him to the stables. The fear from the day before wouldn’t return. She knew he wasn’t taking her out of the castle to harm her where no one would hear. He merely wanted to show her their lands.
The pride on his face told her how happy he was to have a place of power here.
Like the day before, she followed him out of the bailey. He paused until her horse came up next to his. When she fell behind again, he stopped. It took far too long for her to realize he wanted her to ride next to him. She made sure to keep up when he started off again.
“I don’t know if ye remember, but that stand of woods over there is where you came running into my life.” He smiled. “We canna see the field from here. It’s on the other side.”
She nodded.
“The river is just beyond this small hill. Be careful, though, it’s misleading. There’s a steep cliff on the other side. We’ll skirt around to the right. There’s a place where it levels out. It’s a fine place to rest and eat.”
She looked up at the blue sky of a perfect day, allowing herself to be happy. She was safe here. The woods, while dark and sinister when she’d been running through them for her life, were actually lovely in the way the sun filtered through the leaves, making everything below glow a brilliant green.
“Have you ever ridden bareback?” he asked out of the blue.
“Once or twice. Not since I grew up.”
He nodded. “There’s another reason I wanted you to become familiar with our lands. If ever there’s a threat, if Ridley were to return to arrest you, I want you to be ready to run and hide. You may not have a chance to saddle a horse. If ever I give you the word, I want you to take a horse and come here, to this place. There are plenty of trees for cover. Then get in the river and walk as far as ye can downstream. That will throw the dogs off your scent.”