She gasped in surprise when he touched her breasts, lifting them into his hands and kneading them tenderly. It was…pleasant, but she felt acutely self-conscious about all the scars.
Then he went to his knees before her and kissed her stomach, her abdomen, and breasts, and her thoughts scattered in a flood of pleasure. He paid special attention to her left breast, where the nipple was twisted and puckered.
She’d expected him to be disgusted when he saw her naked, but his groan of need told her otherwise. He truly didn’t mind the scars. He stood, and the hardness of his arousal pushed against her through his kilt.
She didn’t want the barrier of fabric between them any longer. Reaching for his belt, her fingers trembled as she made short work of the buckle. His kilt dropped to the floor with a thump. She was both too afraid to look and too excited not to.
She glanced down and wished she hadn’t. She swallowed in alarm, but he just chuckled with a smug grin.
“Not only was he an evil bastard, but he was lacking as well, aye?” He shook his head. “Nay, I’m sorry. I don’t want thoughts of him between us. I’ll take care of you, Mari. I promise, we will get on well together, and it will be better than it ever was.”
She nodded in firm agreement. He didn’t know how right he was.
Now was the time to tell him the truth.
Chapter Sixteen
Cam was still berating himself for his smugness. But when he saw the surprise on Mari’s face when she looked upon him naked, he hadn’t been able to help himself.
He’d heard English men were hung like twigs, and her shock proved it must be so.
She pulled back to look down at him again and swallowed. He waited for her to speak. It was clear she wanted to say something.
Whatever it was, he would soothe her concerns so he could make her his wife in every way. He would care for her and see to her pleasure. Something it was clear her prig of a husband hadn’t done.
The scars on her breasts were made with a savage blade by someone with a callous heart. She’d covered her breasts again, and he thought maybe she was still self-conscious of her marks.
With his kilt already on the floor thanks to his wife, he tugged off his boots. He moved the candle closer, setting it on the stand beside the bed so the light splashed across his chest, enhancing his own scars.
“I am marked by battle as well. Our scars are proof we have faced horrible things and lived.” He took her hands and gently pulled them away to place them on his chest. Her cool skin caused a shiver against his heated flesh. “Don’t ever be ashamed. You are beautiful.”
She smiled briefly before focusing intently on him. Her fingers traced over his many scars. Some were no more than nicks and scratches along the surface of his skin. Some were deeper wounds he’d thought might end him.
“You are beautiful as well, husband.” She frowned. “I hope you are not offended. I guess that was not an appropriate compliment for a man.” She licked her lips nervously. Not in the seductive way some of the lasses in the village did it.
He knew she was no longer afraid of him in the physical sense. But he could see she was uneasy about the act they were moving toward.
“I am not offended,” he reassured her as he took her trembling hand and held it tight against his heart. “If ye don’t want to do this, we won’t. We have plenty of time to make sure you’re comfortable.”
She winced and glanced away. “That’s just it. I don’t think it’s possible for me ever to be comfortable.”
“Did he hurt you in that way as well?” Cam asked.
He’d not considered that possibility. Probably because the thought of anyone forcing her repulsed him. He stepped back. He’d not add to her pain. His needs were nothing when compared to her anxiety.
She shook her head. “No, that’s the thing. He never touched me in that way. I am still a— I’m a virgin.”
…
Cameron stepped away from Mari so fast one might think she was infested with fleas. Her heart hurt at his reaction, but his shock quickly changed to confusion.
“But… You were married for years.”
“Yes. And throughout all the horrific days of our life together, he never consummated our marriage.”
Cameron looked skeptical. She didn’t blame him; it did seem impossible. That someone so horrid had not taken liberties was one of the few things she had to be thankful for in the years of her marriage.
“I may not know exactly what goes on between a man and wife, but I know enough that I’m quite sure it never happened. Especially since my late husband never spent a moment in my bed.”
Cam nodded and looked at her breasts again. This time she didn’t attempt to shield herself from his gaze. He’d told her not to be ashamed. She wasn’t.
He walked around her, and she trembled under his gaze.
“You’re perfect, Mari. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful in my life.”
He made his way around to her front. He didn’t flinch or skim over looking at her chest; instead, his eyes paused in their movement and he reached out to caress the side of her breast.
“I’m far from perfect.” She’d hardly seen herself in years, always looking away whenever she was naked in front of a looking glass.
“I know ye may hate what the scars mean to you, but they don’t detract from your beauty. Instead, I see strength and courage. I’m so glad you didn’t let him win. I would have missed out on knowing you.”
A tear slipped down her cheek when she thought of how close a thing it had been.
Cameron kissed the tear away and kissed her lips briefly. He stepped even closer and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist.
Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against hers. “I do not wish to speak of him again tonight, unless you need to tell me something. I feel we have been given a great gift. This first time for you will belong only to us. That is, if you wish to continue.”
“I do,” she said shyly.
He raised his head and smiled down at her. “My brave lass.”
He brushed her long hair back and rested his hands upon her shoulders. “We’ll ease our way through this together. I’ll trust you to tell me if I do something you like or don’t like. That way, we can slowly learn one another and build upon the enjoyment.”
She nodded. Impatient to get underway, she stood on tiptoe so she could reach his lips.
His tongue reached into her mouth, stroking hers, and she moaned at the contact. She might not be skilled, but she knew this was what it was supposed to feel like in a husband’s embrace.