He nodded, but his nod turned into a sway of his head the other way. “As soon as the babe is born, she’ll be taken. And—” A sob broke free and he hung his head. “I wish to be hardened like you. My own mother was weak and succumbed to the pain of her broken heart, leaving me alone to fend for myself. I can’t do that to our child. I need to find a way to go on, but I don’t see how, loving her the way I do.”
“You don’t want this either, Cameron,” the dowager said, placing a hand on his arm. “Hiding behind walls this thick means there’s no escape from the hell you create for yourself.”
She took the glass from his slack fingers and set it aside. “I wasn’t prepared for the pain, so I didn’t know any other course but to wrap it around myself and wear it like armor. You have a choice. You can do better for your child than your mother did for you. Better than I did for mine.”
When Cam awoke, he wasn’t sure she’d ever been there. But her words remained, and with a groggy head he got up to face whatever the day would bring.
At one in the afternoon, Mari cringed with her first pain.
Cam’s heart shattered.
Their time was nearly over.
…
Mari gazed down at her daughter with a tumult of emotions whipping around her like winds on the moor. She felt all of them so much clearer than ever before.
The fear she’d felt before twined around her heart and grew to include her child. What dangers would she face in her life that Mari wouldn’t be there to protect her from?
Other feelings emerged. Anger at the duke for condemning her to death by his own actions. Sorrow for the loss of her mother: she wished her baby had a loving grandmother to watch over her. Excitement for what their child would become.
In the mess of emotions racing through her, it was joy that washed everything else away as she was swept up in the love that took over her entire being. Tears of happiness streamed down her face as she looked up at her husband.
“You did well, lass. She’s beautiful.” Cam’s voice shook as he touched their daughter’s cheek. “Elizabeth.”
They’d decided on the name only weeks ago. It was her sister’s middle name, and they both hoped it carried Kenna’s strength.
The babe looked even smaller when Cam took her in his large hands. He placed a kiss on her forehead and walked over to the window where the sun was just beginning to light the sky.
At that moment, Mari could almost believe they were in a different place. Home, in Scotland. And that they would be free to live in peace. No Ridley or magistrate waiting to take her to the gallows. Just Cam and Lizzy living in the house they would have built in that field where she’d unintentionally married the large Highlander she would grow to love with all her heart.
Life would have been so wonderful.
As happened every morning, a knock came two hours later. Each day someone came to see her. They wanted to confirm she remained on the premises and ascertain if she’d yet delivered the child.
This time the runner, Adam, was shown into her room and blushed at the state of things. She was still abed with her hair down and unkempt.
“I hope I find you well, madam,” Adam said. He was a polite young man despite the duties he was forced to carry out.
“As well as can be expected,” she offered.
“She’s lovely,” he added with a genuine smile that faded from his face when he turned back to her. “I’ll not say anything today, but tomorrow I’ll have to report back that you’re fit to stand trial. It will be a few days until they can prepare.”
“Thank you, Adam.”
“Please forgive me. I’ll leave you to your celebration.” He stood and left the room, taking her dreams for hope and a future with him.
The next few nights as Lizzy slept in her cradle, Mari went over every detail she could think of.
“Don’t be too ghastly when she takes a liking to a lad,” she told Cam.
“You jest. I’ll not let a boy near her. I was a lad— I know what they think.”
“You can’t keep her locked in the castle forever.”
“Aye. I can. I’m sure to be bigger than her.”
“Cam, I’m being serious.”
“I am as well.” Though he winked at her.
“Do you not want her to experience love, as we have?”
Cam winced and glanced toward the cradle. “Mayhap when she’s older I might come around to it, but right now I just want to protect her from everything that could possibly cause her sadness.”
Mari understood. This was something that became more acceptable to a father later. But she didn’t have later, so she needed to tell him everything she wanted for their daughter now. While there was still time.
“If she shows an interest in things that are not ladylike, encourage her anyway.”
“Love, I don’t have the skills to encourage the ladylike pursuits, so you can be assured I’ll encourage the others.”
“Kenna will help.”
“She will? Are ye certain?”
“You read her last letter?” Mari guessed.
“The one where she told you she wouldn’t help raise your child so you needed to stay to do it your own self? Aye, I read it.”
“She’ll come around. She doesn’t have it in her to turn our daughter away when Lizzy needs a woman to guide her.”
Cam didn’t answer. For a moment she thought maybe he’d drifted off. When she looked up, she saw him staring at the ceiling. “What is it?”
“I’m sorry, Mari. I canna do this any longer.”
“You can’t do what?”
“Lie in bed with you and plan a future without ye.”
“But there’s so much I want you to know.” And so little time.
“Let’s run away. Tonight. We’ll be out of England before daylight.”
She sat up and winced, still tender from giving birth. She’d never manage to sit a horse, even if there was a chance.
“Cam, we can’t. The house is guarded. They’ll see us leave, and you’ll be arrested. We’ve talked about this.”
“Nay, you’ve talked about it. If I can come up with a way, will you at least hear it?”
“And spend the rest of our time arguing over false hope?” She kissed him, and he kissed her back. “I’d rather lie in your arms and know that you and Lizzy will be safe and happy.”
He let out a breath and nodded in agreement.