“Hey, little monster, why aren’t you letting Mommy get any rest? You know you’re cock blocking me big time, right?”
I grin as Knox raises his arms and babbles something totally incoherent that only his mother ever seems to understand.
“Roman!” Elizabeth hollers from our bedroom. “Watch your mouth. Don’t curse in front of the baby.”
Knox giggles as if he understands every word I’ve just said and his mother’s response. Hell, maybe he does. I wouldn’t put it past Elizabeth to have given birth to a genius.
“Relax, nerd,” I say, practically laughing myself. “Go back to sleep or something.”
“He’s probably hungry.”
“How can you be hungry, dude?” I ask him in a small voice. “You just drank from my favorite tit.”
He babbles a string of nonsense words together with the most stern look across his face. I’m pretty sure this little boy just cursed me out. I pick him up and sniff his butt. Great, I smell nothing putrid. I slide my finger inside of the diaper to feel if he’s wet (he’s not)—perfect. So the only thing left to do now is feed him again like his mother suggested, although I’m not sure where he’s putting all of it.
“You must have one hell of a metabolism,” I whisper in his ear as he babbles with great inflection.
“Is that so?” I say in response, chuckling to myself. I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about, but it’s definitely something.
I dip my head back into our bedroom. “Is there a bottle in the fridge?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then we’re good.”
“But I—”
“Duchess, I don’t care if you go back to sleep or get ready for your call, but I’ve got this. Give Mommy a kiss, little monster.”
I walk back over to Elizabeth and lean in with Knox tucked under my arm like a football. She gives him a sleepy kiss on his mouth.
“Love you, peanut.”
Turns out that allowing him within a few feet of his mother was a bad idea because our new little master manipulator cries as soon as I pull him away.
“Give him here,” she commands.
Elizabeth holds her arms out for me to hand him over.
“No.”
2
ROMAN
“Just give him here, Roman.” She makes the “gimme” sign with her hands. “Aww, peanut, don’t cry. Maybe I should just nurse him instead.”
I see the tears of mama guilt swell in Elizabeth’s eyes.
This shit has got to stop.
“Duchess, babies cry, especially this one. It’s what they do. He’ll stop once I give him the bottle.”
“I don’t think it’s just that he’s hungry. He misses me. I bet it’s because I don’t spend enough time with him.”
With him? Shit, she doesn’t spend enough time with me, but this isn’t the time for that conversation.
“I am familiar with having a shitty mother and you are not that. You are a fantastic mom who runs her own business, which means you’re busy, not negligent. We will figure it out and Knox will be fine. He’s got the both of us.”
I rub my hand down the front of Knox’s face to wipe the tears and snot away and he giggles. I think Elizabeth and I have made the happiest or craziest boy on the planet. He flips from crying to laughing in a fraction of a second.
“See, he’s fine.”
Elizabeth smiles and I feel her sense of relief deep in my chest. It’s my job to protect her in every way, physically and emotionally, so when I’ve done my job right I feel a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes I think the responsibility of taking care of her and Knox are the only two reasons I get up in the morning; like they’re the only two things that stop me from becoming my baser self and breaking a man’s neck when somebody inevitably pisses me off. They are my life and keep me grounded and motivated. Everything I do now, I do for them.
“So what have you decided to do, beautiful?” I ask her.
“I know it’s a Saturday, but I’m going to take the call.”
“So go brush your teeth, take a shower, then handle your call. Me and the little monster are going to have a long conversation about how Cookie Monster handled Elmo like a boss in the last episode we watched.”
“What are you talking about, crazy man?”
“It was a good character building episode. Cookie Monster is the only Muppet that is always sure of what he wants. A monster after my own heart. He wants cookies and that’s it. If you’re not talking shit about cookies, then he isn’t interested.”
Elizabeth lets out a laugh at my commentary, a genuine laugh, and my dick damn near gets hard as a rock as I watch her full tits bounce in her tiny, white tank top. It’s been forever since I’ve been able to make love to my girl the way she really likes it—hard and nasty. That’s because there are a myriad of time constraints, two leaky breasts, and one crying baby that gets in the way all the damn time.
I try to remember my stepmother’s words at times like this, “this too shall pass” but right now Juliette’s words don’t hold any comfort for me. All I can hear is the annoying voice in my head whenever I take a whiff of Elizabeth, much less look at her.
You need that pussy, but you ain’t getting some today.
“Only you could make that analogy of a beloved childhood character.”
I think Elizabeth just said something, but I don’t even know what it was because I’m staring at her tits and ass with nefarious intent. Her eyebrows raise once she notices what’s up.
“Uh-uh, Roman, I’ve got to shower and your baby is hungry,” she says with a warning.
“You mean the baby who’s happily playing with my ears right now? The baby who couldn’t care less about a bottle of milk?”
Knox has some sort of fascination with ears and earrings. Elizabeth can never wear any dangling earrings around him because before you can blink, he’s already tossed one of them clear across the room. On top of being good-natured, good-looking, and smart, my son also seems to be athletically inclined. I see a major baseball or football career in his future.
“Roman.”
“Baby, why don’t I put him in the playpen with a bottle of your gently warmed breastmilk and come take a shower with you.”
“I would love that but my call is in twenty minutes and nothing that the two of us ever starts finishes in twenty minutes. Plus, it’s not a good idea to leave him alone with his bottle. He’s too young. What if he chokes?”
“I don’t think this boy has ever wasted one droplet of your milk. He definitely will not choke on it.”
She turns her lips up at me like I’m being a bad parent.
Hmm, maybe I am.
“Okay, fine,” I bargain. “You know I’m not all about the quickies, but how about I take care of you in under ten minutes? Knox can stay in the room. Problem solved.”
“Roman!”
“What? We did it before.”
“He was six-weeks-old then. He didn’t know what we were doing.”
“And you think he knows what we’re doing now?” I ask incredulously.