There were so many things she wanted to say but...she didn’t. “Okay then. I guess I’ll just...see you later.”
With a curt nod, he turned and walked out the door.
If anyone were to ask him, Colton would say he felt good right now. There had been a problem and he handled it without losing his cool and without groveling for Susannah to take him back.
That was progress in his book.
There was still the rest of the day to get through and he knew that meant spending all that time with her once he got back to the inn. She had a habit of watching him work and asking all kinds of questions and he had no idea how he would handle it if she did that today. Maybe she was okay with the way things were between them, but he still wasn’t.
And as he pulled back into the driveway a few hours later, he still didn’t know what to expect.
Rather than go to the front door and walk through the house, he opted to walk around the outside and set up his tools and ladders under the deck. He had everything just about set up when he heard footsteps over his head. Part of him wanted to howl to be left alone, but there was part of him that was still a little desperate for the sight of her.
She came down the steps and found him securing a ladder against the house. He purposely did it so he could keep his back to her for a little bit longer while he got his emotions under control.
“Hey,” she said as she came closer. “Did you have time to stop for lunch? I could make you something to eat.”
“Uh…thanks but...I grabbed a burger on my way back.”
“Oh.”
Colton moved around her and began putting the bit on the drill and loading his tool belt with all the screws he was going to need.
“So, how many of those brackets do you need to put on?”
“Eight.”
“And how long do you think it will take?”
He knew what she was doing – it had always been their thing and normally he didn’t mind talking to her while he worked.
Just not today.
“Hopefully just an hour or two. But there’s a box with the new solar lights in them near the bottom of the stairs if you’d like to take them and line the paths a bit. I bought six for the base of the deck stairs and then a dozen to go along toward the gazebo and another dozen leading to the pier.”
“I’m not sure I’d know…”
“You just take them from the box and push them in the ground. No other tools are necessary. After that, the sun will charge them and tonight you’ll see how well they work.” He turned his back to her again and began to climb the ladder, hoping she’d get the hint and let him be.
She did.
Two hours later – as he had predicted – he was done. Susannah was still milling about in the yard, pondering the perfect placement for the solar lights and Colton allowed himself a minute to simply observe. Even from across the yard he could see the way she was biting her lip as she stuck one of the lights in the ground. Then she stood up and inspected her work while trying to push her long bangs from her eyes.
He knew her every mood, her every pose, every movement – had memorized them over the last year. And even as he watched her now, he could almost hear her second-guessing her decision on where she placed the lights and wondering if she should have let him do them instead. She had done that so many times over the course of the renovation. Susannah had incredible taste and a strong work ethic, yet she lacked the confidence in herself. No matter how many times he praised her or complimented her, she always found it hard to believe him.
And believe in herself.
If he stood here much longer, his thoughts were going to take him places he didn’t want to go. He had gotten the work done, took pictures of everything and sent them to the city inspector to show it was all done and scheduled the inspection for the following day. Next he packed up all his tools and supplies and began carrying them out to his truck. Once that was done, he had no choice but to seek Susannah out and let her know he was finished.
Walking around to the back of the house again, Colton noticed she was no longer outside. Climbing the deck stairs, he went to the kitchen door and knocked. It felt ridiculous considering he had full run of the place just a few days ago, but he didn’t want to overstep his bounds.
Her smile was warm and welcoming as she opened the door. “You didn’t need to knock,” she said softly, stepping aside for him to come in. “Are you all finished?”
He nodded and explained that he’d be back with the inspector in the morning.
“And you think everything will pass? There won’t be any other issues?”
“I’m going to be here with him so if anything comes up, I’ll handle it. There shouldn’t have been any issues as it is, so if this guy is going to be a ball-buster, I’m going to be one right back.”
She smiled at his words. “Can I get you something to drink? Some water? Sweet tea? Or…”
“I’m good, but thanks. I need to go check on the guys over at the yacht club job. I left them with a list of instructions, but…”
“It’s after four, Colt. I’m sure they’re gone by now. You always end your day at 3:30.”
Damn. She was right.
“Yeah, but…I need to go make sure it all got done and check in with Jake about some inventory issues,” he said, not looking at her. He was studying his boots and wishing he could just leave.
“This is crazy,” she said after a minute, her voice laced with frustration. “We need to be able to spend time together without you trying to run out the door, Colton!”
“I’m not trying…”
“Yes, you are!” she cried. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us! We’ve spent far too much time together working toward the same thing and I hate that you don’t seem to want to be here with me to see it all through.”
He studied her hard for a moment. “So that’s all this is? About the inn?”
“Um…”
“What is it you want from me, Susannah?” he asked wearily, his hands dropping to his sides helplessly. He didn’t want to argue with her, but he certainly didn’t want to just be her buddy or the contractor who helped with the inn.
“I just want to talk to you, Colton. I miss talking to you.” The sad look on her face told him she was just as miserable as he was. He wanted to tell her she wasn’t being fair, wanting to have her cake and eat it too. Unfortunately, this was all new to him and he had no idea what the rules were.
“We’ve been talking all day and...and I just think it’s best if I go.”
She took a step toward him. “You know what I meant. We spent all day talking about the inn and the work you were doing. I want a chance to sit and talk about you. Us.” She paused. “How are you doing?”
He went from feeling sad to incredulous. Was she serious right now? “How am I doing?” he asked with a hint of sarcasm. Over the last year he had never shied away from expressing his feelings in front of her. He knew he was capable of being angry, but never once had he directed that emotion at her.
Until now.
“Um…”
“I’m miserable, Susannah!” he said loudly. “You turned my whole life upside down Saturday night and I’m still reeling from it! How do you think I’m feeling?” He hated seeing her flinch, but she needed to understand just how hurt he was.