“Um. Maybe I’m missing something but I’m not super hot on that metaphor.”
He did a hand motion of a roller coaster dropping off the edge and crashing into the couch. “That’s your future. Welcome to the ride.”
Mia kicked him, Ronnie hit him, and Oscar nodded in total agreement. Sidney merely looked back at me and smiled.
Even crashing head first into the couch might not be so bad if Sidney was waiting to hear all about it.
* * *
I stayed later than everyone else, helping clean up, enjoying the bone-deep familiarity of Mason’s company. I told him about Deb’s project and request for a verbal contract.
“Sidney says I’m afraid of commitment.”
“Preaching to the choir. I know exactly how afraid of commitment you are, babe.”
Like I said: have blushed in Mason’s living room before. Will do again. “I still can’t believe I called you that. I was so nervous. It felt like I was chaperoning a blind date between you and them.”
His brow furrowed all disbelievingly. “Wait, what?”
“That was Mia’s plan. Fix you up with the first new queer we’ve met in months.”
“Wow. I can’t decide if I’m more touched or offended.”
I shrugged. “She has good intentions. It’s like she has some kind of compulsion to marry everybody off.”
He tilted his head to the side and tapped his chin as if deep in thought. “Um, nope. Just me. She never tries to set you and Oscar up with people.”
“Yeah, but until five minutes ago I didn’t date, and Oscar’s...”
“Oscar,” he finished. “Well, maybe I don’t want to be set up with people.”
I waited.
“Okay, I kind of do. Fuck, I don’t know. Everything seems hopeless. Maybe if this thing with Sidney works out they can set me up too.”
“Oh my god, there is no thing with Sidney. Jesus! We did one twenty-minute video and now everyone’s convinced we’re soulmates! What is that, contagious?”
He eyed me with way too much speculation. “Pardon me,” he said delicately. “I meant this thing where they’re setting you up with dates. I meant if they set you up with someone you hit it off with, maybe they can do the same for me.” Then he just looked at me, mouth an unimpressed line.
Oops. I hunched deeper into my chair. “Umsorry.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I may have jumped the gun there.”
“Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. I saw the way you looked at them tonight.” He gestured between me and an imaginary floor-sitting Sidney. “You like them.”
“No!” I protested. “I mean, yes, I already said I like them. Obviously. I’m not, y’know, pining for them.”
“You’re crushing on them.”
“I’m really not.”
His unimpressed lip line got even thinner.
“Maybe just the slightest tiniest little bit. But that’s it! It’s the fun kind of very minuscule crush, not the actionable kind.”
“Oh, tell me another one, baby boy. Why wouldn’t it be actionable? You like them, they like you.”
“Listen, you’re making too big a deal of this. I’m a guest on their show. It’s a professional relationship, not a personal one.” Though I couldn’t help but think about how they’d said not dating was a guideline, not a rule.
Mason rolled his eyes. “Riiiiight.”
I was too lazy to find something to throw at him. “I’d throw something at you but nothing’s within easy reach.”
“So sad.” He glanced at his phone and made a face. “It’s late and I’m getting old. You crashing here or going home?”
It was tempting. Mase made really good morning coffee. “I’m feeling the need to act responsible. And also to wear clean clothes tomorrow.”
“Yeah, big change for you, first day of a new work commitment.”
I gasped. “How dare you ruin this for me! Calling it a commitment! You need a spanking, mister!”
He stood up for the sole purpose of wiggling his ass in my direction. “Come and get it, Mr. Big Shot.”
“Tut tut. Don’t try to lure me into your clutches.” I dragged myself out of the chair and picked up my sweatshirt. “Thanks for hosting drinks, it was a nightmare of affectionate humiliation.”
He kissed my cheek. “Anytime. Text me when you get home.”
“A dick pic, right?”
“Maybe just a link to some of that stellar phone porn.”
I punched him on my way out the door.
Chapter Six
Date #1’s actual name was Destiny, and we met up at the restaurant she’d suggested. She was shortish with a shaved head and she was rocking a pair of rainbow boots I immediately wanted. (A friend had made them for her, but she offered to send me a link to the tutorial they’d used.)
As far as first impressions went, we liked each other and weren’t wildly uncomfortable, which meant...so far so good?
I had the gourmet nachos plate, which included roasted red peppers and a cheese I couldn’t identify but found ecstasy-inducing. I had to control my mad enjoyment for fear of scaring Destiny, who was handling her food a lot more casually.
First dates are probably universally awkward. I hadn’t gone on a lot of them. It wasn’t the same in college where people hooked up and maybe that developed into A Relationship, or directly after college in the brief time I’d gone out before Mason and I got all serious.
We did some small talk type questions—where are you from (she was local), what do you do (vet tech), what do you like to do (both of us liked cosplay)—and it wasn’t too awkward. On a scale of “watching an embarrassing part in a movie and making a face because: awkward” to “watching an embarrassing part in a movie and leaving the room to play Sims until the scene is over because: awkward,” small talk with Date #1 was probably right around “squirm a little in your chair but still have the presence of mind to eat more popcorn” awkwardness.
Within acceptable range for a blind date, in other words.
We had more games in common than we did anime, so we laughed about best characters/weapons/lines of dialogue. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite lines of game dialogue. Destiny’s favorite Overwatch line was Zenyatta saying, “I am on fire...but an extinguisher is not required.”