Chapter One
Here’s how my friends describe me to new people: “This is Declan. He left his last boyfriend at the altar, so watch out.”
It’s mostly a joke. Mostly. Not that I left my last boyfriend at the altar—that part’s definitely true. But watch out is just a playful warning. Besides, I swore off romance after that. No one really has to watch out for me.
It was ages ago. The leaving-Mason-at-the-altar thing. The swearing-off-romance thing is ongoing. Though I guess “This is Declan. He swore off romance, so watch out” has less of a ring to it.
Leaving your boyfriend at the altar is the kind of meltdown no one gives you the chance to grow out of. Six years later my friends are still merrily using that line at parties. Case in point: Ronnie and Mia’s Christmas recovery party, where the sparkling apple cider I was valiantly drinking in place of alcohol wasn’t even close to taking the edge off my mood. And that was before Mia grabbed my arm and whispered, “There’s someone I want you to meet, they’re new.”
I love Mia, but she is absolutely one of those I found true love and now everyone else should too types. I had just opened my mouth to protest when I caught sight of The Only Human I Didn’t Already Know and shut it real fast.
Average height, shoulder-length dirty blond hair, angular chin with a few spare whiskers, and red-framed glasses. Who on earth wears red-framed glasses? Were they one of those people who had multiple pairs and matched them to their outfits? But no, no red anywhere else, all the way down to their plain black shoes.
Please don’t let them be one of those people who wears fashion glasses. I adjusted my prescription lenses and prepared to judge. If those frames were the real deal, though, I was already intrigued. Because seriously: who wears red-framed glasses? Maybe I shouldn’t be quite so quick to tell Mia off. She only had my best interests at heart, anyway. That and fulfilling her desire to play a romantic matching game with every human she knew.
She leaned in. (Goody; gossip.) “They’ve only been in town a few months and I think they might be perfect for Mason. Don’t you? Not too tall, not too built. Smart, but not intimidating. They have a YouTube advice channel, so there’s no way Mason will feel inferior, right?”
“Oh, burn.” I secretly loved it when lesbians got catty, but one must maintain appearances.
“Hush, you know what I mean. He’s so sensitive about relationships.”
The thing about that whole unfortunate leaving-Mason-at-the-altar fiasco was that Mia had been in the limo when I’d opened the door on the way to my own wedding, seen all those faces staring at me, panicked, watched Mason’s grin freeze (then wilt), and pulled back into the limo like a turtle into its shell. An effect I immediately ruined by crying dramatically, “Get me out of here!”
I’ve done a lot of guilt for that moment, but I think for her own penance, Mia plans to fix Mason up with everyone she knows until one sticks...to his crotch. Or I guess his heart. Whatever. She’s gonna marry his ass off as soon as he falls in love with someone for longer than two hours.
He’s weirdly commitment-averse for someone who desperately wants a partner. Can’t imagine why. Cough, cough.
Now that we were close to The Only New Person in the Room, I could see that they were wearing prescription glasses. Damn. Mason arguably deserved first pick of the proverbial fish in the proverbial sea. It was an ethical principle. And I was an ethical man. I sighed and hoped this particular fish was... I didn’t quite wish they were awful. I just hoped they were awful for me, to save me the pain of wanting them only to watch them drift off with one of my best friends. To the altar. Where they would undoubtedly not leave anyone standing, ever, with a grin wilting on his face.
“Sidney, this is Declan. He left his last boyfriend at the altar, so watch out.” Mia beamed as if she hadn’t said this dozens, if not hundreds, of times before.
I readied a perfect I am not an asshole expression and shook their hand. “It was years ago and I haven’t been anywhere near an altar since, I promise.”
Sidney’s hand was cold, but their smile was warrrrrrm. “I’m not interested in altars, so you’re safe from the temptation. Good to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too. You might be careful around Mia, here. She’s in a bit of a ‘fix everyone up’ phase since she got engaged.” So there, lady.
Unfortunately Mia didn’t seem the least deterred. “It’s not fixing people up, it’s just introducing them. We have this friend Mason I think you’d really like.”
“Why?”
She blinked. “Why what?”
“Why do you think I’d really like him?”
“I guess because...he watches a lot of YouTube?” Mia, cheeks pink, continued quickly, “And he’s a lovely person, and you seem incredibly kind and well spoken, and—sorry, are you exclusively into women? Or nonbinary folks? Did I get that wrong?”
I bit down on my tongue trying not to laugh.
Sidney’s expression landed somewhere in the my, what a fascinating specimen you have here zone, but they didn’t look annoyed. Just detached. “I’m not exclusively into anyone, no. It’s more a skepticism about the process by which people decide other people would fit well together.” They shrugged. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not looking to be set up with anyone.”
“Totally get it and I’m sorry I assumed. Do you want to meet some people, though? Aside from the ones at work?” She nudged me. “We get together for drinks once a week. It’d be low pressure and more queers. If you’re...into that sort of thing.”
This time I did laugh, then plastered both hands over my mouth.
Sidney genuinely smiled. “I am into queer people, yes. Definitely. Drinks sound good. Thank you for inviting me.”
“You’re so welcome! Ronnie will be thrilled too!”
Ronnie and Mia were more or less joined at the hip. Not that I judged. Whatever makes people happy, right? Especially when they’re your friends.
“Anyway, why don’t you two do phone numbers and Twitter things or whatever, and Dec, if you want to give Sidney Mason’s info too, that’d be great.” She waved. “I need to go check on food, but I’ll see you around.”
They leveled a look at me. “She’s not going to let go of this setting me up thing, is she?”
“Honestly, it’s been a year and a half since she and Ronnie decided to get married and we keep thinking she’s going to stop doing this, but so far she hasn’t.” My strong ethical principles forced me to add, “Anyway, everyone likes Mason. It’s a pretty safe bet that you will too, even if you don’t want to date him.”