But...something was missing. There was no spark, no excitement. Her pulse didn't pound and she didn't get breathless when she saw him even though he was quite good-looking. Today they were having lunch together because he needed to fly out on the red-eye for a business meeting in San Francisco.
"I was thinking about getting us tickets to a show for next week," Grant said, digging into his salmon. "What do you think?"
What did she think? She didn't know.
To be honest, she'd barely paid attention the last twenty minutes or so.
I was thinking about Ryan. Dammit.
"A show? That sounds like fun."
Setting his fork on the side of his plate, Grant dabbed at the corners of his mouth with a napkin. "Your expression doesn't match your words."
"How so?"
"Your words said it sounded like fun but your face looked like I was inviting you to a root canal with no anesthesia."
Luckily, Grant was smiling so he wasn't upset.
"I...don't know why my face was doing that," Mariah admitted with a sigh. "I haven't had a great couple of days, to be honest."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
He was a nice guy. Really nice. She should be really attracted to him but...she wasn't. There was no zing.
I want the zing. I admit it.
"It's sweet that you offered but I think this is something I'm going to have to work out for myself. I'm just not the most patient person and I want it all to be fine right away."
He nodded in understanding. "I get that. I can be impatient as well."
"You seem pretty calm and relaxed," Mariah observed.
"I try but everyone has their moments." He leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table between them. "You can talk to me if you want. I'm a good listener."
Did Mariah even want to talk about it? And with Grant? One of the main rules of dating was that you didn't talk about an old boyfriend with a new one.
"I guess I'm still upset about my friend Brad," she finally replied, taking a more neutral path. "It's all been such a shock."
She'd mentioned the situation to Grant so he knew some but not all the details.
"You and Brad were close?"
"We were all part of the same friend group, but no, we weren't best friends. But we all hung out together throughout our youth."
"Then it must have been hard when he disappeared."
"It was the not knowing that I think was the worst. Everyone had their own way of dealing with it. Some of us sort of made up stories in our heads about what might have happened. Apparently, Brad used to joke about faking his own death and running a tiki bar on some tropical island."
"Faking one's own death is probably harder in real life than it is on television or in the movies," Grant said with a smile.
"I know," Mariah conceded. "But none of us wanted to really admit that he might be dead. Now we can't be in denial anymore."
"What did happen to Brad? Was it an accident?"
"Probably not, although we don't know what really happened that night. Ryan is here investigating for the family. He's one of our friend group that became a cop. He's talking to everyone about that night and trying to put together what might have really happened."
Grant reached for his water glass. "Ryan? That's your ex-boyfriend, isn't it?"
How on earth...? Liza. It had to be. She'd fixed them up.
"Yes, although I'm left wondering how you knew that."
"When Liza gave me the rundown about you, she said that you'd had two major relationships in your life - your marriage and Ryan Beck. You were with him a long time."
"That's true."
"Was it an amicable split?"
"Yes, there was no histrionics, no screaming or yelling. We both agreed it was for the best."
"So seeing him again isn't strange?"
It was strange. Very strange. And disturbing. She hadn't slept well last night and it was all Ryan's fault.
I wonder if he still has insomnia. He never slept well.
"I saw him at Liza's wedding," she said, dodging the question. "We have friends in common so it's not like I haven't seen him in the last decade."
His gaze was intent as if he could see far too much truth. Did it show that Ryan could still make her crazy?
"We decided to be friends," she continued, her words rushed. "And it's for the best. That way Liza won't feel so weird when we're all together. We were friends before we dated and now we're friends again. It's working fine."
"Mariah, you are a terrible liar. Just horrendous. Don't take up poker for a living."
Crap, it did show. This wasn't good news. Could Ryan see it, too?
Sighing, she took a gulp of her iced tea. "Am I that bad?"
"Maybe not to the average person, but remember I am a professional. I'm a jury consultant, Mariah. It's my business to see what people want to hide from others. Body language is more than a hobby for me."
"He'll be gone soon. He never stays in Chicago very long."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"I–I'm okay with it. Like I said, we're friends. That's it."
Grant's gaze dropped to his hands and then back up to her. "I think...that just maybe...this guy affects you more than you want to admit. I think you still have feelings for him."
She shook her head, denying his words. "No, I don't. It's been over for many years."
"You know, it's really okay," Grant replied with a grimace. "I like you, Mariah. You're beautiful, funny, smart, and talented. You're exactly like the person that I've been hoping to find."
There was a but at the end of that sentence.
"But?" she prompted.
"I kind of get the feeling that you're not into me."
It appeared that he could read her like a book. She wasn't sure she was a fan of that.
"I like you a lot. You're a great guy. Really terrific."
"There was definitely a but at the end of that sentence," he said with a grin. "But I just don't do it for you, right? It's okay, Mariah. I promise I won't get all weepy and start writing bad poetry."
He didn't seem the type, honestly. Her ego should be a tad more bruised but it actually kind of helped that he wasn't heartbroken. She didn't want to hurt anyone.
"I'm a terrible person," she stated firmly. "I should be head over heels for a guy like you. You're great."
"You are not a terrible person," Grant laughed. "Not even close. It's just not happening for us and that's okay. I'll tell you what...how about you and I be friends and you and your ex-boyfriend rekindle your romance? I think you still have some feelings there."
"I do," she admitted and not happily. "But I don't want to have feelings for him. There were good reasons we split up when we did. We were both so young and we hadn't experienced anything of life. Plus, Ryan is so damn stubborn. Do you know he never admitted he was wrong? Ever. Well, until yesterday. He admitted it then and apologized but that's how stubborn he could be. He didn't want to compromise on anything."