I couldn’t find words, I could only do what I could to comfort him with my touch as I stroked my hands across his back and arms.
“She fought like a wolf possessed, injuring all of them badly enough that they would eventually bleed out. She saved my life, but she didn’t save her own. There was no mental link, no way for me to call anyone to us. I was little and slow, and by the time I was able to get back to the pack house and bring her help, my mother was gone. Unlike you, she got a chance to tell me she loved me one last time.”
“Goddess, Ari,” I sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s one of the reasons I wanted to protect you when you got here. To keep you away from everyone.” He wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I remembered the comments, even as a pup. The whispers that tear you apart. I was their future alpha, a pup too young to have done anything against full grown wolves, and they still whispered. I didn’t want the same thing for you. I wanted you away from all of that.”
“Ari,” I breathed, resting my head against his chest. “You didn’t have to tell me.” I turned eyes still full of tears up to meet his. “I’m glad you did, I want to know about you, but I know what it’s like to rip those wounds open.”
He stroked a finger across my lip. “It still hurts, Penny, I won’t lie to you.” My stomach clenched at that. “But it doesn’t hurt quite like it did. In some ways it hurts simply because it doesn’t hurt, because I’m guilty that I’m not as sad. In some ways it hurts because it’s fading away, because I can’t remember what she said to me when we were searching for the shells, or I can’t remember what her hair smelled like, or what her laugh sounded like. That’s its own kind of pain.”
I tilted my head, considering his words. “I can understand that.”
“When I lost my mom, Penny, I closed everything off. If I couldn’t have her, then I wouldn’t lose anyone else. I wouldn’t lose a packmate again. I would be the strongest wolf there was. Then you showed up and you were this threat to my pack. You were all color and fire and change, and my wolf wanted you.” His eyes glowed blue, his wolf pushing to the front, brushing against me even as he held me tighter. “Not because of a promise I made, not because of a debt I owed, although that’s what I tried to convince myself. I wanted you because of who you were. You were strength and fragility all wrapped up in this crazy, beautiful package, and it was like nothing I had ever seen before.” His blue eyes were brilliant now, glowing as bright as the sea glass behind us. “My wolf sees you as mine, Penny. You’re my opposite in so many ways, my match in others. I’ve nearly lost you twice now. You died in my arms. There’s so much coming, and I’m not going into the unknown without telling you how I feel about you—I can’t. I’m not fighting it anymore. I’ll wait if that’s what you want. I don’t mind the others, they’re good for you, but I want you for my mate, Penny. I love you.”
“Ari, I…” My heart stuttered in my chest as I tried to grasp what he was saying. “Mating?” The word squeaked out. “That’s like marriage, right?” Oh, goddess, I was going to faint.
“It doesn’t have to be now,” he told me softly, brushing gentle kisses over my lips. “You’re still human in so many ways, pretty girl.”
“I definitely am in this way!” I yelped. “That’s, I mean, this is, I don’t…” I was rambling now, struggling to find the words. I hesitated, pulling back to study him as I chewed on my lip. “That wasn’t just to get me in bed, right?”
A snarl worked its way up from his chest, and Alarick’s eyes flashed blue. “Use your power on me.” Command laced his words, and slowly, I could feel my power tingle against my skin, called forth by his own as he gripped my chin in his hand. “I can’t believe I even have to say this. I would never, ever lie to you to get you into my bed.” He said each word deliberately and succinctly, staring right into my eyes, his lips peeled back into a grimace. “You are used to humans. That’s to be expected. That behavior would not be tolerated here. I would not lie or manipulate you to get you into bed. Should you choose to let me touch you, and I hope at some point you will, it will be your choice. My offer of mating is not contingent on sex.” No sparks flew marking a lie, and he let his own power lapse, lowering mine in response, a growl still rumbling in his chest.
I huffed at his irritation. “I thought it was a fair question,” I mumbled.
“A human question.”
“I was a human,” I argued.
“My human,” he retorted, nipping my ear. The gesture shot heat through me, and a small moan slipped from my lips.
He tilted my chin, kissing me softly. “Anything between us is yours to control, Penny.” His blue eyes were warm as they met mine. “I may be dominant in bed, and I will be in the future, but our first time together will always be by your command.”
I paused, considering that. Was that what I wanted? I would have been lying to myself if I said I hadn’t thought about which of them would take my virginity. A blush infused my cheeks at the notion, and Alarick arched a brow, searching my eyes as if he could read my thoughts there. I was grateful that no one was shifted at the moment, I really didn’t need these thoughts channeling down the bond. “Would… would being the one to take my virginity bother you?”
Alarick made a choking noise before leaning his head against mine. “Bother me?” he growled. “Why would that bother me?”
I shrugged, weaving my fingers through his. “You’re all experienced. I mean, I’m not an idiot. Dealing with a virgin isn’t going to be the most pleasurable thing for you.”
“Sweet,” he murmured, claiming my lips again. “Anything you gift me is pleasurable. Any touch or taste. Your experience level doesn’t change that.”
I hesitated for only a moment more before I pressed my lips to his, the kiss tender and drugging. “I can’t promise to mate with you, Ari,” I told him when I pulled back to catch my breath. “I care about you.” More than care about him, the voice in my mind screamed at me, but I pushed that down. There was only so much I could deal with at a time. “But mating is a really big deal and I’m still only seventeen. I’m not ready for that, and I don’t know when I will be.”
“I know, sweetheart,” he soothed, kissing my temple and threading his fingers into my hair. “I just needed to tell you how I felt. Just in case.” I shivered at the fear that crept up my spine. I didn’t want to think about just in case. “However long it takes, I’m here. I’m yours, Penny. I just want you to know.”
“Take me to bed, Ari,” I whispered, my gaze meeting his. “Please.”
Chapter Nine
Pixie
His eyes flared with heat, his hand stroking into my hair as his gaze searched mine.
“Are you sure?” His voice was no more than a whisper, but I heard him without a problem in the silence of the room. “I don’t want to push you, sweetheart.”
“You’re not,” I promised. “I want this. I want you.”