He arched a brow and cocked his head to study me. “Did he now?”
“I told him I wasn’t even sure about love yet, let alone marriage,” I rambled on, unable to stop the words now that they’d started. “I mean, I’m only seventeen. I’ve known you guys for two months. I care about all of you. You’re my family now. But marriage?” The word was nearly a screech as I shook my head. “I don’t know if I ever want to get married. I never really even thought about it. It was always just Mom and me. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do when I grew up. Now I’m a werewolf. I’m a pack beta. I’ve killed someone. I’m supposed to protect a moon blessed pup and bring together werewolves and he’s talking about mating me!” The words were tumbling out faster than I could stop them. “I’ve just had sex for the very first time! And what would that mean for all of you? I mean, could I mate him and then keep seeing all of you? Would that make me an alpha? Would I still be able to mate with Shannon? How would any of that work? I don’t know if I want my own pup—” Ian’s mouth cut off my babbling, his hands firmly holding my hips still as his mouth plundered mine.
“Easy, kitten.” He smirked as he released me, my chest heaving as I sought air. “You don’t have to mate if you don’t want to. You can mate twenty years in the future if that’s your wish. You can take more than one mate if you desire to, but the highest-ranking member of a mate pair will match ranks. For example, if you and Shannon were to choose to mate, her rank would then be elevated to beta unless you were to step down to her level. I know all of this is moving fast and it’s confusing, but you lead it. If you don’t want to mate, you say no. If you don’t want to announce your feelings, then don’t. If you never want pups, you don’t have pups.”
I sighed and leaned against him. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m cut out for this beta thing. I feel like all I’m doing lately is freaking out.”
“Let’s see. In two months, you’ve fought one duel as a human, saved a pup, died, changed into a wolf, trained countless hours, fought multiple times for our packmates, seen things within our pack that have gone unnoticed for years and fixed them, taken on a role as a pack beta as you learn an entire culture and pack history, saved a pup again, fought another duel and basically died a second time, and have been beholden to a goddess—all while dealing with your own struggles and, frankly, being a teenager.”
I snorted. “You make yourself sound ancient.”
“Older and older every day,” he retorted solemnly. “You’re due for some freak-outs, as you call them. And may I point out that in none of your so-called freak-outs are you worried about your own well-being? Your focus has been on how you may be hurting others and what can happen to our friendships and relationships in the future. Your focus is on us rather than on your safety. Kitten, most wolves in your situation would be railing over how they could keep themselves safe with so little training. How unfair it is that the universe has picked them as the savior for a race that isn’t even their own. You’re fretting over the fact that you’re loved and you may hurt them because you aren’t sure if you can love them back.” He kissed me softly. “I’d say you’re doing just fine.”
I blinked at him as a blush heated my cheeks. “Well, if you’re going to get all logical on me…” The door behind us opened, and Chann and Shannon walked in, arguing between themselves.
“Pixie!” Shannon cried, hurrying over to hug me. Ian moved back to allow her easier access, and Chann did the same. From the indrawn breaths that were quickly covered by coughs, it was easy to guess exactly what they smelled.
“Ari. Move on.” My tone was flat, and I waved a hand.
Shannon giggled. “Okay then. I take it you’ve had about enough of that.”
“To last a lifetime.” I sagged dramatically. “I didn’t even get a chance to have my cereal.”
“I’m afraid snack time will be further interrupted,” Ian remarked dryly. “I believe they’re waiting for us downstairs.”
I froze, worrying my lip with my teeth. “Enough of that,” Shannon scolded, sliding her thumb over my mouth to prevent my teeth from doing any more damage. “You’re worrying for no reason, love.” Her green eyes were soft as they looked into mine. “I would never put you in a position to be hurt, would I?”
“All of the pups miss you, Tinkerbell,” Chann assured me. “Every single one.”
“If that was supposed to be subtle, you failed miserably,” I remarked dryly, hopping from the counter.
Chann grinned and scooped me up to spin me around. “Why go with subtly? I was just stating the truth. They all miss you. I swear, if Borris wasn’t away with Raff, he would have been up here by now to kidnap you to their rooms before this. The only reason Zelda hasn’t lured you away with cookies is because she’s got her hands full.”
“How is she doing? Has she had better luck reaching Borris?” I still didn’t like Borris and Raff being out of touch. While my friends insisted it was normal, my wolf snarled her displeasure at the pack’s separation. I liked Borris, he had been one of the first to accept me here, and Raff had looked out for me as well. Them being away was driving me slowly insane.
“Come on,” Chann encouraged, tugging on my hand. “She made caramel fudge brownies this morning. If we’re lucky, the pups won’t have eaten all of them.” I laughed, letting him lead me from the study. I could go for a brownie, even if I didn’t want to handle this meeting.
The omegas’ chambers were loud as usual with the pups playing some kind of game that involved lots of running and jumping. It took me a moment to realize they were playing lava, and giggles overtook me. Apparently, that one crossed the werewolf/human divide as they jumped from furnishings to pillows, leaping around the room as we watched from the entryway, the scent of caramel and chocolate hanging in the air. Ian nodded sharply to two large wolves I didn’t recognize, and I realized they must be the bodyguards he had chosen for Luna.
“Beta!” Valerie yelped, nearly toppling off of the pillow she’d just landed on. Little bodies tumbled and froze as they turned to face the doorway. It only took a moment for the pups to come barreling across the room, their game of lava forgotten, to throw themselves at the four of us in pursuit of hugs, kisses, and general affection.
“Up!” Louve demanded, his red hair standing up in spikes, stamping his foot as he tugged at my leggings.
“We waited and waited for you,” Bella told me in a rush, her dark curls tumbling over her face as she breathlessly tried to tell me about her game, with Owein and Rolf chiming in with their own comments and opinions about her stories as I patted heads and shoulders as well as I could in the middle of the bedlam. My eyes tracked to where Zelda held Luna, her blonde hair a curtain over her shoulder. She watched me with her golden eyes as she rested in the woman’s arms.
“Alright now,” Zelda called out. “Why don’t we let them inside before you maul them?” She shooed the kids back, letting us step inside the room. “I’m sure she’ll want to visit for a little bit, but how about we get some treats out first? I know those brownies are ready to cut.” Excited cries rang out as the children ran for the little kitchenette. “You can use my sitting room, dear,” Zelda whispered to me, waving a hand at the door to the side where I’d gotten ready for the masquerade. “The brownies will keep them occupied for a bit.”