“She sees all of his circle as a threat,” Shannon murmured.
“Rhiannon too,” I added with a sigh, rubbing at my brow. “Even with Zev questioning people here, there’s no way to test if someone has been manipulated. For all we know, we have an army of zombies at our back.” I looked at them pleadingly. “My wolf is going insane—I’m going insane.”
Alarick sighed, stroking a gentle hand across my cheek. “You’re not. There’s a reason we want this done in front of a mediator and witnesses, Pixie. We know Gwyar is going to try something.” He tugged on my hand, settling me down on his lap.
“So what can we do?”
“We’re heading right from here to Ocean Mist territory. He has to let us reach the territory for the challenge to be acknowledged,” he explained. “It’s why I worded it the way I did. If he were to intercept us on the way and try to challenge me, I wouldn’t have to accept, and all of you would be able to offer backup.”
I nodded that I understood. “And if he cheats? The way Ashley did?” I shivered at the memory of the vervain coursing through my body, the way it had burned as it had eaten away at my insides.
“Then I kill him before his cheat kills me. The same way you did.” Alarick kissed me lightly. “And let you and Fillian patch me back up again.”
I groaned, shoving his shoulder. “I still don’t like this.” I chewed on my lip before he tugged it from my teeth. “Luna comes with us,” I decided, feeling a pang in my chest at the thought of leaving the others here.
The others began to protest, but I lifted my hand.
“Selene said she was our priority, right? To keep the moon blessed safe. There’s no reason to go after the other pups, and Zelda and Borris can help keep Raff safe while we’re away, but I don’t trust that someone won’t turn on Luna if Gwyar has ordered them to. If she’s with us, she can’t be used against us,” I reasoned.
Alarick sighed. “Will it make you feel better to have her with you?”
“A little.” Very little, but they didn’t need to know that. My wolf was still going mad inside me. There was something we were missing, I knew it, and I wasn’t going to lose any of them. I didn’t care what it took—they were my friends. My family. My everything. I—
“Well, fuck.” My eyes widened as I stared up at the ceiling.
“Language, Ms. Miller,” Ian rumbled, reaching out to squeeze my knee. I swatted him away and pushed to my feet, beginning to pace again.
“Didn’t you just get her to stop that?” Zev drawled, flipping himself right side up again. “I thought we just did this merry-go-round.”
I turned to stare at them, taking them all in. None of us were in our school uniforms anymore since Alarick had ascended to alpha, but for the upcoming meeting we had all dressed well, and in the pack colors of blue and gray.
Shannon was beautiful in her navy dress, her dark hair in an intricate braid across her shoulder, her soft green eyes catching the light behind the wire frames of her glasses. Zev’s shirt was the color of moonlight, his pants a dark gray, surprisingly unwrinkled despite the way he lounged even now against the couch with a smirk on his lips, his reddish hair tousled. Chann was in blue rather than gray, the navy sharp against his tan skin and green eyes, as his laughing gaze stared at me from his spot on the floor. Ian was serious as ever in his dark gray three-piece suit, regal as a king on his throne where he sat on his chair, his chocolate eyes sharp behind his glasses. Alarick’s blue gaze was soft as he watched me, his navy suit perfectly fitted to him as he pushed to his feet, his hand held out for mine.
“Penny?” he asked gently. “You ready for this? They’re your pack, Beta.”
I stood, frozen to the spot as my heart pounded, and their faces went from amused to concerned. “Pixie?” Shannon murmured carefully, moving to stand. “What’s wrong, angel?”
What was wrong? Nothing. Everything. “Just… give me a second,” I wheezed out, managing to hold up a finger.
“What happened?” Chann inquired, also pushing to his feet as I headed to the kitchenette to lean against the countertop for a minute. “I missed something.”
“If you did, I did too, bro,” Zev muttered. “She’s pale as a damn ghost.”
“Kitten, talk to us,” Ian demanded. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, turning back to face them as I gripped the counter hard in my hands.
“You’ve all given up so much for me. You blindly sacrificed for my life, not knowing what the cost of the magic would be,” I whispered, looking between them.
“And we’d do it again,” Chann stated fiercely. “You’re ours, Tinkerbell.”
“You’ve taught me and fought for me and helped me face all of these changes. You stood by me in a duel. You helped me get justice for my mother.” My knuckles were white now as I squeezed the counter harder, my heart thundering in my chest so loudly I could barely hear my own words. “You all told me you loved me. You let me explore who I was, what I wanted.” They were all frozen, watching me warily as though they thought I was about to cut and run.
“Kitten, is that what this is about?” Ian’s voice was soft as he held his hands up. “I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, but we all do love you. That means we want you to be happy. If that means choosing one of us, or none of us, we will support you. We’re your pack, kitten, and that’s not going to change.” His dark eyes held mine. “You’ll never lose us.”
I sucked in air, forcing out the words I needed. “Total honesty, right? That’s what makes this work.” I looked at each of them in turn, unable to move but needing to explain, to make them understand. “I think the human part of my brain finally caught up with the wolf part, because I finally get it.” I sucked in air, forcing out the words. “I just, I need you to listen. I realized that I couldn’t handle losing any of you. I’ll take down anything that threatens you. I don’t care what it costs me, because if they take any of you, it will break me. Lupine Hollow is my pack, but all of you, you’re my heart. I love all of you. I’m in love with all of you.”
None of them moved as I rambled.
“When Selene brought me back, my body was wolf, but my mind was still human, and I kept telling myself I couldn’t have all of you. You’d hate me in time for it. You’d make me choose. And I know you said you wouldn’t, but that kind of thing only happens in stories, not to people like me. It was all so fast and part of me kept thinking it was just the magic, you only wanted me because Selene linked us, it was part of the cost, you know? And that someday, my part of the cost would kick in and that would be losing all of you. But I don’t care—if I have to fight to keep you, I will. I love you, all of you, so much, and I can’t risk us going out there tomorrow without you knowing it.”
I sagged backwards, feeling the counter dig into my back as fear clawed at me. None of them said a word, all of them continuing to gape at me in utter shock after my manic outburst, and I rubbed at my face as embarrassment stained my cheeks with heat.
“Um, so, what happens now?” I squeaked. Alarick’s eyes glowed, the neon blue pulsing brilliantly, and a wave of heat washed over me, nearly knocking me off my feet as I staggered. I barely caught myself before I hit the floor. “Ari?” I gasped, but I was up in his arms in a moment, his lips capturing mine in a deep kiss.