Harvard nodded, already trying to think of exactly how they should do this. “You can show me how dating works. Practically.”
Aiden’s voice was somewhat distant. He was sitting still. Perhaps he was planning, too. He was very good at seeing the weak points in a plan or an opponent. He was the smartest person Harvard knew, and Harvard had never been so glad to have Aiden on his team.
“Sure. This is my area of expertise. You can practice dating with me.” Aiden’s pause lasted a fraction of a second. “For Neil.”
Something about that made unease drum a warning beat in Harvard’s chest, but Aiden was right. Harvard needed to get better at dating so he could win back Neil. Second-guessing a plan was fatal. A captain had to be confident.
“Here’s the most important thing to remember when we’re planning,” Harvard said, falling back on what he was certain of. “The thing that can’t change. I don’t want to—mess anything up or blur the lines between us. We’re best friends.”
“Always,” said Aiden. “That’s the most important thing. You’re the most important thing. Trust me, I know how dating works. It doesn’t matter, and this wouldn’t even be real dating. It doesn’t mean anything. It won’t change anything. I promise you.”
Harvard nodded slowly. Right. Of course dating didn’t mean anything to Aiden. It was the fact that Harvard was so clumsy at this, so new, that was making him hesitate.
Actually, the more Harvard thought about the idea, the more he thought it was his best plan ever.
Learning how to date was so uncomfortable and stressful. Harvard worried at every turn that he was doing it wrong, that he wasn’t living up to other people’s hopes of what he could be. Aiden wouldn’t have any false expectations of Harvard. Aiden knew Harvard, everything about him, dreams to doubts, in-jokes to night terrors.
“Well…,” said Harvard. “I would like to try. If you’re sure you don’t mind.”
“I’m sure,” Aiden said.
As easy as that.
“How…” Harvard swallowed. “What would we do? If we were dating. Let’s plan it out. I wanna come up with a dating strategy.”
Aiden’s mouth formed a thoughtful shape.
“We take it step by step. I’ll pick you up, we’ll go on a date or two. And I’ll teach you some moves. If you want me to.”
Harvard had made no mention of moves, but they were part of dating. He was aware of that.
Harvard suddenly didn’t feel equipped to deal with this situation. This had always been Aiden’s territory, and Harvard had always stayed away, as though it were a place on a map marked Here Be Dragons. He’d asked Aiden to help him, and he did really want Aiden’s help. Very badly.
Harvard swallowed and said, “What else?”
“I suppose you could walk me to class,” suggested Aiden.
Harvard raised an eyebrow. “I do walk you to class. Otherwise you don’t go to class.”
They exchanged a smile.
“Ah, but if we were dating, you would carry my books,” Aiden said.
“Why aren’t you carrying my books?” protested Harvard.
“Because you’re a gentleman!” Aiden said triumphantly, and hesitated. A new thought seemed to occur to him. “If you wanted to start slow you could… hold my hand.”
That was starting slow. The idea of it shouldn’t have hit Harvard with shattering force. He really was hopeless at this dating thing. Harvard bit his lip, not able to help himself.
“If people see us holding hands in the hall,” Harvard hazarded, “they might think we’re really together. I wouldn’t want to cramp your style.”
Aiden’s mouth curved. “Let people think what they want. People are used to seeing me with one guy or another. I don’t care.”
Another snag in the plan occurred to Harvard.
“I care if it’s my mom,” Harvard stipulated. “My mom can never hear of this!”
Aiden raised an eyebrow. “I thought your mom liked me. But, fine, agreed. I won’t text your mom with any fake news. What else do you not want? Tell me.”
Harvard’s mom did like Aiden, whom she thought of as being eternally tiny and a total scamp. She’d immediately begin planning a June wedding. Harvard could only imagine Aiden’s horror.
If this went on too long, she would find out, and Harvard would cramp Aiden’s style. He was bound to.
“We should put a time limit on this,” Harvard suggested.
Aiden nodded crisply. “Fine. Let’s take the week. Friday night you can go back to Neil, wow him with your new skills, and make it official. What else?”
Aiden’s tone was extremely brisk and businesslike. Harvard’s head was whirling.
“Um…,” said Harvard. “I don’t know; this is your area of expertise. Like you said. We have to make this plan together. You tell me. What else could go wrong?”
Aiden considered. “Being roommates could make this messy. After a date, we should leave the practice at the door.”
As opposed to taking it inside. Into the room. With the beds in it. Harvard’s mind felt like it was bending and might fracture under immense weight.
“Look,” Harvard said. “There’s one flaw in this plan. I know we don’t talk about it, but it’s pretty obvious. Right?”
Aiden hesitated. When he spoke, he seemed to choose his words with care. “I’m not certain what you mean.”
Oh God, was it not obvious?
Harvard would have to say it.
“I don’t think you understand the profound depth of my inexperience. I’ve never even kissed anybody!”
This seemed to take Aiden aback. Harvard had feared it might. Probably Harvard didn’t even qualify for practice dating. Obviously, you didn’t plan a team strategy with someone who’d never fenced in his life before.
After a stunned pause, Aiden said carefully: “I thought you and Neil must have—”
“No,” said Harvard.
A few times, Harvard had thought a kiss might happen. Both nights Neil had let Harvard take him home, Neil had lingered, talking to Harvard on the porch for some time as though he might be waiting for something. But Harvard had no idea how to make the first move.
In retrospect, Harvard regretted the motorcycle. He thought the motorcycle might’ve led to Neil having certain expectations of Harvard that Harvard couldn’t fulfill.
“Oh,” said Aiden, softer than breath.
He was probably wondering what he’d got himself into, and how to get out of it. They’d known each other since they were five.
Since they were five, Harvard thought with sudden misgiving. Surely that would make everything weird.
No matter what people said about Aiden, Harvard knew he didn’t just indiscriminately kiss everybody. Usually, Harvard imagined, the people Aiden did kiss tended to know what they were doing.
This might be a solution to Harvard’s problems, but Aiden didn’t have any problems in this area at all. He should give Aiden the chance to back out gracefully.
“Look,” said Harvard. “We’ve known each other a long time. I understand it might feel… very weird to try anything.”