“Why did you bring me here, Noah?”
He cocked his head. “I wanted to show you who I was.”
And he had. He wasn’t playing the douche bag, nor was he trying to impress me with over the top treatment. He was just being himself, and it wasn’t fair that the real him was more irresistible than the handsome stranger who lived across the hall.
Everything was normal here. My phone hadn’t rung. The costumes I wore in the city were out of sight and out of mind. I didn’t know who I was when I stood in his home, so many miles from my own. I didn’t know how to act or be with him.
But I wanted him, and I didn’t want to think about the consequences for once in my life. I wanted to live in the now and experience the fantasy because he made the possibility of normal seem so tangible I could reach out and grab it. I just had to find the balls to give in.
I glanced around the empty house. “No one’s coming here?”
“They’re all in Florida. We have the house to ourselves.”
“You want to stay here tonight?” I inwardly winced, not used to asking. I kept waiting for my assertive self to take the lead, but for some reason, it wanted Noah to call the shots. Maybe that way I could blame him in the morning.
“Only if you want to stay.”
I shrugged—more shy bullshit I wasn’t used to—my fingers tracing over the polished banister that led to the second floor.
“I’m not sure what I want. You confuse me.” The honest vulnerability kept leaking out. Damn it, Avery. Where are you?
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing.”
“Maybe it is.” It definitely wasn’t good.
“Care to find out?”
My gaze lifted to his and a shiver shot through my system. This was so different from everything I thought I wanted, everything I knew I needed. Despite my wishy-washy words, I had to be clear on the outcome.
“What happens tomorrow?”
“We go home and see how things play out.”
So this could still be just one night. I could live with one night. It was the thought of more that scared me.
When would I have another opportunity like this with him, alone and isolated from the stresses of the world, away from the city and the life it represented for me? If we both treated this as a one-time thing, we might be able to stay friends. He’d have it out of his system, and I’d prove that—in the long run—he wasn’t the right man for me.
Glancing down at my feet, I slipped off my heels and set them on the first step. “Show me your room.”
“Really?”
I nodded, too afraid to talk.
His fingers slid alongside mine as he took my hand and led me upstairs. The quiet seemed to echo through the empty, immaculate home. We stopped outside of a closed door, and he faced me.
“I… I don’t expect anything, Avery. Don’t think just because we’re here, I assume…”
Why did he have to be sweet now? I needed him to be transparent as much as I needed him to be unwavering and sure of what he was asking. Otherwise, we couldn’t do this. It was now or never.
“I know why you brought me here.”
“Do you … expect…?”
Yes, and so did he. Talking was only jumbling matters. “Let’s not decide what this is and just let it happen.” I reached for the knob and opened the door.
Grays and dark wood, uncluttered by items a teenage boy might have left behind, presented a clean space with subtle personal touches. For some reason, the maturity of the room made me like him more. It spoke of his good relationship with his family and testified he still slept here on occasion, even as an adult.
“This is nice.” I scanned the room and stared down at the bed.
His hands rested on my shoulders as he approached. Slowly, he swept my hair aside and pressed a kiss to my neck, causing my nipples to tighten.
My eyes closed as I drew in a deep breath. His fingers trailed down my arms, over my hips, and across my midriff, teasing the skin of my belly.
“I’m not going to lie, Avery. I want you more than my next breath.”
I leaned into him, passively resting my arms at my side, wondering how long I could let someone else take the lead. Eventually, I’d take over, but this was nice. His fingers trailed up my stomach, teasing soft circles on my skin.
He was like a magic snake charmer or some sort of wizard. No one else settled me the way he did, and it was strange that he somehow subdued my usual instinct to take the lead. His teeth scraped along my throat, and I sucked in a sharp breath that exhaled as a moan.
“I think you like when I’m a little bit rough, don’t you?”
Mmm… Rough was the only way. “Yes…”
“I can do that.” His hand slid under my loose sweater and cupped my breast, his thumb dragging slowly over the tight tip. “You liked when I pinched your nipples, too, didn’t you?”
“Mmm…” I had been a mess after leaving his apartment that night.
“What is it you want, Avery? To be loved or fucked?”
Love? My mind shied away from that sticky word.
Love was uncomfortable, a source of guilt and obligation that led to grief. No matter how much I might want to be loved, it wasn’t what I wanted tonight.
I wanted something I could count on and judge at face value, without accidentally mistaking it for more.
“I want you to fuck me.”
His hands yanked my sweater over my head, and in the next second, I was facing him, his fingers buried in my hair, angling my head back as his lips sealed over mine.
He backed me toward the bed, his tongue devastating my mouth as it plunged deep, silently delivering promises of what was to come.
Noah was a man who kissed with his whole body. When his mouth was on me, so were his hands. His front pressed to mine as if we were melded into one and I savored every inch of warm, hard contact.
“I love that you’re not fragile.” He tugged the straps of my bra down my arms, and I pulled free.
If only he knew how breakable I was. How broken. Grasping at his broad shoulders, I deepened the kiss.
“You’re a greedy little thing, aren’t you?” His fingers shoved into the front of my jeans, tugging my hips closer to his as his erection pressed between us. “I can’t wait to get in your pussy.”
I gasped as he shoved me onto the bed, his tall body towering over mine. Holding my gaze, he reached behind his head and stripped off his shirt in one forward yank.
My mouth went dry. How was he so built when he hardly worked out? Or did he, just not at the same times I used the gym? He flicked open the button of his jeans but left the zipper intact.
“God, you’re fucking sexy.” His mouth devoured the sensitive curve of my neck as he lifted my arms. “Keep them up.”
I stiffened, his command grating against my nature and calling up all my usual instincts. “I don’t bottom.”
There she is. Finally, the Avery I knew and loved was getting into the game.
Noah chuckled, dragging his hand up my spine to flick open the first hook of my bra. “What does that even mean?”
“It means I don’t play the submissive in bed.”
He laughed and yanked my knees forward until I was flat on my back. “We’ll see.”
No, we wouldn’t, because I wasn’t going to lie there like some fuck doll for him to boss around. I didn’t follow directions from men off the clock. And if this was truly going to be a one-time thing I had only this one chance to show him what it meant to fuck me.