“It definitely sounds like you.”
“Thank you.” She smirked and winced. “Oh Xander, I just realized I didn’t get to do a painting for you.”
I chuckled. “That’s okay.”
She paused for a moment and brought her hand to her cheek. “What will you have to remember me? I wouldn’t have given you anything you could remember from me.”
I shook my head and looked her over then placed a hand at my heart. “Here. I remember you here.”
For now.
That was the plan. For now, whatever that meant .
It was something that gave me strength and something to hang on to.
This was goodbye for now.
Her eyes brimmed with tears and she blinked a few times then moved to sit next to me. I placed my arm around her and met her half way as she came forward to kiss me.
We kissed and kissed.
Like yesterday, it felt different. More sensual. Because it was. We were something more.
Yesterday I’d allowed myself to fall for her. Another reckless activity on my part. Reckless. That was the best word I could use to describe my actions. Just like everything else I’d done when it came to this woman.
Reckless when I knew the danger in being seen with her. Reckless when I knew being with her was a massive distraction. Reckless when I knew I had responsibilities.
Definitely reckless in the way I’d dealt with Armand when I beat him to a bloody pulp and told him not to fuck with me or my girl. The threat was also a declaration that she was mine. Because she was. She was mine, and I knew the truth of the matter was, that if I wasn’t thinking of responsibility I would have taken her away from this life and had the whole fucking mafia on my ass. I would have fucking done it from the day Giovanni hit her, and we’d barely kissed then. That was me.
That was the guy I was. I would have seen it as a rescue mission, although I would have had ulterior motives in doing so. Knowing I wanted her for myself.
Responsibility to a bigger cause was taming me, making me stop and think about what could happen if I were truly selfish.
That mission in Kazakhstan, when Balthazar took Vlad’s research, was only one of several things that burned in my mind on what could happen at large if I abandoned my duties. On that occasion, The Ra were able to sell the research to a bunch of anarchists similar to them and they made some kind of biohazard weapon they used to attack Sierra Leone. Five hundred people died. Two hundred were left crippled from the attack and while the government was able to rebuild the community to some extent, it was never the same. How could it be with so much devastation?
The worst part, which yes to me was worse than what actually happened, was that the weapon was never retrieved and neither was the research. That meant they could use it at any time. They were probably sitting there waiting for the right time to strike and no one would be able to stop them.
It wasn’t my fault but Kazakhstan felt like a failed mission to me for so many reasons.
That was responsibility.
Recklessness was making me steal this time with Jia.
Everything else I’d done with her might have taken on the edge of madness. I blamed myself for the way that I’d slipped up so badly on many occasions, not this though. Not yesterday and not now.
Me being with her yesterday felt like something I owed myself.
I owed it to us to spend my last day or two with her.
She ran her fingers over my beard and pulled back so she could gaze into my eyes.
“I think the bed is calling to us.” She giggled.
“Yeah. I believe you’re completely right. I can hear it loud and clear. It’s telling me to take you there,” I answered pressing my forehead to hers.
She nodded. “Oh yes. That was the same thing I heard too.”
I moved back, stood up and put out my hand to her to take.
She placed her delicate fingers in my palm and I helped her stand.
Anyone who saw us would never believe the back story. The reality of us. Me the thief, and her the mafia princess who was leaving for Europe tomorrow to marry another man. A man who tried to rape her.
I pushed the thought out of my mind. It was best to.
We left and drove back to her place.
We were talking it up again about music as we got there. She was going to find some to put on when we went in. I knew it was a way of keeping me with her for as long as possible.
I was about to remind her that we had just over an hour, then I noticed something off about the door. We were on the steps leading to the porch.
The door was ajar. We wouldn’t have left it like that when we went out this morning. Frankie was supposed to be watching Jia today. He’d messaged earlier to let me know when he’d be by and it wasn’t supposed to be now. It was exactly when I was supposed to leave. One hour and fifteen minutes time.
So, who was inside?
I pulled Jia close and she stopped talking about her music.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Door’s open.”
“I locked it when we left.”
I nodded. “Exactly.”
Her eyes widened with alarm. “The only person who would come here when I’m not home is my Pa. Xander, you have to go. Please just go. If he sees you…” Her voice trailed off, choked.
“I’m not leaving you like this. We can’t just assume it’s him. It could be Armand.”
“That’s the same thing.”
I gave her a little smile. She’d said she was scared of her father, scared of what he could do. But I wasn’t choosing responsibility because of fear.
“I’m not afraid of your father, Jia. Remember what I said yesterday.”
“I know but it doesn’t make it any less scary.”
“Stay here.”
“No, I have to go in with you.”
“Jia. Stay here,” I told her with more insistence.
She looked antsy but she nodded.
I proceeded forward into the house, leaving her.
There was a crackling noise in the sitting room, sounded like someone reading the newspaper.
When I went in, gun in my hand and ready to fire, I actually froze up. I froze right the fuck up when my gaze landed on Balthazar sitting in the armchair sipping a cup of coffee.
“Well hell, I wondered if you people were going to be away all day,” he stated and set the cup down on the table.
I held the gun pointed at him, but my hands trembled.
Fear…
I’d only had the emotion a few times in my life. The majority of those times were associated with him.
On this occasion I had every reason to experience the emotion.
He was in Jia’s house.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Jia
Choice…
Stay outside and wait for the sound of a fight, or stay outside and wait for the echo of a gunshot?
That was the choice Xander had left me with.
In all seriousness that was it and since I didn’t like either of those choices, I made my way into the house.
Who I expected to see was Pa. It would make sense for him to come and make his presence known after what had happened yesterday with the fight.
I expected some sort of comeback, or, on a minor level, a lecture because tomorrow was the big day. What more could he really do if the iron fist he’d ruled me with had already dealt a powerful blow.