Jess steps away from the door, and I remain seated on the bed for a second, taking in the small room. I’m so tired of being a transient nomad. I need a place to call home. I thought Ella was it for me, but for now, I’ll need a place of my own. Patience, Mum said. Her advice is certainly better than Jess’s and strangely similar.
All I can do now is wait.
+ + +
“Dad,” I begin swallowing around his name. I had no idea how hard this would be, but it needs to be done. “I need some advice.”
My father stares up at me over his reading glasses as I help myself to a seat on the couch in his house. He’s in his old chair, holding a laptop on his thighs. After a night at Jess and Emily’s, I’ve come here with my tail between my legs. I just need to ask him a question. If he says no, at least I tried, and I move on.
“So a lot has happened in the past few weeks.”
My dad closes the laptop, still staring at me. I’ve stumped him with my abrupt entrance, but I carry on.
“I lost my job.”
His shoulders sag, and he looks out at the yard through the front window.
“Then I got another job and lost it, too.”
I close my eyes. It wasn’t a job, though—not really—and what I lost was so much more than employment.
“I can’t go into all the details of it, but it’s how I met Ella.”
My father lowers the foot portion of the recliner and sits forward. Yeah, I still need to discuss his greeting kiss to her, but I need to get the rest of my story out first.
“I’ve made a good deal of money from the position, but I suddenly don’t feel right taking it.” My head lowers, and I scrub my hands along my thighs. “I’m here for your opinion.”
His forehead furrows when I look at him. He’s only in his sixties and still physically fit, but he’s worked hard over the years. He remains silent, and I’m grateful for his quiet.
“I don’t want to take the money because of Ella. I don’t feel right, but I know you and Mum could use it.”
My father’s mouth pops open, but I hold up a hand.
“I’ll take it and give it to you if it will help.”
“How much money are we talking about?”
“Sixty grand.” Jacob paid me ten thousand dollars a week to protect his sister, and I failed. She was found again, almost hurt again, and I fell in love with her.
Dad whistles, staring out the window for a long minute.
“Ethan, that’s a lot of cash, but I think you’ve already answered your own question. You don’t feel right taking that money. If you worked hard and came by it honestly, there wouldn’t be a doubt.”
Hard work is something my dad thinks I lack.
“I don’t want you and Mum to be strapped.”
Dad waves a hand at me and meets my eyes. “You let me worry about your mother and me. That’s my job. That’s what I do. I take care of the people I love.”
I nod, sensing a lecture coming. “I fucked up. I love Ella, and I lost her.” My outburst forces his forehead to furrow once more.
“How’d you lose her so quickly?” He bitterly chuckles, but I keep quiet. After an awkward pause, I realize I’ve made a mistake, and I’m about to stand when he asks, “When did you fall in love with her?”
“When she didn’t want me around.” I laugh at the memory of her fierce attitude and adamant plea to remove me from the house. I loved her temper and her spirit. Her hair and even that damn scar. She was tough on the outside, but inside, I knew she’d be soft.
Dad slowly smiles. “Sounds just like someone I know.” It takes me a minute to realize he means my mother, who always claimed it wasn’t love at first sight with my father. He wore on her, she always teases.
“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper.
“You win her back.”
I humorlessly laugh. “Yeah, well, that’ll be hard because she left.”
“You chase,” he says as if this answers everything.
“I don’t know where she went, Dad. Something happened at the party.”
“I heard about that.” He sits back in his recliner, eyes still focused on me. I don’t need to ask how. It’s a small town and news travels fast. Also, my sister and brother-in-law hosted the party. “Is Ella okay?”
“I have no idea. That’s what I’m saying. I took her home, and she left this morning.”
“Where’s home?” Dad asks, and I turn away from him. I can’t tell him, or can I? How much of Jacob’s and Ella’s identity will come out after this incident? When I don’t answer him, he redirects. “Let me ask this, what are you asking me?”
“If you want the money for Mum.”
“No.” He’s adamant and direct, and his eyes narrow at me. “But what I want to know is what were you going to use the money for, if you didn’t give it to us?”
“That’s part two of why I’m here. I would have used the money for a restaurant. It’s going to hurt not to have that collateral for a loan, but I’ll figure it out. I’m taking a second look at a location in town later this week, though I’m not certain I love it…” My voice fades as my dad holds up a hand to me. Here we go. Cue the speech about owning a restaurant.
“Why don’t you love the location?”
“It’s in town, which means the harbor and summer tourism will help with traffic, but I wanted something more intimate. Someone suggested I use the old barn, but it’s too big. I can’t guarantee to fill the space, and it’s a distance from town. Not to mention, it would need so many repairs.”
“What about the outbuilding?”
I stare at my father. There’s a second low-roofed building on the property a few yards away from the larger structure. The fieldstone structure.
“What about it?”
“Put your restaurant there.”
I stare at my father. “But that’s private land.” I’m stating the obvious. A while back, my father acquired the additional land, thus the second barn and building. All the property is a working orchard.
“Get your loan approved, and then we’ll get some builders to fix the place.”
My eyes don’t leave his face. Is he kidding me? “Don’t you think I’m making a mistake?” I question because that’s what he often says of my life—one mistake after another.
“Do you think this will be a mistake?”
“No. It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time.”
“Then I’d say it’s time to be doing it.” If I expected my father to give a warm, encouraging smile after his advice, I’d be wrong, but he’s obviously just proven me wrong about expectations by accepting my plan and even contributing to it. The smaller building on the property would be perfect for my vision, and suddenly, lots of things I never thought could happen become clear.
“Thanks, Dad.” I swallow around the words and watch as his eyebrows arch in surprise at my words. He doesn’t smile here either but nods once to accept my gratitude.
“It’s what family does, son.”