“Not even your fiancé?” I counter.
He shakes his head. “Not even her. She wasn’t too fond of the outdoors.”
I snort. “The same goes for my ex. Guess we both got involved with people who were our complete opposites.”
“I’ll never make that mistake again.” Neither will I. We finish our cookies and I grab another one and eat it while we drop the picnic basket off at his Jeep. To get to the fire tower, we have to head right back up to our favorite spot and into the forest. It’s quiet and peaceful. All of our memories come back at me full force. When I was with Shawn, I blocked it all out. I didn’t want to remember all the good times Jude and I had; it made me long to get back to them. I thank God every day that I finally had the sense to end things when I did.
By the look on Jude’s face, he’s deep in thought as well. I want to say something, but I’m a little nervous about what he’s thinking. What if he doesn’t feel the way I do? What if he thinks last night’s kiss was a mistake? I know it wasn’t.
It doesn’t take long to get to the fire tower. I have to shield my eyes away from the sun to look up at it. There are a gazillion steps we have to climb to get to the top. Jude glances back at me and smiles. “You haven’t gotten an aversion to heights in your old age, have you?”
“Ha-ha,” I grumble. “Aren’t you older than me?”
He snorts. “Only by a month.”
I follow him up the stairs. “Still, you’re older,” I chide. The bantering is what I always loved about being around Jude. It’s strange how it comes back naturally with him. With Shawn, I tried to joke around, but he always said it was childish. I hate it took me six years to realize my mistake of marrying him. The second I’m at the top of the fire tower, I gaze around in awe. There are mountains all around us. It looks exactly the same as it did years ago.
“What do you think?” Jude asks. “Still beautiful?”
“It’s breathtaking,” I murmur. “I wish you knew how much I missed this.” I walk over and hold onto the edge.
Jude comes up behind me, his body so close. “I wish you knew how much I missed you.” My heart skips a beat and I hold my breath. He puts his hands on my waist and turns me around to face him.
“Same,” I whisper.
He pulls me in to his body, holding me tight around the waist. “Ever since yesterday, I can’t get you out of my head. I don’t know if that kiss meant anything to you, but it meant everything to me.”
The breath I’m holding comes out in a loud exhale. “Oh, thank God. I was so worried.”
Releasing a heavy sigh, he brings his hands up to my face. “I was worried too. I’m assuming you feel the same way?”
I nod. “I do. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
His thumb brushes across my lips. “What do you say we give this a chance? I’m curious to see how it plays out.”
“I’m good with that.”
He moves closer, his lips so close to mine. “You sure?”
“Why don’t you kiss me and find out?”
When our lips connect, I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him to me for as long as I can. He pulls back and rests his forehead to mine. “I wish we would’ve taken the chance earlier.”
I meet his gaze. “It wasn’t our time. Now it is, and I don’t plan on wasting it.”
6
Jude
Now it is. Now it is.
Those aren’t even the most important words Laura said when we were at the tower… I don’t plan on wasting it… could a relationship with her be that simple? I want to believe it is, but there’s a voice—unrecognizable at that—in the back of my head telling me to proceed with caution. The thing is, I want to jump in, feet first, and go for it because I’ve wanted to be with her for a long time, and I know it’s my fault for not telling her sooner for not saying something when she met Shawn. I had my chance when she asked me what I thought of him, but I was the supportive best friend, despite the fact my heart broke with the idea of her falling in love with someone. Sure, she dated all through our friendship, and sometimes the guys were friends of mine, and I never seemed to care. At least, not until she met Shawn. There was something in her eyes, a glint of happiness that I hadn’t seen before, so I kept my mouth shut.
And now I wish I hadn’t because we’ve lost so much time together.
And yet, it seems like the universe is giving us a chance to find out if there is something more profound than friendship between us. There must be because I hold no ill will toward her when I should. She forgot about me. She left us. She pushed our friendship aside, moved away, and never looked back. I should be mad at her, but damn it, I can’t because I’m in love with her. From the moment I saw her in my classroom, from the second our eyes met, I knew I would do whatever I could to make sure she knew exactly how I felt.
It’s Monday. Another day of work. Normally, I would be meh about heading to school. It’s crazy how fast you fall into a routine when the school year starts. Get up, drink coffee, take a shower, dress, maybe get a bite to eat, and head down the hill. When I arrive at school, I usually go to my office, check my email, grade a few papers, and then head to class. Rinse and repeat for five days.
Now, I want to get up and speed through my routine so I can be in the parking lot when Laura arrives. It’s been three days, and I’m already thoroughly smitten. And as I sit in the parking lot, staring at the students walking from their dorms toward the cafeteria or one of the cafes, all I can think is that if I pursue a relationship with Laura, I could lose my job. Regardless of her age, she’s a student, and I’m a teacher.
It’s forbidden.
It’s illicit.
And I want it.
I close my eyes and take a series of deep breathes to try and calm my growing nerves and the hard-on growing in my pants. Just thinking about Laura gets a rise out of every part of my body. The hair on my arms stands on end in anticipation of seeing her today. My heart beats faster than average, knowing she’s on campus, sitting in class, and hopefully thinking about me. My fingers twitch with the eagerness of touching her later, and the thought of touching makes my cock jump because he wants to be near her, rubbing against her in any way he can.
After a few minutes of unsuccessful mediation, probably because the inside of my Jeep still smells like Laura, I realize I could sit in here all day and be content, but unfortunately, I must be an adult and instruct other adults in the fine art of computer hacking. I finally shut off the ignition and get out of my car.
As I walk across campus, there are a couple of young women who say hi to me. I smile and wish them a good day. My co-workers like to give me shit about being the hot guy on campus, but I don’t see it. I’m average, at best. I wear specs, can’t get my hair under control, and for some reason, my mother insists on buying me tweed sport coats to wear, and for whatever reason, I still wear them because I’m too lazy to buy anything else. Yep, it seems I’m the man-child that depends on his mommy for clothes. Hell, she’d probably make my lunch for me if she lived closer, and I’d probably let her.