"Oh, you're leaving?" he asked, looking confused.
"Yeah, I was going to slip out," I said. "I was just helping Tess get everything ready."
"Why would you leave?" he asked. "I was excited to see you—excited to catch up. Can't you just stay for lunch?"
I started to say something but then I hesitated with my mouth open. "I—uh, I, need to… I told Evelyn that I would… I didn't want to…" I spoke slowly as I gazed at him. I realized I was staring, but there was nothing I could do to stop myself.
"You didn't want to, what?" he asked.
"Huh?"
"You were telling me why you were leaving. You said you didn't want to do something."
"I didn't want to… see… you…" I said the words in a dazed sort of state where I could think of nothing besides the truth.
"Me?" Daniel said, sounding genuinely surprised. "You don't want to see me?"
"I do, I do. I really do," I said quietly, smiling and fumbling for words. "I just meant that I feel a little… overwhelmed about it." I paused for a second or two, taking him in and trying to figure out what I was feeling.
"Why are you overwhelmed?" he asked, tilting his head at me.
I tried to step around him, and he put his hand out to stop me. It was what I wanted him to do. I wanted him to stop me. And yet I didn't know what to say now that he had.
"Daniel, I… the main thing I want is for you to be happy." I cut my eyes toward the kitchen. "I know you're happy and your girlfriend is probably great and everything, and that's what I want. I'm glad. That makes me happy." I paused, blinking at him, staring into his hazel green eyes. "I just can't see it," I whispered. "I'm glad it exists, but I don't want to look at it. You can be happy something exists and still not be able to look at it. I hope that makes enough sense and you know it's nothing against you or anything. I really do… love… seeing you… Daniel." My words came out choppy sounding, which only added to the odd things I was saying. I was not expecting any of this and I was having trouble putting my thoughts into words.
Daniel was staring at me like he didn’t quite understand. "Please don't go," he said. "Seeing you was one of the main reasons I came over here. It's been years, Abby."
"I know," I said, nodding.
He obviously didn't understand how affected I was at this moment, which made the whole thing hurt even more.
I knew I needed to toughen up. I owed it to Daniel to make this encounter as pleasant as possible for him. I nodded and took a deep breath.
"I can wait and go to Evelyn's a little later," I said with a smile.
"Thank you," he said. He put his hand on my shoulder. "I know you don't live in Galveston anymore, and I was hoping to catch up while you're here. I haven't seen you in so long."
I just stared up at him. I wanted to pour my heart out. I wanted to beg him to give me another chance. "Yeah, yeah, that'll be good," I said, trying to seem way less shaken than I was.
I had been blindsided by his arrival.
I really wished I had seen it coming.
I fully intended on leaving, but I couldn't now that I had run into Daniel and told him I would stay. I smiled and made my way from the hallway back to the kitchen.
I didn't even look to see if Daniel was following me. I didn't want to walk in there with him. I felt like my feelings were so obvious that I might as well have a sign on my forehead that said I'm in love with Daniel King.
I had to leave him in the dust and go back into the kitchen alone.
I went straight to the baby. Tess was holding her while explaining to Marvin where he could find the extra napkins.
"I'll take her and change her diaper," I said, walking up to my sister.
"She actually does need it," Tess said, handing her to me. "Thank you. I'll feed her after that, and she'll probably take a nap."
I gingerly took the baby. There was so much going on in the kitchen that no one was paying attention to us. I vaguely noticed that Daniel came back into the kitchen and joined his girlfriend who was still standing on the other side. I avoided looking their way.
I took Tara to the nursery to change her.
I stayed back there with her for several minutes. I kept seeing Daniel in my mind's eye. The memory of him in the hallway was too much. I thought of his stature and how it had changed. I thought of what it felt like when he hugged me. He was no longer a boy. He was a man now, in form and in confidence. It made my stomach tie in knots when I remembered the sight of him a few minutes ago.
"Just tell me to forget all about that," I said to Tara, who stared at me from the crib where I was changing her diaper. "Tell me to get that out of my head." I glanced at her eyes, and she stared back, wiggling. I smiled and shook my head like she was saying something to me. "I know. I can't believe he brought her, either," I said. "She's not even pretty," I added, lying.
I fastened her outfit and said a few things to her about other topics. I knew she didn't really understand me, but I didn't want our whole talk to be about Daniel. I told her she was beautiful and pumped her up to go back out there. She liked to look around, but her neck wasn't sturdy yet. I propped her up where she was cradled in my arm but could still look out, and I took off for the kitchen.
Daniel came into the nursery just as I made it to the door. I instantly looked around him to see if he was alone. My eyes snapped up to meet his when I saw that he was.
"I had to come make sure you weren't leaving," he said. "You said you were going to stay, but then you took off."
"Oh, I was just… changing the baby."
Daniel stared down at little Tara, wearing a sweet smile that reminded me of a young, handsome version of his dad. His nose wasn't completely straight. That had happened the first day I saw him. It was better than straight, though, honestly. I didn't know what it looked like before, but I couldn’t imagine liking it more than I did right now. There was a small dent in the bridge, and somehow it was way better that way than if it was perfect.
He came close to us, staring at the baby. I imagined, for a second, that the moment was ours—that Daniel was mine and the baby was ours. It would have been a perfect moment if that were reality. But it wasn't reality, and that harsh truth fell on me like a piano out of the sky when Jayne Mansfield came into the doorway.
"Kelly, come see this baby," Daniel said, without skipping a beat.
She walked into the room, and my heart felt like it was being poured out of my chest. She smiled at me and then at Tara. "Is this your baby?" she asked.
"It's my sister's," I said. "I'm Aunt Abby."
"Aw, she's adorable," Kelly said, looking at Tara. "I couldn't find the restroom," she added, shifting to stare at Daniel.
"It's just right there in the hall," I said. "On the left."
"Do you live here?" she asked.
"Me? No. I've thought about it. I love Galveston, and Tess and Billy have three bedrooms upstairs. But no. I live in Louisiana."
"Are all these people in your family?" she asked me.