“You won’t let any other man touch you. Is that clear?”
I’m too consumed by his devilish fingers to pay attention to his words.
Something brutal and destructive builds at the bottom of my stomach, clashing and smashing with his rhythm.
I can feel that wave. It’s just within reach. I’ve brought myself to orgasm before, but I always held back last minute, afraid of the intensity it brings.
Now, I can’t stop it even if I want to.
You like your will taken, don’t you?
His words draw a fierce sensation in my inner walls.
God. What’s wrong with me?
“Say yes,” he orders, flicking my clit.
The moan escapes from between my lips no matter how much I try to confine it.
He tightens his grip on my neck. “Say yes or I’ll stop.”
His rhythm drops in intensity as if proving a point.
I whimper, eyes bulging.
No. He can’t stop. Not this time, too. I’m there. Almost there.
“I… I…”
“Fucking say it.” He pumps harder into me, causing stars to form behind my lids.
“Yes!” I scream as the sharp power hits me.
I open my mouth to say something, but it remains in an ‘O’ and no words come out.
He stole my ability to speak
To breathe.
To think.
The fierce wave doesn’t let me go. Not really. Not even when he removes his fingers from inside me.
He stuffs his fingers — that still glisten of me — at my mouth.
“Open.”
I shake my head, parting my lips to protest, but he uses the chance to stuff both his fingers in my mouth.
“Do you taste yourself on me, sweetheart, hmm?” He gets past my lips and strokes his fingers on my tongue.
My mouth waters, but I want to shake my head in mortification. The clenching of my core answers before I can utter a word.
“Suck.”
I do, tentatively, just so I don’t drool like a dog.
Tasting myself on him is a strange, out of body experience. But I don’t stop.
I can’t.
It’s like my tongue wants to express something after the sensation he just brought me.
Aiden pops his fingers out as suddenly as he thrust them in, leaving me dazed and still slumped against the car, breathing harshly and unevenly.
Then he does something that shocks the living bejesus out of me.
He drops a gentle kiss on my nose.
His eyes are still dark, but they’re a lot clearer when he says, “Good girl.”
For the rest of the week, neither Aiden nor Xander shows up at school.
They were both suspended.
According to the gossip, Coach has them in a private camp until the end of their suspension as his form of discipline.
No coach would want his two star players at each others’ throat. Especially not in the senior year.
Me? I’m just happy I get space from Aiden.
After unravelling all over his fingers during that rainy night, I need more than space.
I need a continent between us.
How could I give in to him? Climax even?
He’s a sick monster. He’ll only hurt me.
Destroy me, even.
So why the hell can’t I stop thinking about that night?
Aiden still sends the usual dirty texts about what he’s thinking about doing to me once he returns. They get cruder and more taboo by the day. I never read them in front of Aunt and Uncle.
The bastard is ruining me and I have no way to stop it.
Since Aunt and Uncle work over the weekend, I decide to sleepover at Kim’s on Sunday. We have a math test in a few days, so we spend some time studying.
Kim’s house is on the upper-class side. Their neighbourhood screams of wealth and it’s filled with aristocrats and new money. I stand in Kim’s bedroom and stare out the balcony. Xander’s house is across from hers. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like to be neighbours with your bully.
Aiden’s house is down the street. It’s huge and imposing and… lifeless. No one comes in or out.
Aiden must still be at his camp.
Not that I care.
Yellow by Coldplay blasts from my phone and Kim hums along with it as she fishes into her closet.
We just put Kirian to bed after we goofed around with mac and cheese. Kim’s mother is in her studio and is not to be disturbed when she’s chasing after her next masterpiece.
Kir seemed pretty happy with just Kim and me for his Sunday dates.
“What are you doing?” I finally focus on her and all the outfits she’s tossing on the bed.
“Ronan is throwing a party this weekend. He just texted me.”
Since when does Ronan text her?
“You’re really going to Ronan’s party?”
“It’s senior year, Ellie. We won’t live it twice.” She grins, posing with a faux plume scarf around her neck. “Come on, pick something.”
“Pass. I’m not interested in those parties.”
“Stop being Frozen and let’s go.”
“No.”
“One of these days, I’m going to convince you.”
“Never, Satan.”
I’m about to change into my PJ’s when my phone vibrates.
My pulse nearly erupts when I see Aiden’s name.
Aiden: Let’s meet.
I can almost imagine his bossy tone if I heard him say those words. I guess this confirms that he’s back from the camp.
Aiden: I miss you.
Something squeezes so hard in my chest, it’s painful.
How can he say words like that so easily? How can he rattle me just as easily?
Aiden: I know you miss me, too. You don’t have to say it.
Arrogant bastard.
And no, I don’t freaking miss him.
Who misses their tormentor?
Their bully?
Their nightmare?
Aiden: So? Are you coming to meet me or should I improvise?
No idea what that means, but it can’t be good for me.
Elsa: Don’t you dare.
He doesn’t reply.
Goddamn the psycho and damn me for showing that I care.
My gaze strays to Kim. If he’s out of camp, then he must be going to Ronan’s party, right?
“Kim.” I throw my phone on the bed and walk to her. “Don’t go and I’ll watch a Korean soap opera with you.”
She laughs, pulling out two dresses. “We can do that when I return.”
Damn it.
“Xander is back from camp,” I blurt. “You don’t want to run into him at the party, right?”
“Xander can go fuck himself.” Her lips twist in defiance. “I won’t let him ruin my life anymore.”
Well, shit.
It looks like I have to party tonight.
Chapter Nineteen
As Kim and I walk out from her car to Ronan Astor’s huge house, I try telling myself that I’m only here because of Kim.
There’s no way in shit I’m leaving her alone at a party where Xander Knight is present.
Deep down?
I’m at the edge of myself with that damned awareness slicing and clawing at the bottom of my stomach.
This is the first time I’m seeing Aiden after he pushed me against the hood of his car in the rain.