“That a girl. Take a deep breath.”
She drags in a breath and releases it too fast. Fucking cute. I can’t be sure yet if she will find her place in the lifestyle of a little, but I’m certainly hoping she does because outwardly she’s perfect. It depends on what kind of mental blocks she puts up.
I shake that thought from my head. I’m not in this to make her mine. I’m in this to help her find herself. I’m not even close to ready to take on a full-time little again. I’m not sure I ever will be. Losing Stacy brought me to my knees. I don’t think I can go through something like that again.
“Why don’t we start with my expectations of you?”
“Okay,” she murmurs.
“First of all, you’ll address me as Sir or Master Kellen. Even though my job is to introduce you to the world of littles, I don’t expect you to call me Daddy. Not at this stage. You’re not ready for something like that.”
She nods. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl. Next, I want you to fully immerse yourself in the life. Be the little. Twenty-four seven. It’s the best way to get in the headspace and find yourself. You’ll be permitted to ask questions, but I want you to stay in your little space.”
She nods again. She’s a bit pale. “What, uh… um… What age am I supposed to be, Sir?”
“We’re going to try out several ages. I’m going to let you decide each day. I’ve arranged a room for you upstairs and I’ll let you pick your age every morning.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh.”
“Some Doms choose for their littles. I’ve done that in the past. But you’re different. You can’t possibly have a clue what age you might enjoy. I want you to try all of them, but at your pace. In your time.”
She purses her lips as she nods.
“I’ll warn you now that I’m very strict. I expect you to obey me in all things. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself over my knee with my palm on your bottom.”
She turns the most delightful shade of red and squirms. “I’m not sure how I feel about that…Sir.”
“You’ll find out, won’t you?”
She sucks in a breath.
I can feel her defiance. She’s going to challenge me. If any other little came into my home and challenged me, I would put a stop to it in two seconds or send them packing. Something about Sabine shakes my foundation a bit though. I find myself eager for her to defy me. My palm is twitching expectantly.
I watch her closely. “My rules aren’t difficult or outrageous. They exist for your safety and to help set boundaries. Adults who find themselves enjoying the life of a little often do so because they like structure and letting someone else take responsibility.”
She licks her lips. “You should know that I didn’t live a very structured childhood the first time around. I’m an only child. My parents spoiled me. They rarely told me no.”
Interesting. I won’t point out to her that she’s just made my job that much easier. No wonder she’s intrigued by Lucy’s life. Sabine may be screaming inside for structure and guidance. “Where are your parents now?”
“Still in Cambridge. My father’s in banking. My mom’s a professor. They were often busy when I was a child, but I didn’t miss out on anything. I had nannies and cooks and tutors. I wanted for nothing.”
I nod, letting her figure things out for herself. “I won’t be that kind of Daddy, Sabine. I have rules, and I enforce them. Did you never get into trouble when you were young?”
She shakes her head and then switches to nodding. “I mean, sure, I got into mischief. I pushed every limit, but my parents never got very angry.”
“And how did that make you feel?” I ask her.
She frowns and then shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t care. I thought I was lucky. While my friends were grounded on a Friday night, I was always free to come and go as I pleased.”
She has no idea what she’s revealing. Not a clue that she has told me everything I need to know about how to work with her. She’s begging for boundaries, and she will get them under my roof. I just hope she isn’t bratty.
“You won’t be free to come and go as you please in my home, little one. Not for a second. If you want to experiment as my little, you’ll follow my rules. I know you’re not shocked. You’ve seen Lucy in action. Master Roman is a strict Daddy, but he’s fair, and you’ll find me to be fair also.”
She opens her mouth and then closes it.
“Please, speak your mind, little one.”
She clears her throat. “Lucy told me that she didn’t really have a childhood and that’s what appeals to her. She gets to be the little girl she never was. I’m not like that.”
I smile again, hoping that my calm exterior is putting her at ease. “That’s one type of little. There are so many reasons why women prefer to live as young girls. Sometimes it’s the opposite. For example, some women really enjoyed their childhood and want to relive it.”
Her eyes widen again. “That might be more like me.”
“Perhaps.” I’m holding back. She’ll figure out for herself what her reasons are in time.
Sabine tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and I watch it spring right back, trying not to chuckle at her effort. I wonder how many times in her life she’s wasted her energy trying to tame her hair back.
Her auburn curls are loose today. She doesn’t even have a clip. I love her hair. It’s gorgeous. I also can’t wait to restrain it.
“Tell me more about you, little one.” I hold my position, still slowly stroking my chin, not moving more than necessary so she won’t spook.
She tugs her hands out from under her thighs and folds them in her lap. “The truth is that I have everything I could ever want. I have a sizable trust fund, which is why I haven’t been in a hurry to find a job.” She cringes. “That’s rather embarrassing and pitiful isn’t it?”
I shake my head. “Not at all. You just graduated a month ago. You’re still trying to find yourself. If you have the means to do so, you’re entitled to take the time.”
She draws in a breath. “Anyway, that’s how I ended up here. I’ve been thinking about writing a book. The idea is probably far-fetched, but I thought if I researched various aspects of Abby’s life, I might get inspired and learn enough to write a story.”
I unfold my legs and lean forward, putting my elbows on my knees. “So you’re planning to write about the BDSM community? That’s what all the research is for?”
She shrugs. “Maybe.”
“Admirable. Have you been taking notes?”
“Yes. I have a journal. I’ve been writing in it every day. Rambling mostly. But I’ve noted everything I’ve learned so far each day.”
“Good for you. I’ll expect you to continue that process then. Daily.” I lift a brow.
She nods. “Yes, Sir.”
I pause a moment and then continue questioning her. “How many boyfriends have you had?”
She shrugs. “A few, Sir.”
“Anyone serious?”
“I thought so. Apparently, they didn’t.” I can hear the frustration and rejection in her voice. Interesting.