The boat continued on, and behind her, people were beginning to gather. She could hear her name and his name, and when she glanced back, there was at least one reporter gathering his equipment and looking at her with greedy eyes like she was a delicious snack.
She groaned, turning back to watch the boat shrink in the distance, unsure if he’d heard her at all. Maybe he had. Maybe he just wanted to leave the whole situation behind him.
She glanced back to see the crowd inching closer and the reporter running for her. The few closest people glanced out at the water and began pointing, and Elayna turned back to the ocean.
The boat was carving out a large circle, spraying seawater up in a beautiful wall of wake, heading back to shore.
Chapter 15
Elayna walked a steady cadence down the pier, squinting at the driver as he came into view. She still wasn’t sure. Not until he pulled up and lifted his sunglasses off, revealing those ever-stormy blue eyes.
Kayson stepped from the boat with a grim expression. The reporter shouted and cameras clicked.
“If you want to talk?” He gestured toward the yacht, and Elayna jumped on just as people began calling her name, relieved as they jetted away from all the commotion. Who knew what headlines the reporter would make of it, but she didn’t care.
She studied the back view of Kayson as he maneuvered down the coastline. He kept his attention on the water ahead until eventually pulling up to a secluded bit of sand. Wild grass and weeds crowded the edges, making the small beach only accessible by water.
He silenced the motor and turned in his seat. His face was a mildly tortured grimace, and Elayna couldn’t tell if he was feeling guilty or just wanted to get away from everything… Away from her. Whatever it was, she didn’t wait for an explanation and held up the handwritten note.
“You were just going to leave?” she asked, her heart still drumming as his written words repeated in her head. My feelings for you… all my love… Why hadn’t she just bluntly asked about the memo? It could all be a big mistake. Her mind reeled even as she tried to hold her thoughts in place.
Kayson pulled in a measured breath, letting it out slowly. His shirt was blowing in the wind, loose at the neck and fluttering against his defined chest. “It’s the best I could do for you,” he explained. His eyes gazed across the horizon. “I’m so sorry, Elayna.”
She walked the short distance between them even as her heart threatened to leap out of her chest. “I need to ask you this, Kayson.”
His eyes squinted in concentration, and her stomach tightened into a knot at the way his mouth narrowed, accentuating the strength in his jaw.
“I heard you mention me in a voice recording at your house.”
He sat up with surprise on his face but didn’t interrupt.
“I’ve learned a lot about myself these past few weeks, this week especially.” Elayna swallowed, feeling nervous but sure about where her thoughts were heading.
“I’ve been working to become someone stronger, so I can accomplish the things I’m passionate about. Too often, I’ve felt so much responsibility for everyone else and doing whatever they want. I end up with a thousand well-meaning favors and a life that doesn’t feel like it’s mine. I…disappear.”
She allowed her eyes to settle back on his, where there was a torrent of inner thought and analysis that she could see but not hear. He was watching her intently, even in the silence.
“And so”—she shrugged—“when I thought I heard you saying that you were going to use me to help yourself I made a very harsh, rash decision about who I thought you were.”
She hesitated, feeling more comfortable by his side with each minute, although she was terrified to ask the next question. “What I need to know is… Was I right? I want the truth. I can tell when people lie to me, so just say it if that’s what your intention is.”
She felt horrible. Harsh and blunt and judgmental, but there was no other way to move forward. If she was ever going to trust him, his next words needed to be completely honest.
“Your conclusions about me were correct when I made that memo.”
His eyes settled on her with a richness that was mildly unnerving, like he’d pulled back the usual formalities of communication. Like he was baring his soul.
“When I made that memo, I’d just met you, and you treated me like an annoyance and brushed me off.” His mouth lifted into a grin, and his eyes sparkled with laughter, although he didn’t release it.
“When I made that memo, I thought I wanted to shove my success in my colleague’s faces and prove I was meant to be one of them.” He swallowed, shame in his eyes.
“But when I made that memo, I hadn’t known your kindness and calm strength. Your radiance and fun-loving nature. I hadn’t been pulled from my puffed-up reality and down to the warm, sandy earth.” He winked. “I didn’t know about Benjamin.”
Elayna laughed quietly.
He glanced down at her hand and reached for it cautiously, taking it in his and looking up at her. “When I made that memo I was a fool, headed on a fool’s mission, to chase after fool’s gold. I was destined to fail and to fall fast and hard. And maybe I never would have recovered.”
Her heart was still racing, the cool ocean breeze giving her just enough relief from the commotion inside. He was describing a man she could easily fall in love with, and maybe she already had. She allowed her heart to fill her chest, still cautious of trusting it too much.
“But if I had fallen, it would have been my fault, brought on by my own selfish actions. And I would have deserved it, every bit.” He smiled, a flicker of light that passed across his face and lessened the sadness that had been there.
“I’ve done what I can to change the effects my actions might have had on you. It’s my feeble attempt at restitution. I’m hoping that someday I could deserve something better. I could deserve someone like you.”
He left it at that, with his perfect words saturating the air between them. His hand squeezed hers before it dropped. “So yes, you were right, but no it’s not me. Not anymore.”
“Oh,” she managed to say.
The wind blew through the wild grass around them, bending it in a loud, whistling bow. She glanced away, watching the grasses tangle together.
“Thank you for telling me,” she said. “That wasn’t what I’d expected to hear.”
“Mmm.” He looked back at her and seeming distracted by her arms. He brought his hands to them. “You thought I was going to sue you for breaking my window, perhaps?”
She laughed. “I tried calling you—”
“I know.” He was smiling openly. “My dogs say thank you.”
Elayna had one more question, the only thing that was holding her back from his arms. She glanced into his eyes. “So the news articles I’ve seen? The ones about me and you and your business and…”
She shrugged, failing to come up with the rest of her sentence.
“Ah, that.” He took a step closer. “No, they’re pretty far off the mark. But it’s something that comes with the territory. I understand if you’re not interested in a life where there will be speculations and news stories. But there are ways to avoid the press.”