Chapter 1
Elayna was beginning to question her shrink’s sanity. But she didn’t have time to think deeper on that subject, as he was raising his bushy gray eyebrows at her and waiting for a reply. The thought that he seemed much too thin and sinewy to have such thriving brows flitted through her mind.
“And your response to me would be?” he encouraged, with a smile that showed he already knew the answer he wanted.
Elayna blew out her breath and pressed her lips together halfway, puffing out her cheeks. After three months of weekly meetings, he likely knew this as a sign of her frustration. “I just don’t see how this is a realistic commitment,” she started, saying the words through the remainder of breath escaping her mouth. “It doesn’t seem like something that will change anything for me. I mean, what’s so wrong with helping my friends out…and my coworkers, occasionally…and my mom? I have to be able to say ‘yes’ to my mom—”
“No!” Mr. Jerkin slammed his open palm on the table next to them, making it echo through the room. He rose to his feet, although his outburst had done nothing by the way of intimidation. His spindly appendages were hardly commanding.
But in his expression was something Elayna hadn’t seen before, like a teacher during finals week desperate to find even one thing that had been learned. “This is your quest for a day, to change yourself. I can’t do it for you!” He stopped in front of her with his hands on his hips, a kind, soft-spoken grandpa unleashing his worst.
It was endearing.
But it was also irritating. “How can I possibly say ‘no’ to everything?” Elayna dropped her arms to her sides with a flop.
“Well…” He kicked one leg out and began a stiff pacing.
They’d made it to the recap, meaning he was almost finished.
“Perhaps if you want a soft drink with your lunch, you’ll be allowed to say ‘yes’ to that, of course.” He winked and continued pacing. “But if your mother needs you to photograph her client’s wedding—which you don’t enjoy, let me remind you—or your coworkers want to leave for the weekend early, or for vacation early, or for a concert, or a movie, or a date, or…”
“Okay.” Elayna stood, color rushing to her cheeks. When he grouped all their conversations like that, it made her feel like a mushy, spineless sea slug. “I can see your point.”
She clasped her hands behind her back, with a strange rush of anxiety at the thought of agreeing to this. Her stomach twisted. What had happened to her? Was she so weak that she couldn’t simply say no?
Still, she had to take a breath before answering, and her heart felt like it had beat its last and settled in a pit somewhere deep inside. “I’ll do it.”
Dr. Jerkin took two slow steps closer, peering into her dark eyes with his watery, faded brown gaze. “Promise me.”
She peered back at him, feeling strangely connected at that moment, like he’d weaved a kind of spell that she was powerless to resist. “I promise.”
“Great!” He snapped upright and trotted back to his desk. “This is just your first step, Elayna. One very important step. I’d like you to keep a record of your day, and please bring it with you next time. Goodbye.” His grin lifted the folds of skin on his face pleasantly, and then he bent over his desk, becoming quickly lost in a pile of papers.
“Thank you,” Elayna said, although she was already regretting their agreement.
Outside his office, the secretary tossed a small notebook on the desk. It had a miniature pencil attached to it with a loop. “There you go,” she said in a chirpy voice.
Elayna picked up the little notebook. “What’s this?”
“Dr. Jerkin wanted you to have this to keep a record of your day, I believe,” she said kindly, turning back to her computer.
“Oh, yes.” Elayna slid it into the pocket of her windbreaker. “Thank you.”
The woman nodded while still staring at her computer screen, and Elayna left the office feeling a little dizzy. But she was determined to succeed and was already plotting preventive measures if her mother should call. Mostly, they included ways to avoid answering the phone.
Her workplace was conveniently close to Dr. Jerkin’s office, which was how she’d ended up there in the first place. She’d taken on extra tasks four days in a row, and one morning Dr. Jerkin’s office sign caught her eyes. She wandered in and unloaded all her frustration on him, to which he’d responded very little and set up another appointment with her the next month. And for reasons she didn’t entirely understand herself, she kept coming.
The cinnamon spiced smell of freshly made donuts wafted past, and she paused in the morning sunshine. A quaint little donut shop stood across the street, backed by a long tourist beach. It was a beautiful stretch of Santa Barbara sand with the ocean not far beyond. Even at 10 a.m., a few beach umbrellas were already claiming their territory. A typical summer day. By noon, the place would be nearly full of beachgoers.
Elayna pulled a small camera with a large lens out of her canvas bag and held it up, skillfully adjusting the settings before two seagulls dove into the scene, allowing her to capture a beautiful coastal morning photograph. She tucked the camera away and continued down the road to the chic, modern sign that read VisioTec. Clenching her hands into fists, she repeated her goal for the day and pushed the door open.
Most of her coworkers were already settled at their desks, working on the magazine publication that would be going out at the end of the week. But Elayna didn’t work with the magazine… Not unless she was swindled into covering someone’s shift, which happened often. Her work was designing lenses, and her newest creation was being featured in next month's edition. She had to steady her excited jitters at the thought.
Someone glanced up from their desk and caught her eye, and she forced her gaze to the floor as she hurried past. Her desk was in a far corner, which she adored because it was surrounded in windows with a vast view of the coastline.
Approaching footsteps had her busying herself with her burlap bag. Its long shoulder strap could hang comfortably across her body and held a treasure trove of pockets. But not everyone saw its glorious potential, and she’d taken some ribbing since the first day she brought it into the office. Everything from the army-green color, to the large flap that hung over the top, seemed to give rise to teasing. And even though it was always good-natured, she’d taken to fiercely defending it.
She pulled her camera out and set it on her desk, along with a few additional lenses that she didn’t want left in her bag.
“Good morning, Elayna,” her friend Todd greeted. His straight brown hair was stringy and thin and hung in his eyes as he looked down at her.
She smiled while still pulling a notebook and a few choice pencils and pens from their pouches. Everything in its place, just the way she liked it. “Hi,” She kept her voice light and cheerful while secretly dreading any additional conversation.
“How was your weekend?”
She could see his stance relax and his hands sink into his pockets like he was going to stay awhile. His gaze settled on the view, which had her wondering if he was just wasting a bit of time this morning.