“Here.” She pulled out a leaflet and pushed it across the desk. “This explains what happens next. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call the office.”
“I’m flying.”
“Excuse me?”
“Today. I’m flying to Philadelphia to meet some girlfriends.”
“You should be fine, but if you’ve been feeling nauseous then the altitude might not help. And no alcohol.”
“Of course.”
“I’m going to write you a script for some pre-natal vitamins, check your blood pressure, and then you can be on your way. Any questions?”
“I.... uh. No, I think that’s everything.”
It wasn’t.
But I didn’t know where the hell to start.
Dr. Jennifer took my blood pressure, handed me the script, and wished me well. I walked out of there in a complete trance, unable to think of anything else...
I was pregnant.
I barely remembered the flight to Philadelphia. I hadn’t gotten sick, I’d just been stuck in a paralyzing state of disbelief. It wasn’t until Felicity was pulling me into her arms in the arrivals lounge that I finally snapped out of it.
“Hailee, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out, a stream of big, ugly sobs following.
“Okay.” Her eyes went wide as she dug out her cell. “Mya,” she said. “Change of plan. We need to stop at the store for supplies then head straight to your apartment. I’ll tell you when we’re out of arrivals.” Felicity hung up. “Come on, babe. It sounds like we have some catching up to do.”
She didn’t push for answers on the ride to Asher and Mya’s apartment, and I was grateful. I still needed to assimilate my thoughts on everything. But when we pulled into their underground parking lot, I knew my reprieve was up.
I climbed out of the car and went around to the trunk to get my bag, but Flick beat me to it. “I can carry my bag,” I protested.
“Hush, you’ve got to think for two now.”
I shot her a disapproving look.
“Too soon?”
“What do you think?”
“I think you need to explain how you’re pregnant when you told me you and Cameron were going through a dry spell?”
“Seriously, that’s what you’re choosing to focus on?”
“Fee, you’re doing it again,” Mya said.
“Sorry, I’m sorry, okay.” She held up a hand. “I just... pregnant. She’s freakin’ pregnant.”
“Yes, I got it the first time.” Mya offered me an apologetic look. “How are you feeling, really?”
“Confused. Scared. Did I say confused?”
“It’s okay, Hailee. You’re going through something huge.”
“Have you told Cam?” That was Felicity. I pressed my lips together, averting my gaze. “Hailee... you have to tell him.”
“I can’t, not yet.”
He was dealing with something huge; he didn’t need this to worry about.
“Girl,” Mya reached for my hand. “He’d want to know.”
“I need to process it first and then figure out what I’m going to do.”
“What do you mean?” Felicity paled. “You’re going to keep it, right?”
“I...” I couldn’t answer that question. My heart said yes. But... a baby?
Cameron and I weren’t even together. Well, at least, I didn’t think we were.
God. Everything was such a mess.
“I’m still in college. I want to graduate.” Guilt coiled around my heart.
The elevator doors pinged open and we all filed out, heading for Mya’s apartment.
“You can’t be more than, what, two months along?”
“The doctor thinks I’m nine weeks.”
“So you’re due when, June?” Felicity asked, doing the math.
“June second.”
“Perfect. You can take finals, graduate, and then have the baby.”
“And where we will live? What about my plans?”
Her expression fell. “It’s not straightforward, but you’ll figure it out. Besides, Cameron will step up.”
“I think Cameron has enough on his plate.” My heart clenched again. Finding out I was pregnant was supposed to be a happy occasion. It wasn’t supposed to happen now, in the middle of all this.
She rolled her eyes. “You can’t seriously be thinking about keeping this from him because of what’s happening with his mom?”
I blinked away the fresh tears.
“That’s all the more reason to tell him. God knows, that family needs some good news.”
“I’ll think about it. But please, don’t tell Asher or Jason yet. I need time.”
“Hailee—”
“No, Fee, I mean it. I told you in confidence. This is my business. Please respect that.”
She let out a little huff, but nodded. “My lips are sealed.”
“Good.” Because this wasn’t some salacious secret that would cause a scandal. It was the kind of secret that changed lives.
I knew Cameron deserved to know, but I’d walked away to unburden him. If I told him now, I’d only be adding more responsibility to his shoulders.
At least that’s what I kept telling myself, as I followed my friends into Asher and Mya’s apartment.
Cameron
“What will happen to me when Mom dies?” Xander’s words were like a punch to the stomach. I hugged him tighter, running my nose over his hair as I tried to swallow the ball of emotion lodged in my throat.
“You’ll have me and Dad.”
“What about Hailee?”
Fuck. He was really hitting me where it hurt today.
“Hailee and I are...” The truth was, I didn’t know what we were anymore.
We talked and texted occasionally, and she sent Xander these cute little care packages. But we didn’t talk about the elephant in the room.
Us.
When I’d found out Mom was sick again, I hadn’t turned to Hailee. I couldn’t. Instead, I’d steeled myself to be there for my family. Hailee needed to graduate. She needed to chase her dreams, and figure out what she wanted.
I’d always imagined that our life would end up back in Rixon one day. But not like this. Not because Mom was... I still couldn’t say it.
“Did she go back to Michigan because of me?”
I pushed Xander out of my arms and lowered my face to his. “Hailee loves you, squirt. She loves you so much. But I need to be here with you, and Mom and Dad. And Hailee’s life is in Michigan right now.”
“But after college, she’ll come back, right?”
I couldn’t answer him, because I didn’t have one.
I hadn’t asked anything of Hailee since she’d gone back to Michigan, and she’d given me the space I needed.
But nothing about it felt right. I missed her every second of every day. I missed her so much, my soul ached for her.
“Hey, boys,” one of the nurses came out of Mom’s room. “She’s all yours.”
“Thanks,” I said, pulling Xander up with me.