“Don’t get too rowdy, okay? She’s tired.”
“We’ll behave.” I gave the nurse a weak smile.
Xander hesitated when we reached her door, but I gave him a gentle nudge. He was doing better. Since I made the decision to stay in Rixon, my little brother no longer seemed so lost.
“There are my boys,” Mom smiled, patting the bed.
“Go,” I whispered to Xander, my heart swelling as I watched him fall into her arms and bury his face in her shoulder.
“Gosh, Xander, you get bigger every time I see you.”
“Mom,” he groaned, “It’s been two days.”
“Two days too many.”
It was so good to see them together, even under the circumstances.
“How are you feeling?” I moved closer, leaning over my brother to press a kiss to her damp forehead.
“Okay.” I heard the lie in her voice, but we didn’t address it. We never did.
We’d made a promise—Mom, Dad, and I—that we needed to be strong for Xander. No matter how bad things got, we would shield him as much as possible.
“Are you hungry?” she asked Xander. “I heard they’re doing tacos in the cafeteria today.”
“I love tacos.”
“I know you do, baby. You want to go with Dad and get some? He should be here any—”
“Did I hear someone say tacos?”
Mom chuckled and it was like music to my ears.
“Hey, Dad,” Xander said.
“Hey, buddy. Shall we go feed you?”
“Don’t be too long,” Mom called after them. When they were gone, she patted the bed again. “Come closer, sweetheart.”
“Hey, Mom.”
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” she said, and my brows furrowed. “I had a dream last night, and I woke up with the strangest feeling...” She took my hand in hers. “I know you want to be here, and I love you for it, I do. But I think you need to go and see Hailee—”
“Mom...”
“Just hear me out. You know I’m not one for superstition, but I can’t shake the feeling she needs you.”
“If you’re trying to make me feel guiltier than I already do, you’re doing a pretty good job of it.” I gave her a tight smile.
“Oh, Cameron, my sweet boy.” She pressed her hand against my cheek. “Hailee is your heart. You can’t live without your heart, baby.”
“But Mom, I can’t go...” Tears burned my throat. “What if something happens—”
“Ssh.” Her eyes fluttered closed. “All I want is for you and Xander to be happy. That’s all any mother can wish for. And that girl is your key to happiness. You need to let her in, Cameron. Love is hard and messy, and God knows, it hurts sometimes. But the kind of love the two of you share is rare. And I can’t explain it, but she needs you right now. I just know it.”
“But you need me...” The dam broke and tears spilled freely down my cheeks.
“I’m not going anywhere yet, I promise. I need to make sure my boy pulls his head out of his butt and makes things right with his girl first.”
“Okay,” I breathed.
“Okay?”
“Yeah, Mom,” I said, because how could I deny her?
How could I deny myself when all I wanted was to see Hailee, to know she was okay?
The answer was, I couldn’t.
Hailee
I felt like crap.
Ever since finding out I was pregnant two weeks ago, it had been a constant cycle of sickness and lethargy. I’d missed a ton of classes, and spent most of my time camped out on the sofa watching daytime TV, sucking ice chips, and feeling sorry for myself.
Felicity and Mya were on my back to tell Cameron. According to my dates, I was almost entering the second trimester. I had a scan booked for next week.
I wanted to tell him. I did. So many times, I’d reached for my cell to call him. But every time, something stopped me.
Cameron was facing the biggest loss a child could have... the timing sucked.
Everything about it sucked.
Yet, I knew I had to tell him eventually.
I’d just got comfortable, ready for another episode of Friends, when the doorbell rang. That was odd. People usually buzzed to be let into the building.
Throwing the blanket off me, I padded across the apartment and checked the peephole. “Cameron?” His name spilled from my lips and I fumbled to open the door. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey.” An uncertain smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Can I come in?” he asked when I didn’t reply.
“I... uh... this is your apartment too; you don’t need an invitation.”
Cameron was here.
Oh God.
I pulled my oversized cardigan around my body.
“Are you okay,” he said, “you don’t look so good?”
“I’m fine. What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry to just show up, but my mom—”
“Is she okay? I mean, I know she’s not okay. But did something—”
“Hailee, relax, she’s okay, all things considered.”
“That’s good.” I let out a small sigh of relief. “You didn’t call to say you were coming?”
“Honestly?” He ran a hand down his handsome face. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“Oh.”
This was so awkward, and I hated it. I hated that we’d become like strangers to one another.
“Do you want to sit?” I asked.
“Yeah, that would be good.”
We moved into the living room. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He eyed the glass of ice chips and the blanket.
“I haven’t been feeling great.”
“I didn’t know.”
“You’ve had bigger things on your mind. How’s Xander?”
“He’s good. Thank you for the care packages. He loved them. He misses you.”
I gave him a small shrug. “It’s the least I could do. Cameron, why are you here?” I blurted out.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“That came out wrong. I’m happy to see you, I am. It’s just you kind of caught me off guard.”
“I miss you, Hailee. I miss you so fucking much. I wanted to call, but I was so scared you’d tell me not to come...”
“You thought I’d... Cameron, I’m right here. I’ve always been here. I’ve just been trying to give you space.”
“I know you have.” He reached for me, but thought better of it and thrust his hand under his thigh. It stung.
“My mom had a dream...”
“A dream?”
“I know it sounds crazy, but she got it into her head you needed me. She insisted I come to see you. Like got really weird about it.”
“So, you’re here because of your mom?”
“No, that’s not... I know how it sounds, but I wanted to come. I’ve wanted to come ever since you left. But I couldn’t leave them, and it wasn’t fair to ask you to stay. Fuck...” Cameron’s eyes shuttered as he inhaled a ragged breath. “Everything is so fucked-up.”