“Oh. Yeah. Sure.”
“Sorry to bother you,” he said, taking one step into the room. He’d obviously taken a shower too. She could smell soap from all the way on the bed, and he wore a pair of gray pajama pants and a white undershirt.
“It’s fine. Did you need something?”
“I wanted to make sure you’re all right.” It was dark in the room except for the light from the television, so she couldn’t see his expression very well. But his eyes were clearly focused on her face.
“I’m fine.” She was pleased that she sounded light and casual. “I told you I had everything I need.”
“I know. But it felt like...” He took a few steps closer, obviously trying to see her better. “It felt like something was wrong. I was worried. Are you sure you’re okay with everything?”
Of course he’d noticed something was wrong. Why the hell couldn’t he be clueless and self-focused like most of the other men she’d spent time with in her life? She smiled at him brightly. “I’m fine. I’d tell you if I wasn’t. I’m not actually all that good at keeping things to myself.”
He smiled. It felt like he was relaxing slightly. “Okay. It just felt like something was wrong.”
He didn’t ask the question again, but it was clear that he wanted an explanation for her weird mood before they’d said good night earlier.
She lay back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as she thought through how she should respond. She didn’t normally guard her words that way, but this was important. Carter was important. She didn’t want to blow things with him by blurting out something stupid. “I don’t know. I guess maybe I... I feel kind of bad sometimes. Your mom is so sweet, and she seems so happy that we’re... that she thinks we’re in love. I don’t know.”
Carter came all the way over to the bed. “Can I sit down?” he asked.
“Of course.” She scooted over to make room for him to sit on the edge of the bed.
When he did, he turned to gaze down at her, his expression thoughtful and sober. “I’ve been feeling a little bad too. They’re all so happy for me, and they like you so much.”
“It’s probably more the idea of me than me myself.”
“No. They love you.” He sighed. “Maybe this whole plan was stupid and selfish. Maybe I never should have let us do it. I just wanted...”
“I know what you wanted.” She’d forgotten about her own worries and insecurities in the face of Carter’s internal conflict. “I completely understand that you needed them to see you moving on. And it can still work. I mean, they might be disappointed, but you won’t be genuinely crushed when we break up, so they’ll probably understand that you weren’t as in love with me as they thought. They’ll see you moving on, so the pressure will be off you. People break up all the time. They’ll understand. And maybe it will free Summer and Lincoln from that guilt they still feel.”
“Yeah. And it’s too late now anyway. Even if we call it off now, they’d still go through the same disappointment, so we might as well stretch it out until Christmas like we originally planned.” He was fiddling with the covers on her bed. Just idly bunching them up in his fingers. “If that’s still okay with you.”
“Yeah. It’s good with me. I’ve already got jobs lined up for months. If we do this until Christmas, I’ll probably be set for all of next year.”
“Good. I’m glad. You’re really good at what you do, so you deserve to be a success.”
She was far more embarrassed by the matter-of-fact compliment than she should have been. She wanted to hide her eyes. “Um, yeah. Whatever.”
He chuckled, the warm sound of it like a physical touch.
“So you’re okay?” he asked after a minute, so softly she could barely hear him.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
They stared at each other in the dark. His hand moved to brush her cheek with his knuckles, the slight touch sending shock waves of pleasure all through her.
Then he cleared his throat and stood up abruptly. “Okay. I’ll let you sleep then. See you tomorrow.”
“See you.”
He left quickly, closing the door behind him.
Ruth was warm and soft and tender and a little disappointed. She’d wanted Carter to touch her more. Keep touching her. Never stop.
But it was far safer for him to leave, so she tried to be pleased that he had.
RUTH WOKE UP THE NEXT morning in a really good mood. Her nerves and uncertainties seemed to have settled during the night, and she was instead excited about the day.
A day off. No work. Just hanging out with Carter and the others in a nice house with good food she didn’t have to cook for herself.
And then a lazy weekend after that.
She was going to enjoy it. She wasn’t going to worry about getting too deep. It was okay to like Carter and appreciate his family. It didn’t mean she was losing control here.
She woke up at just after seven, which was far too early to get up and go downstairs. Breakfast wasn’t planned until nine, and everyone else would still be asleep, so she’d be all alone in an empty house. There was a coffee maker in her room, so she made herself a cup, opened the curtains, and climbed back into bed to wait for the sunrise.
The house had a built-in sound system with speakers and individual remotes in every room. She turned on the satellite radio for her room and found something she liked, keeping the volume down enough not to annoy anyone else in the house. She started with country music, but it wasn’t fitting her mood this morning, so she found the station that played pop music from the past two decades. That gave her a happy, nostalgic buzz, so she left it there as she checked her phone and drank her coffee.
About a half hour later, she got up to go to the bathroom and make herself more coffee. When a popular girl-power song from several years ago came on the radio, she stayed on her feet and started to sing with it. It was a fun, uplifting song, and she got into the spirit of it, dancing around while trying to preserve the coffee in the mug she was still holding.
It was silly, but she enjoyed it. It felt free, singing out the familiar words, tossing her loose hair, and pumping her fist at appropriate times as she danced.
The song was nearing the end when she whirled around in a particularly dramatic spin and saw that the connecting door to Carter’s room was open.
He was leaning against the doorframe, wearing nothing but his pajama pants. He was big enough to fill the doorway, and he was grinning as he watched her wild, messy performance.
After an initial wave of self-consciousness, she decided she didn’t care. So she kept singing and dancing until the song ended, enjoying the fond amusement in his eyes.
When the music faded out, he laughed and clapped for her.
She rolled her eyes. “You didn’t think about knocking?”
“I did knock. You must not have heard me.” His body was still shaking with soft hilarity.
“Oh. Was I too loud? I tried not to turn it up too much.”
“It wasn’t too loud. The sound systems in these two rooms are connected.”
She took her last gulp of coffee and put her cup down. “Oh.” Maybe it was the buzz from the singing or maybe that tantalizing sight of Carter’s naked chest. She wasn’t putting the pieces together well.