No sooner than the words had left her mouth, Krissy glanced over her shoulder and looked at Rafe with longing in her eyes. I knew then that she wasn’t done with “bad boys”—at least not yet. It was moments like these that I was glad I didn’t get involved in relationships. They were just too much fucking trouble. I was more of a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of guy, keeping my distance from anything remotely resembling a connection with a woman. My time for that had come and gone, and I was good with it. I had my brothers and the club. As their enforcer, I focused on whatever needed to be done to keep both safe and thriving. But every now and then, I’d find myself thinking about her, and the minute she crossed my mind, a sense of darkness would wash over me.
“Hey, man.” Axel, our VP, nudged me with his elbow, pulling me from my thoughts. “You all right?”
“Yeah.” I inhaled a deep breath, doing my best to shake the memory. “What’s up?”
“Got word from Flint. He’ll have our shipment in by the morning.”
“Damn, this motherfucker doesn’t mess around.”
“No, he sure doesn’t, and it’s a good thing too, especially with the new club.”
After running into some trouble with our last handler, we’d had no other choice but to look for someone else to bring in our take each month, which was no small feat, either. We’d opened up a second strip club, so our demand for blow had doubled overnight. The club needed someone trustworthy without sacrificing the quality of the goods. It took some time to find the right man for the job, but after a little help from Gus, the president of Satan’s Fury MC in Memphis, we found Flint. From day one, the guy seemed to be on top of things, dealing with the pressure without any major struggles, and we were extremely happy with his product. Axel pulled up a chair next to me and sat down. “Figure we’ll head over there just before daylight to pick it up.”
“Sounds good.” I took a drink of my beer before asking, “Anyone else coming?”
“We could handle it ourselves, but I figure we better get Hawk and Rafe to come along with us just in case.”
“Probably a good idea.” It was just a simple transaction, but when dealing with that kind of money, it’s best to have a little backup in case something goes awry. “Viper still thinking about expanding our distribution?”
“He hasn’t made any final decisions, but I’m thinking he’s just gonna leave things the way they are. We’ve got a good thing here. No reason to push our luck or whatever.”
“Can’t disagree.” I shrugged. “I trust Viper to make a decision that’s right for the club.”
“That he will.” Axel looked over at the bar and smiled when he saw Rafe talking to Krissy. “Looks like he’s still in the game.”
“Maybe.”
“Hell, there’s no doubt about it.” He laughed. “That chick is looking at him like she’d drink his dirty bathwater.”
“That she is. I guess Widow’s gonna owe me fifty bucks after all.” I stood up. “I’m gonna head over to Stilettos and check in with Menace. I’ll meet you back here first thing in the morning.”
He nodded, then said, “Let me know how things are over there.”
“Will do.”
I hadn’t intended to go to the strip club, but I’d had enough of social hour. It was time to break away for a little wind therapy. There was no better way to clear my head than a ride on my Harley, especially when the weather was accommodating. I stepped outside, pleased to see that there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the Tennessee humidity felt less stifling than usual. In fact, the air couldn’t have been more perfect. Once I’d pulled through the clubhouse gate, I eased the throttle back and let the rumble of the engine drown out my thoughts.
It was just me and the road ahead. Normally, that was all it took to keep the memories at bay, but no matter how fast I rode or how hard I tried, I found myself thinking about Lindsey. Her green eyes and innocent smile got me right in the gut. Just like that, the memories cut loose their chains and invaded my mind, barreling through the walls I’d put up to protect myself from those dark days. Fuck.
I didn’t want to think about the night she left me any more than I wanted to remember the day my folks had died. As soon as I did, a heaviness would settle in my chest, and I’d struggle to breathe.
Beep …… Beep ……Beep ……
Every muscle in my body was tense as I sat there in that cold, stark hospital with Lindsey’s parents. I didn’t want to be there. I knew what was coming, and I wasn’t ready to face it. For months, I’d come to that hospital room every single day to spend time with her. I wanted to hold on to the hope that since her bruises had faded, and her wounds had started to heal, it was a sign she was getting better. But the doctors told us otherwise. Lindsey was in a deep coma with no indication she’d be coming out of it. I wanted to talk to her, tell her how sorry I was this had happened, but I wasn’t even sure she knew I was in that room with her.
I was losing her. I knew it but didn’t want to accept it. My heart couldn’t take it. I felt like someone was trying to pry it right out of my chest, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it but sit there and listen to the monitor as the love of my life slipped through my fingers.
Some might say that nineteen was too young to know what love really was, but that wasn’t true. What Lindsey and I had was the real deal, and no one could convince me differently.
Beep …… Beep …… Beep ……
I’d met Lindsey several years after my folks had passed away in a boating accident. I was still a fucking mess though, consumed with guilt that I hadn’t been with them on the day they’d died.
It was a long weekend, and my dad decided it would be a great time to go fishing at Pickwick State Park. As much as I had wanted to tag along, I wasn’t feeling well and had to stay behind with my sitter, Ada. It wasn’t until the following morning that I’d learned my mom and dad had drowned. I was ripped to shreds over it and couldn’t shake the thought that if I’d been with them, I might’ve been able to help in some way. I was only eleven at the time, so it was crazy to think that I could’ve done anything. That never stopped me from wondering if I might’ve been able to warn them. Maybe then, the water wouldn’t have pulled them through the spillways and drowned them both. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have lost my parents and ended up in fucking foster care.
I’d spent years bouncing around different homes, each one worse than the last, but the tables finally had turned when I met Lindsey’s parents. I could tell right away the Lannisters were nice people with a good head on their shoulders, but they’d been hesitant to take on a sixteen-year-old boy with a history of trouble, especially when they had a daughter at home. I didn’t want to risk losing out on my chance of being in a decent place for once, so I’d thrown on the charm and had done my best to make a good impression. I flashed my baby blues, gave them both a firm handshake, and smiled as I said all the things they’d wanted to hear. Needless to say, my irresistible demeanor had won them over, and it didn’t take long for me to do the same with Lindsey.