‘Let’s not risk the lift, eh,’ he said, and they took the stairs, the receptionists watching them pass through the lobby as if Elvis was leaving the building.
When they were at safe distance, Jamie said: ‘Michael’s been aggro with you?’
‘Yes. Pretty much promising me pariah status if I keep seeing you.’
Jamie exhaled. ‘This is beyond shit, isn’t it? What business is it of his?’
‘It’s truly warped. Like I should’ve put myself up for bids in a fair and open democratic process and not selfishly decided who I wanted to date myself. He painted you as borderline sex offender.’
Laurie knew she was being slightly indiscreet but she was rattled, and she wanted Jamie’s support. And Michael despising him was hardly unknown to Jamie.
‘What a creep.’ Jamie shook his head. ‘Imagine bullying and intimidating a woman about her choices in her private life and thinking you’re the one respecting her. I did warn you he had a thing for you.’
‘I didn’t think it would turn so nasty. He and I have always got on, he knows I’m sound. We’ve worked together for six or seven years. One photo of me – well, two – looking cosy with you, and boom, all gone.’
‘Mmm. Welcome to being outside the circle of trust in this place. It’s like The Revenant without the snow.’
Laurie smiled. Jamie liked his film references.
‘Why does Michael despise you so much?’ she asked. Might as well get Jamie’s side, which she didn’t trust either.
‘Oh he’s loathed me from the word go. His big mate Anthony Barratt was off, I got given his caseload, and there was loads of stuff missing. I had to ask for documents from the CPS and get an adjournment. I mean he was sick, there’s no shame that he dropped the odd ball, but what was I supposed to do? Fuck the cases up and get marks against my name, five minutes after I joined, to spare Ant’s dignity?’
‘It says too much about this place that I think the answer is “yes.” You are describing what they call a team player.’
‘Huh. More like a fall guy for their macho bullshit.’
Subservience, that was the word, that was what they demanded from Laurie, from women, but also from Jamie. Maybe he wasn’t disgracefully cocky, maybe he’d simply not felt the need to tone down his self-assurance in order to be liked. Which was quite likeable in itself – to thine own self be true.
Laurie combed her memory for any example of Jamie’s arrogance and could only come up with instances of him being hard working, and unapologetic about the fact. Which irked people, and to Laurie’s chagrin, had irked her too.
The culture here depended so much on playing the game, they’d all ceased to notice that they were playing it.
‘Shall I have a word?’ he added.
‘How? I mean … Why?’
‘In this alt-verse,’ Jamie lowered his voice, ‘you’re my girlfriend, and if a colleague was having a go at my girlfriend, I’d stick up for her. I’m minded to as a mate, anyway.’
‘Thanks, but that would send Michael up like a Roman candle. I think we have to tough it out saying as little as we can.’
Jamie nodded.
‘Also, the idea Michael has a right to an opinion here full stop, makes me fume.’
‘Erm …’ Jamie looked at the ground and scratched his neck.
‘What?’
Seconds later, Dan walked past with another colleague from civil. Catching sight of Laurie and Jamie, Dan boggled, wide-eyed in shock, and looked away.
‘Hi,’ Jamie said, with a small, polite smile. Neither Dan, or the man he was with, spoke. Full blanking. Laurie didn’t acknowledge them, so she wasn’t sure she could legally claim blanking.
‘If looks could kill, I’d be in the ICU at Manchester Royal right now,’ Jamie said.
Laurie gave Jamie a wan smile, heart thumping.
This time, Laurie faced the fact there was no putting the genie back in the lamp. Even if she said SURPRISE, EARLY APRIL FOOL GUYS WE WEREN’T DATING! it wouldn’t help matters now.
She’d had a ‘fling’ with the office scoundrel and that was on her record forever. Dan was perturbed. But not enough to say anything to her. Had she achieved her goal? Was this what she wanted?
‘You’re OK, though?’ Jamie said. ‘You’re not going to let Michael get to you?’
‘Nah,’ Laurie said, with a rueful smile.
‘Right. Here if you need me,’ Jamie said, and squeezed her shoulder. It felt good to have an ally. Then they broke eye contact as it visibly crossed both their minds that this was a moment a real couple might quick-kiss on parting, and Jamie beat a hasty retreat back into the building.
An uncomfortable thought occurred to Laurie, as she returned to her desk – this might benefit Jamie a lot more than her. Jamie’s reputation wasn’t taking any hit for his liaison with Laurie and he might yet get his name above the door. Laurie, meanwhile, hadn’t priced the effect on hers into the policy of upsetting Dan.
What did she have to lose, she’d asked, in devil may care manner. The answer: her good name.
And when she’d said she craved making Dan jealous, she’d omitted a crucial question, one Emily told her she used with her clients: what would success look and feel like to you? (‘Expectation management is crucial or they shoot the messenger, every time,’ she said. ‘That is rule number one. Get them to define it, so the result is provably what they ordered. You’d be amazed how many people aren’t careful what they wish for.’)
What did she need from this revenge campaign? Laurie knew. She absolutely knew, but because it was so silly, so ugly – given a blameless baby was involved – so desperate and beneath her, she had pushed the thought away. And yet. There it was.
She had to face it directly.
She wanted Dan to want her back.
23
It was half an hour until home time, and Laurie longed for 5.30 p.m. like a long lost lover. She used to routinely work late, but she’d started to honour her official clocking off, to the minute. Who or what was going to stop her?
‘She had a funeral, for her cat?’ Bharat said.
‘Noodle was twenty!’ Di said. Laurie was Team Bharat on matters involving Di’s sister Kim, who did appear to be somewhat semi detached from reality, as a healing crystal proponent and anti vaxxer.
‘It doesn’t get less ridiculous with each passing year.’
‘Noodle was known in the area, she wanted to give people a chance to pay their respects.’
‘Were there … readings?’
Di pursed her lips. ‘A couple of short ones.’
‘Hahahaha! Oh my life! Imagine if the neighbours looked over the fence. Oh here I am, having a totally normal one, reciting a passage from Corinthians, over the burial site of a Persian cat.’
The details of the passing of Noodle were interrupted by Kerry.
‘Laurie. Mr Salter wants to see you,’ she said, wearing malignity and triumph like a heady perfume. ‘Are you free now?’
‘Oh? Yeah.’
Laurie hard gulped and got up. This was … not good. The timing suggested that he’d either heard about Jamie or the arsonist or both, and she was about to face a reckoning. Kerry was animated by an expectant energy that certainly suggested so.