“What are you doing here, love?” He kept his back to her, and Lauren shivered at the dark, dangerous quality of his voice. If he was surprised at discovering her in his room, he did not show it. He sounded… tense. Cautious. Aroused.
“I wish to finish our conversation.”
“Most definitely not the ideal time or place, Lauren. How did you get in here, anyway?”
“Penelope.” Lauren studied him, taking in every nuance of his body and its reaction to her words. “I do not plan on leaving this room until we have settled this matter between us, Theo. Won’t you look at me?”
A shuddering breath escaped him. “I don’t dare.”
Lauren swallowed. “Why? Have you changed your mind about me? About us?” The last word came out almost as a sob.
Theodore let out a harsh laugh. “Changed my mind? Far from it, love. It is taking all the willpower I possess not to ravish you.”
“Please, Theo. Come here to me.” Perhaps if she pleaded, he would relent.
“St. Simon’s Cross, Lauren—” The curse tumbled from him. His hands clenched into fists against his thighs, shoulders rounding with the effort to keep from whirling about and pouncing on her. “This is dangerous. Dangerous and foolish, and I don’t know what the hell your cousin is thinking by allowing you in here…”
“I shall ask the same question I posed earlier today. What would you do differently if you could? Would you tell me what our fathers had done?”
Theodore slowly turned, seeking Lauren out and finding her in his bed. His eyes pinned her in place. The twin orbs glowed in the soft light cast by the fire, so bright and so fierce, Lauren thought they could be rare sapphires.
She wondered what he thought of her, sitting as she was in the middle of the rumpled sheets, a night rail of dark blue silk barely concealing her body. Did he find her desirable? Did he think her plain brown hair softy and shiny? Was her skin too pale for his tastes? Were her lips full and pink enough that he dreamt of them?
“Dear God,” he choked out, finally. “You are a vision. A gift I do not deserve. Are you truly here?”
Lauren’s heart pounded as though it were a wild herd of horses set free from captivity. With a tremulous sigh, she reached for him.
He came forward hesitantly until he stood beside the bed. Enfolding her hand into his larger one, he stared down at her, his eyes roaming over every curve and line of her body. She flushed, warming from his gaze and the incredible heat of his hand.
“Theo?”
He shook himself, reaching out with his free hand to trace the plumpness of her lips with a forefinger.
“I would tell you the truth of the matter,” he admitted in a low voice. “That my father was dying, our fortunes were long depleted, and I alone was responsible for the estates and the care of my mother. My lofty title was of no use when creditors refused to extend finances. My father and Lord Kendall believed it best for all involved if you did not know the details behind our engagement. To my shame, I followed their directives because I wanted you so much, but it was wrong. I was wrong. I should have told you from the very start. If I had, we would have started our marriage with honesty and trust.”
“Father knew my stubbornness. The idea of being sold for a title and safety repulsed me.”
“It may have suited other purposes financially, but we fell in love first, Lauren. Before anything else, there’s that, and it’s the truth. No matter what else you might think, above all else, I loved you first.”
A tear tracked down Lauren’s cheek. She swiped it away. “I believe you, Theo.”
Theodore’s eyes closed, a momentary selfishness where he appeared to be thanking some higher being. When his gaze locked on hers again, it was with fierce protectiveness. “Now, you must return to your room. We shall call for Penelope to escort you…”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
His hand tightened on hers, their fingers entwined. Leaning down, he murmured against her ear, “I threatened a man’s life tonight for you, Lauren. Promised I would tear him apart with my bare hands if he so much as uttered your name in a way that displeased me. Made sure he understood I would take great pleasure in it if he dares slander your honor. Lady Emma, in protecting her own reputation, linked her retreat during the games with your absence. I’ll not have those actions erased now.” His eyes roamed her features with undisguised hunger. “There is no other option. You must go because I can’t protect you if you stay, darling. Not from myself. Not from what I want to do with you.”
Lauren held up the mistletoe, her manner solemn. “I do not wish for protection. I wish to be kissed and held. I wish you…”
A hand clapped over her mouth, cutting off her words. “For the love of God, Lauren,” he choked out. “Have mercy.”
In response, she nipped his palm.
Theodore let out a sharp hiss, his hand snatching away.
“If there is mistletoe, you must kiss me, Theodore. Are those not the rules you put in place?” Lauren’s eyes flashed with silver fire. “Or do they only matter when you are the one enforcing them?”
“Damnit, I’m trying to save you from yourself… and from me.”
“I don’t want to be saved. If dying by fire is the only way to prove…” Lauren shot back.
“There are a thousand ways to die,” Theodore interrupted with a growl. “Having torn myself away from you once, I’m discovering it kills me to do so again.”
“I choose to die in your arms. By your kiss. Hearing you say I am yours and you are mine. I will die saying I love you.” Her words flowed out in a rush, her hand keeping his prisoner when he might have pulled away. “Theodore, don’t push me away now when I am giving you everything I have. I am surrendering.”
His features softened, his gaze turning molten. “Never, darling. Never surrender. I will not have you on your knees for me. I will not have you as anything other than what you are—fierce, stubborn, loyal, and smart enough to make me see how wrong I’ve been.”
Sinking onto the bed, Theodore took her by the shoulders, his long fingers gently caressing her flesh as he stared at her. “Do you truly mean what you said? That you love me?”
“I’ve never stopped.” Lauren inched closer, reveling in the heat of his body. Intoxicating and lavish, it radiated from him in waves. It left her drowsy and yet embroiled in a heightened sense of awareness. The broad expanse of his chest beckoned for her fingers, calling for exploration, and the palms of her hands twitched with restless hunger, ready to smooth across the muscles hidden beneath the white cambric shirt. “I’ve always loved you. I always will.”
Theodore slid his hands down her arms until both her hands were captured in his, the mistletoe crushed. Leaning forward, his forehead touched hers as he swore a hoarse vow.
“I love you, Lauren. I want to marry you. Take care of you. Give you half a dozen babies, all blessed with your gorgeous eyes, and watch them with you as they grow up. I want to squabble with you about insignificant things, then make amends by covering you head to toe with kisses. I want to grow old and grey with you, knowing we’ll spend eternity together side by side.”
Lauren laughed, a little sob escaping at the same time. “Yes, Theodore. I want that, too. All that and more.”