“I know. And she said that, too. But…” She shook her head.
This was all my fault. I was fucking things up. Ireland was afraid to be with me because I’d given her no reason to feel secure. The best I’d offered was that I wasn’t sure what I was capable of. If it wasn’t me pulling back, it was her. The two of us were playing a game of perpetual chicken, and it was time for me to either get the hell off the road or say fuck it and crash into her and hang on.
I leaned forward. “I’m crazy about you, Ireland. The only other woman I told that to, I married. I’m sorry for giving you doubt. I know I’ve done that. But…” I made sure to look directly into her eyes. “I want to make it work with you. For the last seven years, I didn’t want to make anything work. I think about you at eleven a.m. when I’m busy in a meeting. The last seven years, I only thought about women at eleven p.m. when I was lonely. There’s a big fucking difference.”
Ireland’s eyes started to water. “I want it to work, too.”
I smiled. “So let’s do that, sweetheart. Let’s just let it work.”
She took a minute, maybe to digest everything I’d said, I wasn’t sure.
But then she smiled. “Okay.”
I let out a breath. “Do you want to get some lunch or what?”
She nodded. “I need about twenty minutes to finish up.”
I stood. “I’ll order us something. Meet me over in my office when you’re done.”
“Okay.”
I turned around to open the door, but I stopped with my hand on the handle. “Take off your underwear before you come. Because when we’re done with lunch, I’m going to eat you on my desk.”
***
The bride is supposed to be the center of attention at a wedding, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of the woman in royal blue. The sexy spaghetti-strap dress hugged every one of Ireland’s luscious curves, and her pinned-up hair showcased a long, delicate neck and that collarbone I loved so much. Her skin was creamy and smooth, perfectly unblemished, and I sat in my seat salivating at the thought of sinking my teeth into it tonight while I tore that pretty dress from her body. She squinted and smirked as she walked toward where I sat watching her from across the room.
“You look devious right now,” she said, arriving at the table.
I took her hand and tugged her to sit on my lap. “That’s because I’m thinking devious thoughts.”
She giggled. “Oh yeah? Tell me about them on the dance floor. I think I’m done with wedding party duties, so I’m all yours for the rest of the night.”
“I like the sound of that.”
Out on the dance floor, I pulled her close and rested my cheek against hers. I used the opportunity to whisper in her ear. “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”
“You did. But that’s okay. I don’t mind hearing it again.”
“Women don’t usually wear dresses from a wedding party a second time, right?”
“Usually, no. But I think I might get use out of this one. It’s so pretty and simple. It doesn’t look like a typical maid-of-honor dress.”
I spun us around. “I’ll buy you a new one.”
Ireland’s cute little nose wrinkled. “Oh my God, did I get something on it?”
“No, but by morning it’s going to be shredded.”
Her eyes widened. “It’s ripped? Where?”
“Relax. It’s not ripped…yet. But I’m literally going to tear it from your body later.”
She smiled. “Is that what you were thinking when I walked over? You had such a devilish face.”
“It’s the only thing I’ve been able to think about since I picked you up tonight.”
She tucked her head in so we were cheek to cheek again and whispered in my ear, “Remember when we danced at the fundraiser?”
“I do.”
“My entire body was tingly while I was in your arms, and I had to pretend to be unaffected while we danced.”
I smiled. “And I had to keep my hips at a distance so you didn’t feel how hard you were making me.”
“I guess we’ve both been attracted to each other from the beginning.”
“Sweetheart, you have no idea. You had my curiosity piqued with a drunken email that told me to go to hell.”
We danced in comfortable silence for a minute. One song ended and a new one began. I was grateful it was another slow song so I had a reason to keep Ireland in my arms. I shut my eyes and enjoyed the moment. Though the woman in my arms must’ve been looking around.
“I don’t want a big wedding like this,” she said.
Normally, a woman even mentioning the word wedding had me running for the hills. But not this time. I wanted to hear more.
“Were you one of those little girls who played bride when you were a kid? When I was little, my sisters used to spend an entire day making decorations for the living room for their pretend weddings. They’d take turns wearing our mother’s wedding dress, and my mother would make me stand in as the groom. I hated it.”
She laughed. “That must’ve been adorable.”
“It was more like torture.”
She sighed. “I didn’t have any siblings, and my parents had a screwed-up relationship. So maybe that’s why I never really imagined my wedding as a little girl.”
That made me hold her tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m not sure if little girls dreaming about weddings is so healthy anyway. I didn’t play bride, but I definitely played news anchor. I spent hours in front of the mirror talking into my hairbrush handle. At least I didn’t grow up chasing some fantasy of what a wedding is supposed to be.”
“So no big white dress and three hundred people at a catering hall then?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I want to be barefoot on a beach somewhere. Maybe at sunset with a few friends and close family, and lights hanging from palm trees while a local calypso band plays.”
I smiled. “That sounds nice.” It was the first time in forever that I’d discussed anything to do with a wedding without comparing it to my and Lily’s fiasco. I had no desire to think of my ex-wife when Ireland was in my arms. With every woman I’d been with since my divorce, I’d wanted that constant reminder—wanted to remember why I needed to keep my distance. Yet with Ireland, I wanted to forget it and move on.
The rest of the evening, we alternated talking to her friends, hanging out with the bride and groom, and dancing together. She even made me dance to some pop music, which I never did. But it was worth it to watch her tits bounce up and down while she jumped. By the end of the night, I couldn’t wait to get her back to the hotel alone. I’d admitted I couldn’t wait to rip the dress off of her, but I knew I would follow her lead as to where she wanted things to go. She’d invited me to stay the night, but I still wasn’t sure if she was ready to take the next step.
So I slowed things down once we were in her suite. I opened wine and handed it to her while she looked out at the water from the bedroom window.
“Thank you.”
I had to shove my free hand into my pocket to stop myself from touching her. One touch while we were alone in a room with nothing but a bed, and I could be done for. So instead, I sipped my wine and stared out at the sea with her.