I shook my head rapidly.
“So it is physically possible you are pregnant? Meaning you’ve been with a man in the last month or so?”
I lifted my hand to my throat, which suddenly felt tighter. “Yes. But we used protection. And I’m on the pill.”
“Did you miss any of your pills?”
“No. Definitely not. And I take them at the same time every day.”
“Were you on any antibiotics or sick at any time?”
I shook my head.
Dr. Rupert sighed. “Well, it is only 99.7-percent effective, even under the best of circumstances.”
“But we used a condom, too!”
“Well, that obviously makes the odds even smaller that a pregnancy would occur. Sometimes there are just stubborn swimmers.” Dr. Rupert patted my arm. “Would you like us to give you a minute before discussing the x-rays?”
I wanted him to rewind time and start over by saying I wasn’t pregnant. How could I be? Grant was going to—oh my God. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Grant would say. Without realizing it, I must’ve started to hyperventilate.
“Ms. Saint James? Breathe slowly. Take some long, deep breaths.” Dr. Rupert turned to the orthopedist that I had forgotten was even in the room. “Jordan, grab us a paper bag, will you?”
A minute later the nurse came in and asked me to breathe into a paper bag while three people stood around. She held my wrist and took my pulse until she was happy with the results. “You can stop now. Just keep taking big, deep breaths.”
I rubbed my forehead. “God, I’m so embarrassed. I’ve never had to do that before.”
The nurse smiled. “I have three kids under four. If my head isn’t in a brown paper bag once a week, I’m hiding in the closet to sneak a glass of wine.”
After I calmed down a little more, the nurse left, and Dr. Rupert asked if the orthopedist could take a look at my arm. Anytime it moved at all, it hurt. But suddenly I was too numb to even feel the pain.
When he finished assessing, he spoke to both Dr. Rupert and me. “I do recommend having an x-ray. Your ulna is most likely fractured. Bruising is starting to form on your wrist already, so we need to see if the bones are aligned or might need surgical repair or a reduction.”
I heard every word he said, but none of them seemed to sink in. They went on to give me the pros and cons of having x-rays while pregnant, and then Dr. Rupert looked at me for a response.
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “You said it’s safe?”
“We’ll cover your abdomen with a lead apron and take the minimal amount as a precaution. Your reproductive organs won’t be exposed to radiation. In cases like yours, where the risk of harm to your unborn child is very small, and the benefit of the diagnostic x-ray outweighs that risk, yes, I recommend it.” He smiled cautiously. “If your ulna needs to be reset and isn’t, you could lose mobility in that arm. Which we don’t want.”
I blew out a giant rush of air and nodded. “Okay.”
“I’m going to admit you overnight, just as a precaution for observation. Would you like for the nurse to call someone for you?”
I thought about maybe calling Mia, but it was so late, and I needed to let everything sink in myself before I could actually say the words out loud. “No, that’s fine. Thank you.”
Dr. Rupert left with the orthopedic doctor, promising to return as soon as the x-ray results came in. I was glad I got a few minutes alone before the nurse came back.
“Would you like me to bring your brother back in? The registration desk said he’s asked about you twice and he’s pacing.” She smiled. “You have a protective big brother.”
I closed my eyes. The thought of seeing Grant now made me literally sick. But if he wasn’t allowed back here to visit me, he’d undoubtedly make a commotion and suspect something was wrong. There was no way I wanted to have the conversation with him tonight in the ER.
I nodded at the nurse. “Could you bring him back in five minutes? I just need a few more alone.”
“Sure. Of course. Let’s make it ten.”
Not long after, Grant opened the curtain with concern etched in his face. “Is everything alright? That took almost an hour.”
I cleared my throat, but had a hard time looking him in the eyes. “Yeah, everything is fine.”
“Did you go for x-rays?”
“No, not yet.”
He put his hands on his hips. “Let me move you over to Memorial. I have an old friend on staff there.”
“No, it’s fine. They said it wouldn’t be too much longer.”
It was impossible to hide my inner freak out. I managed to get through telling Grant about the orthopedic doc’s assessment of aligned vs. non-aligned without mentioning the reason he was called in before the x-rays. I also told him I was being admitted for observation. But after that, I was very quiet.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Does anything else hurt?”
His concern made me feel even worse about lying. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
Ten minutes later, the nurse came in. Before I could say a word, Grant stood. “Can you examine her again? She doesn’t seem like herself suddenly. I’d like a doctor to check her out again.”
The nurse looked to me, and I suddenly panicked she might say something about my pregnancy. I hadn’t specifically told them not to, though obviously there were privacy laws. Seeing me pale and wide eyed, the nurse caught on.
“Umm… I don’t think that’s necessary. This is perfectly normal. There’s an adrenaline surge and then a sudden drop after a trauma. I’d be worried if Ms. Saint James wasn’t getting groggy.”
Grant nodded, seeming to accept the explanation. Thank God.
“I’m going to take her down to x-ray now. We’ll probably be a while. Since she’s being admitted, you can go home, and I’ll bring your sister a phone after the treatment for her arm is decided.”
I turned to Grant. One look at his face, and I knew there was no chance he was leaving. He folded his arms across his chest. “I’m staying right here.”
The nurse looked to me, and I nodded. “It’s fine if he stays.”
She disappeared a moment and came back with a wheelchair. She and Grant stood at my sides to make sure I could get up, even though I’d said I was fine.
“We’ll be back in a while,” she said to Grant. “Make yourself comfortable.”
The nurse stopped at the nursing station and lowered her voice to speak to another nurse. “I’m waiting for x-ray to call down to say they’re ready for Ms. Saint James. Can you page me when they do?”
Once the double doors of the emergency room closed behind us, and we were out of Grant’s earshot, she spoke while she pushed my chair.
“I sensed that maybe you needed a few minutes without your brother around. I know what you learned was a shock, so I figured you might want to talk about it. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than a family member. But if you don’t, that’s fine, too. I’m just going to give you a free ride around the halls until they page me and tell me x-ray can take you.”
I sighed. “Thank you.”
As promised, she was quiet and left it up to me to decide if I wanted to talk. After a few minutes, I did.